Even though most of the US probably assumes everyone in the northeast goes to Dunkin' Donuts every 20 minutes (and maybe they even think we dunk our donuts in coffee?), that's not entirely true- and certainly not for me. As a non-coffee drinker who is still bitter about Dunks (yea, most people don't call them Dunkin' Donuts either) getting rid of their flatbread sandwiches (which may have been my favorite breakfast sandwich ever), they're not exactly on my radar. But after several people who don't know we have a mental radar that alerts us of when things like this exist texted us with a picture of this beauty, it was time for me to drive 1 and a half miles in any direction to my nearest Dunks.
A breakfast sandwich with donuts as the bread. Damn.
To be fair, this has been done before, and we've even done this with cheeseburgers, but it's pretty cool for a huge company like Dunkin' Donuts to fulfill the dreams of everyone wearing size XL or larger. After I pulled up to the drive-thru and was asked what I wanted within 1 second, I told the worker to give me a second. After repeating this again, I asked them if they had "that donut sandwich," since either I'm officially too old to understand drive-thru menus or they really are getting harder and harder to find anything on. She said "um.. hold on a second- let me make sure we have the donuts for it." This surprised me as they always have enough donuts to feed a small country. Are there specific donuts just for this sandwich? Maybe she just meant pre-cut ones? Not sure, and I may never know since I'm too lazy to try and find out. All I cared about was that I did get one, and I was excited.
Unwrapping it, it looked pretty much like I expected it to.
where are my 3 hashbrowns?
Notice the difference between reality and the ad? Yea, when you have to wrap a glazed donut, it gets a little messy. I guess I should have gone to one of the other Dunks, you know, the ones where THEY SERVE SANDWICHES TO YOU ON PLATES.
I opened it up to investigate, and I was happy and sad at the same time. I was happy to see that this appeared to be a real cut-in-half donut, and the bacon, although messily served, looked like real (and good) bacon. However, I was sad to see that Dunks is still selling the weird egg patty things that don't resemble any type of food on earth.
After re-assembling the sandwich for maximum bacon coverage,
I promptly destroyed it.
It was good- the bacon was crisp and flavorful, the egg did its job as filler (it was there enough that I tasted it but it didn't overwhelm), and the donut was insanely sweet. It also had a bit of the grease you get from a heated up donut, even though I think the only heat it got was from the egg patty. It all worked together pretty well, but it lacked a bit of the revelatory spark I was hoping for- it tastes exactly like what you'd imagine a donut with bacon and egg on it from Dunkin' Donuts would taste like.
One problem though- I expected cheese, and I feel like it would be much better with cheese. Maybe cheese and glazed donut didn't test well? I do know this- I want there to be cheese, and I will order another one of these with cheese to see who is right in this relationship. Stay tuned...
as it is, I'll give it a B+
While there, I decided it was finally time to try a Hot Chocolate Coolatta. I've always been a fan of Coolattas (ever mix flavors? you should), and missed this the last time it was out. Not only that, but I've recently realized how much I like the cocoa flavor of chocolate. Dairy Queen has a chocolate extreme blizzard with cocoa powder-flavored soft serve instead of their normal chocolate soft serve, and let me tell you, it is EXTRAORDINARY. So I was assuming this would taste like that, in Coolatta form. I was psyched.
couldn't give me a hot chocolate coolatta cup? pbbbttt
This was good, but it didn't taste like hot chocolate, at least none I've ever had. Instead, it tasted like chocolate milk. In fact, it tasted EXACTLY like Hershey's chocolate milk, the kind I grew up on and my mom had to limit how often I was allowed to have. Is this evidence of Hershey's syrup?
This was good, but they should call it a Hershey's Chocolate Milk Coolatta. Even if they aren't using Hershey's, it's the exact same flavor. It was good, but a bit of a let down. I wanted it to taste like, you know, that stuff they said it's supposed to taste like. Also, it was actually almost too sweet, like those times as a youngin where I got excited and just kept squeezing syrup into the bottom of my cup until I had 2 inches of syrup in a 8 inch glass and it was unbearably chocolate-syrupy.
Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich: Very good, but lacking something special to give it an A. B+ as it is, and stay tuned for part 2 of this post to see if it's any better with cheese.
Hot Chocolate Coolatta: Tasty but actually too sweet. I give it a D for its claim that it's hot chocolate flavored, but a B- if it were just called a Chocolate Coolatta. So I guess that means it gets a C.
-review by Mike