We here at Fat Guy Food Blog venture into many a culinary world in our travels. I heard recently that humanity may all be the same soul, living out separate lives, experiencing countless things, and since time is not linear, we're all experiencing the world all at once, all one big entity writhing on top of one another for some mysterious, divine end. I'm not sure if I buy that, but I do believe in trying new things. That brings us here to The Green Elephant in Portsmouth, NH.
photo cred: portlandphoenix.me
I'm an idiot blogger and didn't even get a facade shot!
Thai inspired vegetarian food, located in the newly renovated downtown. I was somewhat excited to try this place. A few friends of mine exclaimed how good it was. As life long vegan and vegetarians, I figured their broccoli and wheat grass stained taste buds couldn't tell a grown man what was good and what wasn't! So I hit the bricks with the lady in tow, and ventured out to see what was so good about The Green Elephant.
Looking at the small menu, I was somewhat relieved. A typical Thai (or Thai inspired) place has menus as long as my leg, so going about and finding something was relatively easy.
We settled on an appetizer of Hot & Spicy Soy Sticks in a garlic chili cilantro sauce. Now, imagine my shock when this got sat down onto my table.
oh, 2...how convenient.
These have to be insanely good for them to be able to justify only having 2 correct? Well to answer that question, they were... pretty good. These little soy fake meats on a stick were prepped so well you'd swear they were just sliced off a weird exotic animal. The sauce was spicy, and delivered that sour sweetness you'd come to expect with anything labeled "Hot & Sour". It had a delicious, almost reminiscent of baked chicken skin, outer wonton type, casing.
The bamboo "bone" in the middle tricked my carnivorous brain into thinking I was eating animal flesh, and didn't once make me wish it was anything other than what it was.
The appetizer was good, but I'm still sitting their unfulfilled, and that's what appetizers are supposed to do, whet your appetite, and prime your body for proper ingestion of the main course. So I went with their style of Pad Thai. Something I'm familiar with at other places, of course it'll be good right?
You can also ask for your own level of spiciness, and me, not wanting my whole meal ruined if they went too heavy with the spice, went for a 3 out of 5.
The Pad Thai went as expected. Large portion, ingredients fresh and separate, not a stew of Pad Thai in peanut sauce like I'm used to. The peanut sauce was not as sweet as I would prefer, and I 100% regret not upping the spice level. The 3 was definitely pretty weak. The Rice noodles were cooked perfectly. Not the best Pad Thai I'd ever had, but not the worst either.
After I finished my bowl of food, there was something definitely missing. I didn't feel insanely full or heavy by the amount of food that was delivered to my table, which I SUPPOSE is a good sign.
still hungry, I eyed the ladies Thai Ginger Noodles
In the end, The Green Elephant wasn't anything phenomenal. The price tag was high, even for food that is served and prepared this fresh. I'm glad a decent vegetarian option is out there for my friends, but I hope they don't alienate themselves from regular folk by having higher prices than a standard Thai place, which do offer similar things, but maybe not as "healthy". I'd go back if they had a cheaper brunch option or something of that sort.
I give the Green Elephant a C-
It's nice, clean, fresh, and decent food. But nothing I tried really stood out as incredible. Slightly pricey if you're looking for a nice dinner, extremely expensive for a quick lunch. More of a place you'd go to impress a date, but not really go because you dig it. I would have bumped them up a full letter grade if they gave you more than 2 Hot and Sour Soy Sticks. That's just ridiculous.
-Josh
Throughout the meal sitting there, out of the corner of my eye, my inner
fat guy just kept stealing glances out of the window, perhaps wishing he
was another one of his past life soul tentacles, biting into something infinitely more delicious.
Do you have any ideas for things we can review? Are you a company who
wants us to try your stuff? Do you represent a company that might want
to sponsor one of our posts? Are you a fly ass broad who wants to tell
us we're never wrong? WELL DROP US A LINE! Here's where you can reach
us:
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The Holiday season has begun to descend on the snack world like a winged beast blocking out the sun. Every store has begun filling a large percentage of their floorspace with holiday cheer. Red, white and green shiny crap that we all buy up like lunatics because we all get caught up in the manic insanity that is December each year. The upside to all this? Well, aside from presents and making great memories with friends and family, is it's a great time for new versions of classic candy! Much like these here...HERSHEY KISSES DELUXE!
Yes, I found these quickly walking through a holiday aisle. Trying not to actually let my brain register that I was surrounded by Christmas stuff. I was just scanning for something new and suddenly these jumped out to me in all their golden glory. So what's the deal with them? Well, first off, they are GIANT.
At least twice the size of a regular Hershey Kiss. These boast that they are "Smooth milk chocolate with delicate crisps and a whole roasted hazelnut center." You know what that sounds like to me? Ol' Hersheys wants their own version of Ferrero Rocher chocolates! Haven't had them? Look them up. They are damn delicious and something I get every Christmas morning from my Mom, and have for years. They are so good that I worry that if I ever had a never ending supply of them, that I would die from eating them. That's a serious concern. So now that we know what they are up to, does the Hershey Kiss Deluxe live up to this?
Yeah! They are different, but they are quite delicious. Picture this: a giant Hershey Kiss that has little crispies all through it, and in the middle is a big crunchy hazelnut that gives a satisfying pop as you chomp into it. The chocolate is smooth and tasty, and it almost bursts with flavor as you chew up the pieces of hazelnut and the little chunks of crisp rice. A wonderful golden wrapped holiday treat.
I'm not sure if these are limited edition or not, but to be on the safe side, you should definitely scoop some of them up. They come in packs of four, but are also available in big gift boxes that have a ton more. A perfect stocking stuffer for that chocolate lover on your holiday shopping list. Or, hell, buy a bunch and put them in a candy dish like you would normal Kisses, just to weird out your guests.
I'm giving Hershey Kisses Deluxe a solid B rating. They are clearly trying to be Ferrero Rochers, and they don't quite get there, but they are still pretty damn awesome.
Do you have any ideas for things we can review? Are you a company who wants us to try your stuff? Do you represent a company that might want to sponsor one of our posts? Are you a fly ass broad who wants to tell us we're never wrong? WELL DROP US A LINE! Here's where you can reach us:
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We recently got a couple of emails from readers wanting us to review the new Knockout Tacos from Qdoba. So with our endless list of high up contacts in the world of food, we managed to get directly in touch with them and asked if they might have some more information they could send along about the Knockout Tacos. A couple days later I get the best package that we've ever gotten from a company in the mail. Why? BECAUSE IT WAS FILLED WITH INSANE STUFF!
Not only did I get my very own taco stand, a Knockout Taco spinner, a hammer, and a rubber chicken, but also? TEQUILA. Can't go wrong there. There's one other awesome item that came in this box, but I'll save it for the end of the review. Keep your eyes peeled.
But now it's time to put on my referee shirt once again, to call the six way match between these competitors. Get ready, ladies and gents, FOR THE Qdoba KNOCKOUT TACOS Battle Royal!
Rolled up to my local Qdoba a little bit after they opened, flashed my Fatguyfoodblog credentials so they knew I meant business, and ordered all six Knockout Tacos, a side of chips and queso and a fountain beverage so I can wash it all down. Being the referee for this intense a match up is tough work, you gotta stay hydrated...
After dunking a few chips into the cheesy goodness of the queso, it was time to spin the damn wheel!
MAD RANCHER IT IS!
THE MAD RANCHER!
The Mad Rancher is grilled chicken, bacon, guacamole, picante ranch, lettuce, pico de gallo, and cotija cheese. But...as you can see, it just looks like a pile of lettuce. Automatically, no matter how good this one is, I'm taking points away. Because no taco, sandwich, burger, or even salad needs this much lettuce. It's out of control. The flavor wasn't bad, once I took an hour and a half to dig the lettuce off. The chicken had a great flavor and the picante ranch and pico together made for a nice tangy taste. I'm not sure I even tasted one piece of bacon on here so it might as well not even be listed. Not bad, but the chances of the Mad Rancher winning this bout are kinda slim...
THE TRIPLE THREAT!
Up next is the The Triple Threat! This taco has grilled steak, bacon, 3-cheese queso, fajita veggies, pico de gallo, and cotija cheese. This one was a fun medley of flavors. The steak is okay, but the main thing that pops out is the fajita veggies. This one was pretty much dominated by the flavor of the peppers and onions. I think the queso is a neat addition that leaves a nice creamy cheese aftertaste too. Triple Threat beats out the Mad Rancher with ease! One quick side note, cotija cheese? Never had it before this week. Qdoba LOVES this stuff. You can tell because it's on nearly every one of these. It's kind of an intense flavor too that when you taste it alone, you think it might be too much. But it ends up taking a back seat to the other taco flavors, luckily. Let's move on!
THE GLADIATOR!
The Gladiator! By name alone this one should be the winner. On the Gladiator you get grilled steak, bacon, pico de gallo, lettuce, Caesar dressing, cilantro and cotija cheese. The Gladiator definitely delivered in the bacon department, unlike the Mad Rancher. This one had a very unique flavor from the rest. The Caesar dressing stood out big time and took center stage. It was almost like a steak and bacon Caesar wrap. Can't go wrong with that at all. The Gladiator did a great job of entertaining my taste buds and is a definite contender to win this slobberknocker.
Next contender to step into the ring? THE DRUNKEN YARDBIRD!
The DRUNKEN YARDBIRD!
The Drunken Yardbird is tequila lime chicken, guacamole, salsa verde, cilantro, minced onion and cotija cheese. This one had a very tangy flavor throughout. I think it was a combination of the flavoring from the chicken and the salsa verde together. It was heavy on the cilantro too, but overall decent. The guac really shined through on this one too, and for guac fans, just so you know, theirs is not a chunky guac,(which I usually prefer) but it was still great. But does the Drunken Yardbird have what it takes to beat five other taco competitors? Doubtful.
THE TWO-TIMER!
Suddenly the lights go down. Heavy entrance music begins and through the curtain comes the Two-Timer! He slaps the awaiting hands of fans on the way to the ring and poses on the top of the turnbuckle. The Two Timer is pulled pork, salsa roja, shredded cheese, lettuce, and pico de gallo in a crispy taco with cotija cheese...wrapped in a flour tortilla spread with 3-cheese Queso. Let me tell you this. The Two Timer entering into this match was kind of like that time Stone Cold Steve Austin handed out stunners to an entire ring full of wrestlers at once...
BY GOD IT'S THE TWO TIMER!
The Two-Timer does not mess around. It's clearly playing off an old Taco Bell creation but who cares because this one is made with premium ingredients and tastes incredible. The pulled pork is so tender it will bring a tear to your eye. It bursts with flavor. And then the two hit combo of the crispy and flour shells being held together with cheese queso? Forget it. Here's your true Knockout Taco right here. The Two-Timer is a clear contender and very possibly the winner...but let's not count out the final contestant here...
THE BOHEMIAN VEGGIE!
The Bohemian Veggie! This one has shredded cheese, black beans, corn salsa, guacamole, salsa verde, minced onions, cilantro and cotija cheese. It's basically all the stuff that isn't meat from the other knockout tacos tossed into one. It tastes very fresh because of the fresh veggies and salsa, but it's also like biting into a water balloon. There's so much liquid from the veggies and all the different salsas that it tries it's best to explode all over you the second you try to eat it. Eating this was like taking a bite of a really good taco and then realizing that you didn't get any of the main part of it, so you peek back inside to see where you went wrong. Good flavor, and if you're a vegetarian and enjoy plentiful black beans, you just might like this.
COULD THIS POSSIBLY BE OUR WINNER?
HAHAHAH. You think Fatguyfoodblog is going to crown a veggie taco the winner? NOT WHILE I AM CALLING THIS MATCH! The Bohemian Veggie gets disqualified for being too damn wimpy. There's a clear winner here and it's the Two-Timer. He single handily took out five other taco competitors with ease and pinned them all, 1-2-3. I proudly declare the Two-Timer the winner of the Qdoba Knockout Tacos Battle Royal!
For more info on this promotion or other great food items from Qdoba, check out their website: https://www.qdoba.com/
Thanks for reading folks. If you need me, I'll be practicing my hurricanranas and moonsaults in my back yard. Hoping to debut in Chaotic Wrestling this summer.
As always, if you have something you think we should check out, drop us a line! If you just think we rock and want to tell us, we'd love to hear it! If you're a company and you'd like to send us some stuff to sample, hit us up! We can be reached in many ways. HERE THEY ARE:
EMAIL: fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com
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TWITTER: @fatguyfoodblog
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