Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme filled cookies!

So apparently somewhere along the line a few years ago whoever the mad genius is running Nabisco must have made a declaration that they were going to dominate the worldwide cookie game. It was a probably a ten year plan, put together on a massive blackboard in some boardroom. They were going to embrace change and innovation. It started slow, with things like the Golden Oreos. Then the flavors started getting more and more crazy and it started happening more and more often. Fast forward to 2014 and we're getting a new limited flavor of Oreo every time we turn around. Chips Ahoy cookies also had their fair share of new flavors, but nothing like the amount Oreo did. Looks like that might be changing, folks. Nabisco seems to be fast tracking new Chips Ahoy flavors left and right. You may have even read our review for the Mega Fudge, Sweet & Salty , Ice Cream Creations, Chocofudge and Brownie filled. But now they have done something we never thought possible. They have created the first Nabisco cookie cross over. Ladies and gents, let's get right to it! Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme filled cookies!

This isn't a dream. I promise it's real. 

Oreo cream inside of a chewy chocolate chip cookie. Seems like a home run no matter what! The mere mention that these existed was enough to get us to jump in cars and hit a half dozen local shopping centers. OREO CREAM INSIDE OF A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE! So do they live up to expectations?

Look like regular old cookies right? 

Kinda. You see, the biggest strike against these cookies are the cookies themselves. Chewy Chips Ahoy aren't a very exciting cookie. They aren't bad, they just aren't something I would ever buy. I always want something more exciting. Sure, I'll choose them over the rock solid regular Chip's Ahoy any day. But it's a very rare thing for me to buy a bag of them. They just aren't that great.

All of that changes when you put a layer of Oreo creme in the middle. It's a little more gooey than the cream you get in your Oreo, but the taste is spot on. Being tiny and chewy, it's quite easy to pop a half dozen of these down your gullet before you even realize you're doing it. They are pretty damn delicious. Between four of us, we made short work of a package. Luckily we bought two! Then we had an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

This makes no sense. 

Imagine you put a chewy Chips Ahoy cookie in the middle of an Oreo? So we did it. And yes it was one with Oreo Creme in the middle. Why not? In essence it will be the opposite of the Chewy Chips Ahoy filled with Oreo Creme. It was great! I highly recommend if you find yourself with a package of each of these cookies that you make a version of this for yourself. The crunchy parts of the Oreo offset the chewy chocolate chip cookie and it all comes together for a great crunchy, chewy, sweet mix.

We should work for Nabisco. 

All in all these cookies are excellent and very worth your hard earned cash. THEY HAVE OREO CREME INSIDE THEM!  I'm sure these are only going to be on shelves for a limited time so scoop them up the moment you see them. Because before long Nabisco is going to rip them from the shelves and give us another flavor. I've heard Birthday Cake Frosting Chips Ahoy are coming...
We salute you, Nabisco! For trying new things at the drop of a hat and not giving a damn in the process. That's how they have taken over the cookie game. Oreo AND Chips Ahoy? 3094834 flavors each. Pretty soon the stores are going to do away with any non-Nabisco cookies because they simply won't have room for them. The cookie aisle will be lined with the craziest flavors you could ever imagine. This is a future I will gladly accept. BRING IT ON!

In the end, I give Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme Filled cookies a B+!

As always, feel free to drop us an email to if you have ideas for things or places we can review, or to just tell us we're awesome! You can email us at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com ! Follow us on Twitter for more of our wild antics and the occasional mini-review, @fatguyfoodblog. Also if you find yourself on that Facebook thing, give us a LIKE! Also make sure you scoop up that Fatguyfoodblog t-shirt to wear to the beach this summer. You can get one HERE.
Until next time, friends!

Review by Rich!

Keebler Peanut Butter Smores cookies.

Ah S'mores. The summertime treat mostly enjoyed while braving the great outdoors. There's nothing like roasting a marshmallow over your crackling campfire, and then sandwiching it between a couple graham crackers and a slab of Hersheys chocolate. In recent years the Fatguyfoodblog crew has begun substituting Reeses peanut butter cups in place of the Hersheys. Why? Chocolate+ Peanut Butter > just chocolate. Do the math. It adds up. But however you make your s'mores, when you take that first bite, most of us get a blast of nostalgia. Being a kid, camping with the fam, something along these lines. This is when a snack becomes much more. It's my belief that something like this should be left alone. Let it be the product of combining these materials, all purchased separately, on a special occasion a few times a year.
But nope. Keebler couldn't leave that alone.So for all the lazy pieces of crap out there, they made you a S'more that takes no work! Heck, they even made a peanut butter version! They must have been spying on our last camping trip. So, will these take the place of your classic S'more?
Let's find out...

Wait...where's the marshmallow? 

The Keebler elves made two flavors of these S'mores cookies right out the gate. Original and Peanut Butter. We only reviewed one. Why? Well...they suck. 

Let's break it down. It's basically a chocolate covered wad of slightly peanut butter flavored sand. 

8 little cookies per package. YIKES. 

That's not very appetizing in the least. After one bite of one of these I was reaching for a cup of water because my mouth felt coated with a dusting of fine sand. Then after the second bite I looked down again at the cookie to see if perhaps it really was sand and I was the victim of some cruel prank.

Not the case. They are just bad cookies. 

They are so bad that out of the mere 8 cookies that come in the package, I gave away six. Each of the six people who had one kind of just shrugged and said they were just whatever. I'm definitely going to give them a worse rating than that. They are S'mores and don't have any marshmallow in them. How do you mess that up?

I expect more from the Keebler Elves. I really do. They do a great job copying all of the Girl Scout Cookie flavors. Most of what they do is quite solid. However, this time they have failed. I hope the next time they try to tackle something as important as the S'more, they put a little more research and quality into creating it. If not? Don't even leave your weird little tree house, you creeps!

I give the Keebler S'mores Peanut Butter sandwich cookies a C-, and that's being nice. 

Feel free to drop us a line and tell us what you think of these. Do you agree? Disagree? Let us know! Email us at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com , tweet to us at: @fatguyfoodblog , or post on our facebook wall : www.facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog . We would love to hear from you! 

Want to slap an FGFB sticker on your whip? How about an FGFB shirt to wear to the beach this summer? Hit up our store! http://fatguyfoodblog.storenvy.com/

Review by Rich!

Taco Bell Breakfast Menu part 2: Cinnabon Delights, Sausage Flatbread Melt, Burritos and more!

After trying the AM Crunchwrap and Waffle Taco, it was time to set my sights on some of the more standard breakfast items, or at least the stuff you'd expect from Taco Bell. On trip 2, I didn't even bother with a more standard sausage or bacon breakfast burrito- I went straight to steak. And it was surprisingly big for the fairly reasonable price tag of $2.89.

Burritos are tough to get great photos of, but I think this shot sums this rito up pretty nicely:

I was surprised it didn't have any potato, but it had a solid amount of egg and cheese, that delicious creamy jalapeno sauce, and a surprising amount of surprisingly decent steak. I clearly assumed this would be "steak," and I'd spend most of this review trying to figure out what meat it actually was. It certainly wasn't a $60 porterhouse, but it was pretty good. Surprisingly. 

I have to give this an A. The combo of thick steak, warm eggs, just enough cheese and that awesome sauce... This is what a breakfast burrito should be. Still could have used some potato or maybe a vegetable or 2, but this is simple and awesome.

After I got there at 10:40 on trip #2 and was told they were out of sausage because it was too late (that's funny, I thought breakfast went until 11...), I knew trip 3 would be a real sausage party. I really committed to this review this time and woke up early to get breakfast on my way to work (and take photos of it while driving- shhhhh don't tell Obama). I tried a sausage burrito, and while I was blown away by the amount of cheese and just how hot and gooey this thing was, I was disappointed. 

First off, only the steak rito comes with the jalapeno sauce- sausage and bacon are sauceless. Secondly, the sausage. I'm a bit of a sausage stickler. You give me one of those giant hot dog kielbasa things and I'll give it right back to you. Those stupid breakfast sticks? No thanks. I want a flat patty or nothing else. They don't have that gross hot dog snap or that frightening casing, they always end up having a more smokey flavor, they have a much more manageable amount of juice- they're just better. The sausage in this rito was the smaller, raccoon-shit-looking pebble type of sausage, and it honestly tasted kind of weird. I don't know what it was, but it didn't taste quite right. It was kind of like... buttery. The sheer amount of cheese and just how warm and melty this thing was nearly saved it, but the sausage hurt it. Sausage being the star makes this vehicle just not work quite the same as the steak rito. Gotta give you a C-.

Next up was the sausage version of the $1.00 AM Grilled Taco.

First off, this was way heavier and cooked more. And look at the sweet heavenly world inside. So... much.... cheese....

I guess when the Bell cooks things correctly, magical things happen. Unfortunately, the sausage turds made this only worthy of a C+. Everything was perfect about it, but those damn sausages. They just don't taste like sausage is supposed to taste. Give me the patty! I'll pay more!

The last regular food item to get (other than their coffee, which I'm not reviewing because 1. I don't drink coffee, and 2. I've never known of a food item that more people disagree about other than coffee, and this is Taco Bell coffee. I'm not going down that road) was the Sausage Flatbread Melt. 

This only cost a buck, and it appeared to be a sausage patty (YES!), wrapped in cheese and a flatbread tortilla. And yup, that's all it is.

completely stuck together

Although I wonder if this could be helped by some jalapeno sauce, or maybe some maple syrup dip action, this was simplicity at its finest. 3 ingredients jammed together, cooked and served for a buck. I was surprised at how awesome the softness of this flatbread was. I've always been a fan but was expecting a tortilla (cuz I apparently don't pay very good attention) or some crappy hard pita-esque flatbread. I was met with a super soft, near gooey, cheesy sausagey concoction. 

This is pretty simple and nothing to go crazy for, but for a buck, it's a fantastic addition to your meal. B+.

On my 4th trip, I finished the AM Crunchwrap Trifecta with the steak version. It was ok, but they didn't give me enough cheese or sauce. Or eggs. Oh wait... yea, that's zero eggs.

Man, Taco Bell (or at least the one at Four Corners in Woburn, Massachusetts) is about the most inconsistent fast food place ever. On 4 trips, I didn't get something I ordered, they burned the hell out of my hash brows, and they didn't include one of the ingredients in a menu item for no reason. Food was also either cool and boring or some of the hottest, most perfectly cooked fast food I've ever had. I'm gonna say that this would have been a B+ if they had actually included eggs. This one was more like a C. I think the sausage AM Crunchwrap was the best, while I'll take the steak in a burrito. 

Alright, time to finish this review and go back to bed. And just like Vanessa Williams, I saved the best for last: Cinnabon Delights. A partnership between 2 brands that is... well, delightful. 

Alright, so we all like Cinnabons. Sure, they're the devil, you should probably have 10 heart attacks after 5 bites, DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD FOR YOU THOSE ARE!??!! Yea yea, we've heard it all. It's also extremely difficult to get a perfect one, and they're hard to find (at least up here in the granite state wilderness). These, to me, don't taste that much like Cinnabons. And that's ok. But they took that kind-of-cream-cheesey-but-mostly-frosting frosting heaven that's all over Cinnabons and hid it inside these doughnut holes. 

Didn't hide it too well!

But that's not even the best part. You know when you go to a fair and you get those apple cider doughnuts that you order 6 of and eat in a minute and a half? The ones that they make on the spot, put on a roller thing to dry, then sprinkle heaven all over? Then they shake them in the bag so they're completely covered in cinnamon sugar and serve them to you piping hot? Wow, I wish I was at a fair right now. Seriously, why are they only in fall? Why can't I go to a restaurant and buy fried dough and apple cider doughnuts? It's LUNACY! Ok I'm done. Sorry. So you know why those doughnuts rule? It's not the soft warm dough inside. It's the crunchy exterior- how it's crisp but wet with grease. And the way that grease makes the cinnamon sugar stick to the doughnut and your fingers. You know, this: 

So these are balls of that filled with Cinnabon frosting. There's barely any dough, and what there is is either greasy and near the crisp outside, or soft and soaked through with Cinnabon frosting. Look at this one, it's like they accidentally gave me one they were planning on using for menu pictures: 

These things are perfect. Goddamn, what a creation. A+++

So to recap, other than the letdown of the Waffle Taco and a lot of inconsistency, Taco Bell's new breakfast menu is pretty awesome. Other than my 3rd visit crew, I certainly wouldn't trust the Taco Bell I went to, but I imagine once this goes worldwide, there are some serious customization possibilities. I know if I go back for a 5th time, I'll see if I can get that awesome jalapeno sauce on more stuff (I asked for extra packets and was told they don't exist, which I absolutely don't believe). I wonder if I could substitute a flatbread for a tortilla somewhere. I'll definitely order more than a 4 pack of Cinnabon Delights.

I imagine Taco Bell will get rid of some of these items, but they better keep the AM Crunchwrap and Delights. Probably burritos too. And that sausage flatbread melt. Ok, keep everything. What they need to do is make this menu last all day. I'd even settle for parts of it. I mean, I could write a 10 page essay on how ridiculous it is that things like doughnuts and cinnamon buns somehow ended up being breakfast items rather than desserts. Why are Cinnabon Delights not served at night!? It rhymes! As much of a slob as I am, this isn't really the way I want to start my day. It's how I want to end it.

And come on Taco Bell- your fanbase is drunk college kids, fat video game kids on hour 10 of COD binges, and stoners who are really hungry for some reason and need to buy 20 dollars worth of Taco Bell at 1 in the morning. 4th Meal! YOU CREATED A MEAL FOR THESE PEOPLE! Time to give us breakfast all day. I don't want to get up early for this stuff anymore. Let's make it happen.

So anyway, good job Taco Bell. 

If you don't have Taco Bell Breakfast near you yet, you will soon. I hope this has given you a nice sneak preview and you can now make more informed decisions once you're given the opportunity. Have a great day. 

-review by Mike

Taco Bell Breakfast Menu Part 1: The A.M. Crunchwrap, Waffle Taco and more!

A few months ago, word spread like wildfire among the internets when Taco Bell announced it would soon be serving breakfast. I checked our local TB and found out that they wouldn't be carrying breakfast until June- only test markets would have it until then. THE FURY! SORRY NEW HAMPSHIRE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, TACO BELL!

But luckily, I stay in Mass sometimes and the Bell near me had a nice shiny sign on their window advertising some badass breakfast. Truthfully, I've never been a breakfast guy- in fact, I probably eat breakfast 3 times a year. Even though I wake up at 7/730 every day for work, I don't even start to feel hungry until 11. I never want food in the morning. I also don't like waking up early on my days off. Yes, I'm an adult and should be getting up early and making the most of the day, but nope. It's my day off and I want to sleep in. 

I should also mention that I've probably eaten Taco Bell 4 times in my life. I've never really liked Mexican food and only in the last year realized how delicious burritos are if you get them without those damn beans (which is probably true of a lot of Mexican food). Plus, Taco Bell doesn't really have a reputation for great food. So here I was, taking on the duty of getting up early and force feeding myself Taco Bell. Would it be worth it???

Attempt 1 involved me getting up at 10:30, then realizing I never looked to see what time breakfast went until. Yup, it goes till 11. Ok, so let's try again! The next week, I got up at 10 and crawled my way out of the house. I looked awake and ready to go:

I was HORRIFIED at how many items there were. 

13 total new items!

I only knew about the AM Crunchwrap I'd seen advertised with those Ronald McDonald commercials. I figured they'd have a few other items, but 13 possibilities?? Daaaamn.

By the way, that commercial- seriously? There are that many asshole parents in the world who named their kid RONALD MCDONALD? Why would you ever do that to your child? Mcdonalds is like the 2nd most recognized brand in the world. EVERYONE knows who Ronald Mcdonald is. I feel sorry for those kids.

ANYWAY. I ordered a good chunk of the menu in an attempt to cover the most important stuff first, then realized I'd have to do this again. There was simply too much to get. 

So, now that I've gone to Taco Bell for breakfast 4 times, I've tried nearly everything, or at least what was most important (they have bacon and sausage versions of pretty much everything). So let's get to reviewing. 

First up, Taco Bell's first big breakfast creation: The A.M. CRUNCHWRAP:

very artistic fold

This thing had some weight to it and I didn't mind the size of it, but boy did these look a lot bigger in the commercials.

Hey Ronald, aren't you embarrassed by your tiny hands?

like a tiny-handed deer in headlights!

This thing was pretty much the size of my hand. Time to bite in.

I went with sausage, as I find fast food places rarely get bacon right, and I think sausage works better in stuff like this. So, an AM Crunchwrap is a hash brown, sausage (or bacon), scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, and a creamy jalapeno sauce (the one Taco Bell uses in other stuff) all stacked nicely inside this artfully constructed tortilla case.

And it was actually very awesome. The eggs were pretty tasteless (let's be fair- they always are- people just use them to put sauce or cheese on), but the sausage was the good patty kind and was juicy and delicious, there was a good amount of cheese, and the jalapeno sauce was fantastic. In fact, it was what made this so awesome. I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to breakfast stuff (I put nothing on my eggs other than cheese, salt and pepper and maybe crumbled bacon), but the just-enough spice of this sauce gave this what it needed while making it less dry. It really helped this sandwich. My only problem was the hash brown, which was cooked too much and made this overly crunchy.

I got another one on trip #2, this time with bacon. 

The sausage was better, but they got the hash brown right this time, and solidified what I already knew- that when made correctly, this was something worth getting up early for. 

I'd recommend the sausage or steak (haven't actually had the steak version yet) though, as the bacon is the crumbled, bacon-bits variety that I don't think really tastes like bacon. I mean, obviously it does, but it's more of a ham flavor than the greasy, salty goodness that comes from perfectly cooked strips of bacon. Get those in this thing and we'll talk. Until then, make mine sausage.

they certainly put a lot of bacon

Rating: A (as long as they don't burn the hash brown)

Next up was a dollar menu item, the AM Grilled Taco. It looked about right for a dollar item.

Ok, maybe not.

I went with bacon on this one too, and yea, I'd skip this one. What you get for a dollar is pretty damn good, but still, it's just eggs, (too much) bacon (only too much because it's not very good bacon) and cheese, sandwiched by a soft tortilla that's grilled to melt everything together. 

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really anything worth getting excited about. I even tried to un-blah it by dipping it in maple syrup.

But it was still pretty blah. 

Not bad, but not really worth getting. I guess that means it gets a C-.

Next up, another dollar menu item- the always exciting hash brown.

I didn't have ketchup, but at least that means I tasted this for exactly what it was. Unfortunately, they cooked mine way too much again. Look at the crunch!

Which may excite you until you realize how thin that makes the hash brown. 

This was a crumbling mess that I didn't even finish. But they clearly can make good ones (as evidenced by my revisiting of the AM Crunchwrap), but either way, a hash brown is mostly just that- a hash brown. Did Taco Bell make a good one? Yea, as long as they cook them correctly. But still, I'm not sure I'd ever get one on its own. This is just kind of a prerequisite for a breakfast menu, and a very necessary part of the AM Crunchwrap. Get one in there or get a side if you really want one, but they're pretty standard. 

B-.

Lastly, the other big item I was excited to try- the Taco Bell Waffle Taco.

Well, no, Taco Bell, unless I hold the empty box in people's faces when I'm eating this, I'm ABOUT to eat a waffle taco, and since I'm the only one looking at the box, you can't really tell me I'm not going to eat it!

I appreciate the hell out of Taco Bell for trying this out. I'm sure they took inspiration from their BFF KFC (who created the Doubledown) for this one. It's sausage or bacon, and cheese (tons) in a "taco" made of waffle, with a side of maple syrup. Alright, now things are getting interesting.

more like a shell than a taco

Sadly though, that's where the interesting ended. There was lots of cheese, a good amount of eggs, and that awesome sausage patty again. Where could they go wrong? Sadly, the most important part- the waffle. 

Everyone loves waffles if they're cooked correctly. They end up being crisp on the outside and soft on the inside. This was dry and spongy the way only terrible pancakes can be. It was just annoying bread that was sort of like a waffle, but oddly more like a bad pancake. Even dipped in maple syrup, it was just a major bummer of an item- a real gutterball of a creation.

It just falls apart and doesn't really work. I like waffles and sausage in maple syrup, but eggs and cheese in syrup are weird. Maybe if the waffle was better, I wouldn't even think about the eggs and cheese, but I found myself trying to find ways to like this when it just wasn't good.

Taco Bell: Don't make a waffle taco and have the waffle be the worst part of it. 

Thanks for trying, but I have to give this hard-to-eat-without-it-falling-apart mess of an insult to waffles an F. Maybe the professional chefs at Taco Bell were having an off day (not only did they burn the hash brows, but I paid for Cinnabon Bites, and they were nowhere to be found in my bag!), but I can't imagine these waffles would be much different on a different day. It's cheap and a fun idea, but it just wasn't good.

But that AM Crunchwrap... that's enough to keep me going back. 

Stay tuned for part 2, featuring the Sausage Flatbread Melt, breakfast burritos, and Cinnabon Delights!

-review by Mike

New Doritos Jacked Test Flavors: 404, 855, 2653

Dear Doritos,

We all love trying new flavors of chips. In fact, this blog exists solely because of how much we like trying new flavors of things. But come on. For real. You're really gonna put out 3 new "test" flavors at the same time and put each in giant $2.50 bags (on sale) so I have to pay $7.50 to try 3 flavors that you're probably never gonna make again? I mean, we're all adults here. Let's be honest with each other. There's no way you're gonna make any of these. Have you ever made a test flavor into a legit, regular flavor? Yea, I didn't think so. You just want that quick $7.50 in curiosity money, then after a few weeks, these chips will disappear from the shelves forever, lasting only on food blogs and in the memories of people who had extra cash and hate money enough to try gimmick chips. If you were cool, you'd put 3 small bags of these in 1 big bag for $2.50 and you'd call them "3 Random Flavors We'll Never Make Again." But nope. You're not cool. You think Canada is the only country deserving of your long-forgotten-in-the-US BBQ or the absolutely fantastic Jalapeno Cheddar chips, and you'd rather get publicity in the US for making up random flavors than giving people what they want. And here I am, giving you that very publicity. Eat my shorts.

Sincerely, Mike

So anyway, as a food explorer and member of this almighty blog- bitterness aside, I had to try these chips. You probably shouldn't. Let's do it!

Test Flavor 404:

The smell of these kind of reminds me of the All Dressed chips Humpty Dumpty makes and Ruffles only has in Canada- that tangy, somewhat sour vinegary smell.

They're orangey brown, and they don't look appetizing.

they're also the size of my hand

These change flavor a lot. Initially, they taste like an oniony vinegar, then they kind of taste like what I imagine dry cat food tastes like, then they have an almost sweet tomato hint to them, then they taste like cardboard, then they taste kind of spicy, but not BBQ-hot spicy- instead, it's that chemical-like, almost wasabi-like sour spice. I honestly don't know what the hell I'm eating. Looking at the ingredients list, I see brown sugar, onion powder, garlic powder, lime juice solids (how is a juice solid?!) and orange juice solids. So these are onion and garlic brown sugar lime orange juice chips? Oh cool. Just what I've always wanted. I read somewhere that these may be an attempt at some sort of sweet onion Doritos, but although I'm no food scientist, I'm pretty sure sweet onion doesn't involve lime and orange juice. The more I type and the more I unfortunately eat, I'm noticing how strong the lime sting is at the end of these. Ughk.

the face of happiness

These suck, but at least you made my job easier, Doritos. F For Four 0 Four error.

------------------------------------------------------------

Stupid Test Flavor 855:

As expected, the bag is red for a reason. The chips are so red, they practically glow.

not shopped

Biting into these gigantic chips, and... BIG SHOCK! They're hot!

I'm not sure what these are supposed to be other than hot. As Doritos has put out just short of a billion flavors of chips that are hot, I think the only thing that might be different about these is a slight cheesy sour cream flavor I got at the beginning of my chewing journey. I almost think cream cheese, but sour cream is listed as an ingredient (along with everything hot you can think of). So maybe these are hot sauce and sour cream? Honestly, not a bad flavor idea, but in typical Doritos fashion, they're too hot to really enjoy unless you're one of those people who likes hot stuff enough that all your taste buds are melted off. These are the only ones I could see lasting of the 3, but the weird almost-too-creamy initial taste and some sort of milky aftertaste is pretty weird.

real mouth-too-hot drool

I'll give these a C, but only if you like hot chips. These create quite the burn after a few chips. For anyone else, steer clear.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Bullshit Test Flavor 2653:

First off, am I supposed to believe that this is the 2,653rd flavor Doritos has created? Come on.

These bother me. They look wrong, and honestly, they smell like Irwin. Chips shouldn't smell like dogs.

WEEZ CHIPS

Check out the up close:

Right away, I taste chocolate, then maybe... maple? Apparently Doritos is trying out some sort of a dessert corn chip? I'm trying to not throw up.

so confused right now

I could see some (weird) people liking these, but their smell and the confusion of bad corn chips mixed with chocolate and other weird ingredients is honestly bothering me a little bit. Also, I ate these after the other ones, but I swear I'm getting a spice from these too. Spicy chocolate? COME ON.

Looking at the ingredients, a few stand out: brown sugar, chocolate liquor, cocoa powder, skim milk (!?), garlic and onion powder again, paprika, chipotle chilli flavor (?!) and "bacon type flavor and natural smoke flavor." Soooooo... yea. Chocolate and sweet stuff mixed with bacon flavor, garlic, onion, paprika and chipotle. Now that I know those ingredients, these should actually be WAY worse than they are. I had a hard time eating many of these- the initial milky chocolate rush is almost not entirely disgusting, but the over-the-top corn crunch and the absolutely atrocious milky-while-spicy aftertaste is horrifying. I feel sick even describing these.

F.

I should fully disclose that I don't like Doritos Jacked chips very much. I tend to like thinner chips that can get nice and greasy and I can eat 4-10 of at a time. Even if I want a nice thick potato chip like Ruffles, I'm only gonna buy brands where the flavor sprinkled on the chips overrides the potato/corn flavor. Doritos Jacked is both more flavor (and honestly too much in most cases), and WAY more chip. The chips are just too big and too thick. I don't know anyone who eats chips and says "MAN, I WISH THESE WERE HARDER TO EAT!"
But even still, I've mostly enjoyed some of them. These, other than the hot ones, are pretty hard to like. If you can find the blue ones in a 99 cent bag, you should get them just for the experience of confusing your mouth. Otherwise, stay away.
They do have a contest though- go to boldflavorexperiment.com and vote on the one that doesn't make you throw up. You can win big money dollahs. I wish it was a contest to name them, cuz I already have a few ideas:

-review by Mike