Watermelon Oreo cookies!

THE ADVENTURES OF THE FATGUYOREOBLOG CONTINUE! 

Yep, so a couple weeks ago people started emailing and messaging us to review the newest flavor of Oreo's. Within hours we had dozens of requests, and people let us know we could only find them at Target. We began our search. Our local Target finally caught up with the rest of the world the other day so I scored a couple bags. Ladies & Gents, I give you, The Limited Edition Watermelon Oreo cookies! 

Mike creeping, clearly interested in these strange cookies...

So...the big question is... what did these taste like? The answer is quite simple. They tasted like this:

Or maybe it was closer to this:

Despite not having chewed a piece of Watermelon Hubba Bubba since I was probably 8 years old, it was immediately the first thing I thought of when I popped one of these cookies in my mouth. I had Mike sample one and he said it was more like a Watermelon Jolly Rancher. I could see that too. But either way, it's cookie that reminds you of a fake flavored candy. Its going to be weird, there's no way around it.

They are colorful, I'll give them that...

I'm glad they went the Golden Oreo route with the actual cookie for these, I think chocolate cookies would have been a massive mistake. The Golden Oreo cookie I think goes with the watermelon creme much better than chocolate would have. As it stands, they are just...weird. The crunch of the cookie goes together with the watermelon creme in a strange way, that makes me feel no matter what flavored creme goes between them, I could never completely hate a limited edition Golden Oreo. I think if you like the Sherbet Oreo's you'll probably enjoy these ones a lot. Not only do they resemble them in color but the flavor was kind of similar too. 

That being said, I wasn't a huge fan of these. It's just a strange flavor that I don't think really belongs in the realm of cookies. You want it in your bubble gum? You want it in your hard candy? You want to get a slush from Sonic with watermelon flavor in it, knock yourself out. But when it comes to cookies, maybe when this limited edition vanishes from shelves, it should stay gone.
All in all I didn't hate Watermelon Oreo's but if they never return, my heart won't be broken.

I give Watermelon Oreo's a C-!

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Review by Rich! 

Dunkin' Donuts Part 2: New Chicken Sandwiches: BBQ and Bacon Ranch!

.....aaaaaand part 2 of Hey-Dunkin-Donuts-actually-has-new-stuff week!

This time, I tried both of their new chicken sandwiches, BBQ and Bacon Ranch. 

I ordered the Bacon Ranch on one day, and it looked about like what I thought it would, although they were out of the white cheddar that's supposed to go on it. I got AMURICAN:

Upon dissection, I saw that the chicken looked pretty solid, and they hadn't skimped on the bacon, even though their placement wasn't entirely feng shui and left something to be desired.

BUT, It still looked good. I decided to check out the other side. 

Ouch. 

Seriously Dunks, should you even be allowed to list ranch as an ingredient in this? This looks like someone just dropped the top roll on the floor and there just happened to be half a packet of ranch still there from when someone spilled it a week ago. Should have been called a diet bacon ranch chicken sandwich. 

DIP CITY

But after fixing the problem (always have ranch on hand- ALWAYS), this was pretty good. It wasn't anything amazing though, for a few reasons. First, there was an odd spice to it- not hot, just like someone got excited when making the recipe and thought paprika would be fun to include in the recipe (it's not paprika, that was just the first spice I thought of that would be bad). Secondly, there needed to be more ranch (duh). Third, there needed to be more cheese. And fourth, the biggest one- there needed to be less bread. This bread is good with a slight crunch on the outside and a soft flavorful inside, but there's just entirely too much of it. There shouldn't be more bread than filling, especially in this case. I generally enjoyed this sandwich, but I was also very hungry and can be swayed easily when something is dipped in ranch. Without my extra ranch, it ended up seeming mostly like a chicken and bread sandwich with a little bit of bacon. And that gets you a C-

I wasn't planning on getting the BBQ one, but I decided I had to step up and try both, so I went back the next day. It was a little beat up, but the roll was nicely toasted and I could already see that the white cheddar was going to make quite a difference.

How was the BBQ coverage?

Am I crazy? Do normal people want just a hint of sauce on their food? "Hey, when you make my sandwich, I want just a DOT of sauce. Don't worry, I'll spread it around. No, no, that's too much. I want to have to really struggle to taste it. No, that's too much. Yes, I know it's called a BBQ chicken sandwich, but can't the BBQ sauce just be assumed or something? I really don't want to taste it too much."

What truly sucks is that most people who buy these sandwiches will get them on the road and not have the ability to have a dip puddle like I had since I was eating it at home. I feel bad for those people. Or who knows, maybe this is the correct amount and I'm a LUNATIC for actually wanting sauce on my sandwiches. Am I crazy?

After making a solid puddle and smushing down the 2 inches of bread, this was more enjoyable. The cheddar was waaay better than the american on the other sandwich- better to the point that if they don't have the cheddar, pass on the sandwich. The sauce (although barely there) was very good- very tangy and sweet. And the chicken tasted and felt like real chicken. BUT, that weird off-spice from the other sandwich was there again. I had thought it might be the ranch before, but it definitely is something in the spice on the chicken. Oh well, it's weird but it doesn't really ruin the sandwich, so whatever. 

Still though, I can't give this anything better than a C either. And I'll up the other sandwich to a C since I know it would have been better with cheddar cheese. 

What they should have done is combined these. There are few sauces better than a mix of ranch and BBQ together. And this sandwich should have 2 pieces of cheese. AND, seriously, a BBQ chicken sandwich with no bacon? Come on. 

So if I ever try to get one of these again, even though they each cost 4 bucks (ouch), I'm gonna be THAT guy: "Can I get a Bacon Ranch chicken sandwich with 2 pieces of cheese and BBQ sauce on one side and ranch on the other? Oh, and extra on both? Thanks. Actually, make it 3 pieces of cheese."

-----------------------------

I also did as promised in the last post- got a donut sandwich with cheese. And yup, it's way better. Mine suffered a bit by getting too cold (I ate the BBQ chicken sandwich first), but it was CLEARLY better with cheese. I was able to taste it when I wanted to, and ignore it when I wanted to taste donut or bacon more. Why they don't have cheese on these normally is a mystery for the ages. Perhaps the person who said not to put cheese on this was the same person who decided how much sauce should be on the chicken sandwiches... It's all becoming clear...

The short version:

Bacon Ranch Chicken Sandwich: Tasty but order extra ranch and prepare to still feel a bit underwhelmed. This should have been better, but it's still not bad, especially for a company that doesn't normally make chicken sandwiches. C.

BBQ Chicken Sandwiches: Pretty much the same. OK but needs more sauce, more cheese, and bacon. C

Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich: Should have cheese. Better with cheese. Order with cheese. Still probably a B+, maybe an A-.

-review by Mike

Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich & Hot Chocolate Coolatta

Even though most of the US probably assumes everyone in the northeast goes to Dunkin' Donuts every 20 minutes (and maybe they even think we dunk our donuts in coffee?), that's not entirely true- and certainly not for me. As a non-coffee drinker who is still bitter about Dunks (yea, most people don't call them Dunkin' Donuts either) getting rid of their flatbread sandwiches (which may have been my favorite breakfast sandwich ever), they're not exactly on my radar. But after several people who don't know we have a mental radar that alerts us of when things like this exist texted us with a picture of this beauty, it was time for me to drive 1 and a half miles in any direction to my nearest Dunks. 

A breakfast sandwich with donuts as the bread. Damn. 

To be fair, this has been done before, and we've even done this with cheeseburgers, but it's pretty cool for a huge company like Dunkin' Donuts to fulfill the dreams of everyone wearing size XL or larger. After I pulled up to the drive-thru and was asked what I wanted within 1 second, I told the worker to give me a second. After repeating this again, I asked them if they had "that donut sandwich," since either I'm officially too old to understand drive-thru menus or they really are getting harder and harder to find anything on. She said "um.. hold on a second- let me make sure we have the donuts for it." This surprised me as they always have enough donuts to feed a small country. Are there specific donuts just for this sandwich? Maybe she just meant pre-cut ones? Not sure, and I may never know since I'm too lazy to try and find out. All I cared about was that I did get one, and I was excited. 

Unwrapping it, it looked pretty much like I expected it to.

where are my 3 hashbrowns?

Notice the difference between reality and the ad? Yea, when you have to wrap a glazed donut, it gets a little messy. I guess I should have gone to one of the other Dunks, you know, the ones where THEY SERVE SANDWICHES TO YOU ON PLATES.

I opened it up to investigate, and I was happy and sad at the same time. I was happy to see that this appeared to be a real cut-in-half donut, and the bacon, although messily served, looked like real (and good) bacon. However, I was sad to see that Dunks is still selling the weird egg patty things that don't resemble any type of food on earth.

After re-assembling the sandwich for maximum bacon coverage,

I promptly destroyed it.

It was good- the bacon was crisp and flavorful, the egg did its job as filler (it was there enough that I tasted it but it didn't overwhelm), and the donut was insanely sweet. It also had a bit of the grease you get from a heated up donut, even though I think the only heat it got was from the egg patty. It all worked together pretty well, but it lacked a bit of the revelatory spark I was hoping for- it tastes exactly like what you'd imagine a donut with bacon and egg on it from Dunkin' Donuts would taste like. 

One problem though- I expected cheese, and I feel like it would be much better with cheese. Maybe cheese and glazed donut didn't test well? I do know this- I want there to be cheese, and I will order another one of these with cheese to see who is right in this relationship. Stay tuned...

as it is, I'll give it a B+

-------------------------------------

While there, I decided it was finally time to try a Hot Chocolate Coolatta. I've always been a fan of Coolattas (ever mix flavors? you should), and missed this the last time it was out. Not only that, but I've recently realized how much I like the cocoa flavor of chocolate. Dairy Queen has a chocolate extreme blizzard with cocoa powder-flavored soft serve instead of their normal chocolate soft serve, and let me tell you, it is EXTRAORDINARY. So I was assuming this would taste like that, in Coolatta form. I was psyched. 

couldn't give me a hot chocolate coolatta cup? pbbbttt

This was good, but it didn't taste like hot chocolate, at least none I've ever had. Instead, it tasted like chocolate milk. In fact, it tasted EXACTLY like Hershey's chocolate milk, the kind I grew up on and my mom had to limit how often I was allowed to have. Is this evidence of Hershey's syrup?

This was good, but they should call it a Hershey's Chocolate Milk Coolatta. Even if they aren't using Hershey's, it's the exact same flavor. It was good, but a bit of a let down. I wanted it to taste like, you know, that stuff they said it's supposed to taste like. Also, it was actually almost too sweet, like those times as a youngin where I got excited and just kept squeezing syrup into the bottom of my cup until I had 2 inches of syrup in a 8 inch glass and it was unbearably chocolate-syrupy. 

BOTTOM LINE:

Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich: Very good, but lacking something special to give it an A. B+ as it is, and stay tuned for part 2 of this post to see if it's any better with cheese. 

Hot Chocolate Coolatta: Tasty but actually too sweet. I give it a D for its claim that it's hot chocolate flavored, but a B- if it were just called a Chocolate Coolatta. So I guess that means it gets a C.

-review by Mike

Pepperidge Farm Dessert Shop: 4 Way Dance

Chances are if you're glancing towards the cookie aisle, these bright red packages shined in your eyes harder than Rudolph's lighted nose does in a truckers tired eyes on a blustery Christmas eve blizzard. If you didn't swerve your cart into the aisle wall, good. You're already better off than your cookie seeking compatriots.
 After years and years of what seems like the same old cookie being peddled by the cookie king, Pepperidge Farms decided to try out something crazy and bring us more than a handful of new cookie flavors. I know there's a few more, but I felt fat enough grabbing 4 of these off of a shelf. So let's dig in and see what this so called "Dessert Shop" has to offer!

First up to be sacrificed to my mouth god is:

Strawberry Cheesecake

So when you open the bag, a huge strawberry aroma bloom fills your nostrils and you nod to yourself "these are going to be delicious", and you'd be right, if there was more of strawberry flavor. The cookie is extremely moist and breaks into your mouth without a fight. There's an odd flavor in the background, which I'm assuming is cheesecake, but the strawberry is faint enough to deliver a pleasant, and not overpowering strawberry smoothness. The cookie is all around just good, not great, not living up to the scent promise it made to you moments ago, but pretty damn tasty. I just wished they dialed the strawberry flavor to 7 instead of 4.

Carrot Cake

I should have let Mike review the Carrot Cake cookie. He's a much bigger CC fan than I am and may have been more excited for this offering. What I find amusing about this cookie, is that I can't place any distinct flavor within it. Yeah, I kind of get Carrot Cake, but I'm also not very sure. It's moist like the Strawberry Cheesecake one, but delivers an odd spice behind it, which I know I've tasted in Carrot Cake, but just because there's that spice that resembles carrot cake, doesn't mean the whole cookie does. There's also some weird texture going on inside of this. I think the word "odd" covers this cookie. Again, not bad, but I'm not exactly sure what I'm tasting.

size reference

Dark Chocolate Cheesecake

I think the review for this cookie is exactly the same as my Strawberry Cheesecake one, but supplant strawberry with chocolate, and we've got a cookie review. I think the only real complaint with this is how few of these chocolate chunks we get. It tastes good, but too many times am I sitting there with no chocolate flavor. There's a reason they didn't make just Cheesecake cookies.


And the last devoured cookie soul shall be:

Caramel Apple Pie

THIS. Now, THIS, is the shining star of our little 4 way dance. If this was a Money In The Bank match, you'd see Caramel Apple Pie walking around the airport with the WWE briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. When you bite into these, the moistest of the bunch, you feel like you're biting into homemade apple pie cookies. The apple is strong and permeated the entire cookie, even after you've chewed a little on the apple bits, that are most likely not real apples, but tastes like it had just bounced off of Newtons head and into this cookie. The caramel takes a back seat, which I thought was an odd choice, but totally works with how this flavor combination comes together. Soft, Decadent, flavorful, and amazingly sweet. Bravo PF, you may have created an almost perfect cookie, and managed to achieve it with NO CHOCOLATE OR PEANUT BUTTER WTF!!!!

Overall I'd say these cookies are ok. Nothing to bring home to a family gathering, nothing to fill up the snack trays at a lavish country wedding, nothing to bring to nibble on after your grandfathers funeral. Just a cookie to try, see if you dig, and move on. I'd give these cookies from Pepperidge Farms a C with the exception of our star student, Caramel Apple Pie, who moves to the head of the class with an A+. Those are the cookies you throw in the air at a graduation, the kind you toss as the bride and groom exit a wedding, the kind you wrap up for your blind trucker husband to open and enjoy on a cold, freshly snowed Christmas Morn.

-josh