Sunday, February 15, 2015

Doritos: Jacked 3D Jalepeno Pepper Jack ...chips?

So, I'm not the chip guy in the group, we all know that's Mike. So when handed these from the Snack Research Dept, I rolled my eyes and was prepared to be underwhelmed.
We all know Doritoes JACKED are just thicker chips with more flavor dust, but 3D? I'm intrigued.

this isn't a chip, or is it?

BEHOLD, the worlds first 3D snack. No longer just a gimmick to get you to pay $3 more than a regular movie ticket and give you a splitting headache no, this true invention marks a bold new era in chip making. Inspired by ancient carvings of Gobekli Tepe, with a large surface area in which to hold more flavor dust, this revolutionary design allows for the same air cruch that you get with a traditional Dorito. Which, of course, Ancient Astronaut theorists believe, could never be dreamed up by the men and technology of our time. The answer is of course:

 If you're a person afraid of a little heat, fear not. The Jalepeno Pepper Jack flavoring delivers a sweet fresh pepper smooth taste that invades your whole mouth, and allows the classic Dorito flavor come rolling in after it. Once the "chip" is done with you, a slow heat aches inside, beckoning you to take a sip off your favorite flavor of soda pop.
This snack of unknown origins is dangerous friends. It's casual enough to make you keep coming back to the bag, the heat addicting enough, the mystery enthralling enough, it's EXTREMELY easy to polish off one of these bags in one sitting.

I give Doritos JACKED 3D Jalepeno Pepper Jack a
This not only pioneers a new genre of glorious new chip experiences, it also
provides a welcome break to the stale chip landscape, where for decades the only
innovation was flavor. 

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Taco Bell's New Crunchwrap Sliders!

The resident FGFB Taco Bell reviewer (FGFBTBR) is back. 

As someone who never really ate a lot of Mexican food growing up, I have certainly gone to Taco Bell a lot recently, due to their huge breakfast menu and their sudden passion for Crunchwraps
Hey, when you find something that works, you stick with it. Good job for recognizing you have something special, Taco Bell.

Their next step with that special something was to create 3 new Crunchwraps, but this time they're "sliders," and they're a lot cheaper. 

I've only heard of "sliders" being used to describe mini burgers, but I guess you can now use that to describe any food that's a mini version of another food. I got all 3 and laid out a fancy presentation:

I had no idea which was which, so I started with... something.

First off, I'm 99% sure these are the same size tortillas they use for their bigger Crunchwraps, and they fold them the exact same way. They're just much thinner because they don't have a hash brown filling them up. While they usually have eggs to fill them up too, it was pretty funny to realize how much of a Crunchwrap's mass is from that hash brown. But you're getting a real deal on tortillas, since these were cheap and a regular Crunchwrap can get up to around 4 bucks.

I bit into the first one and found out that it was the Spicy Chicken one. This is just marinated chicken, Fritos chips, and a creamy chipotle sauce.

First off, I LOVE that there are Fritos in these. Bravo Taco Bell. Bravo.
This was a little blah though. The chicken was pretty dry, and I made the mistake of getting these when I wasn't able to eat them right away. I re-heated them in the microwave, not thinking about the Fritos. Chips without crisp are not very good. 
But I was able to ignore that and focus on everything else. If this had had more sauce, my rating would be much higher, since the sauce is absolutely fantastic and is really necessary to help the dry blahness of the chicken. If I get this again, I'll order extra. 

some delicious peeking out

As this was, I'll give it a C. It needed more sauce, and more importantly, it needed cheese. I'll pay more, it's ok. Just give me cheese.

Next up was apparently the Beefy Cheddar Crunchwrap Slider.

looks like rice, but nope- just cheeeese

Why this has cheese in it and the chicken one doesn't is beyond me, because the cheese in this made it. I've never been a fan of that standard taco-seasoned beef, and my initial displeasure led to me ignoring Mexican food for most of my life, not realizing that everything else other than taco seasoning is pretty damn good.
So, this unfortunately has a lot of seasoned beef. But it also has Fritos, cheddar cheese, AND warm nacho cheese, which really made a difference. 
It was creamy and gooey in all the right ways something like this should be. 

I even went back and got another one on a different day so I could taste it with the crunch of the Fritos. As expected, this made it way better and helped give some texture to something that would have otherwise been goo.

I'll give this a C as well, but only because I'm not a fan of the beef. If you are though, this is absolutely something you need to get. The nacho cheese and melted cheddar rule. Put that on the chicken, Taco Bell! WTF!

So the last one up was actually the one I was most excited to try- the BLT Crunchwrap Slider.

This is exciting for many reasons. 

1. I love BLTs
2. Where can you get a BLT (sort of) sandwich for a buck?
3. What Mexican place makes BLTs? (yes, I know calling Taco Bell Mexican food is sacrilegious to many, but I don't care)

This has exactly what you'd expect, except it also includes Fritos and an Avocado Ranch sauce (?!).

And it rules.

I mean, look, this is dollar menu food at Taco Bell. This is not going to replace a BLT sub from that awesome sandwich place in the next town, or even your own homemade BLT with huge strips of bacon. 
But for the price and location, this is an awesome little creation. It falls apart quite easily (there's no solid mass to keep it together), but if it does, just make a little roll up like I did. 

The tomatoes taste great, the lettuce is there, the bacon is suprisingly flavorful and awesome, and the chips add an awesome bonus flavor and crunch. And the avocado ranch sauce (which, gun to my head, I would tell you was just ranch) is delicious and adds an awesome flavor. Who knows, maybe the secret avocado is what ties this whole thing together.
I love this thing and will absolutely be getting them until Taco Bell decides to take them off the menu, which will probably be way too soon. Hopefully, at least this one lasts. A.

To recap: 

Spicy Chicken: Needs cheese and more sauce, but not bad. C.
Beefy Cheddar: Terrific if you love taco-seasoned meat, otherwise just ok. C
BLT: If you like BLTs, ranch and Fritos (why wouldn't you like all of those?), get this. A.

One HUGE complaint though- Don't lie to me, Taco Bell. You said these were a buck each in the commercials, and you said they were a buck each on the website. I've bought these at 2 different Taco Bells in 2 different states, and they are not a dollar. They are $1.29. So either stop lying, or force the Taco Bells in Woburn, MA and Somersworth, NH to give me a lot of food for free since they're overcharging me (I'd prefer that). Thanks.

-review by Mike

Have something you think we should review? Spot some new snack out in the wild and think we need to know about it? Just want to write in and tell us how much we rock? COOL. You can email us at Also, we are on twitter: @fatguyfoodblog. You can even LIKE our facebook page, we do some fun stuff over there sometimes!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

It's Freakin' Awesome Snack Mix!

What's up? How have you all been? Is 2015 treating you well so far? GREAT! Well the entire crew of the Fatguyfoodblog is happy to finally get this new year of reviews under way! What the hell have we been up to? VACATION, DUDE! THE HOLIDAYS! Yeah I know it's well past that, but come on, we are lazy fat guys. We extend that vacation as long as we can! But that's all over now. You see, our mailbox has been bursting at the seams with products that awesome companies send us to try! So we are kicking off the 2015 season with one of the most interesting of those items we found in our mailbox. Ladies & Gents, feast your eyes on...

You know what? It really is freakin' awesome. 
There are a million snack mixes out there. From Chex Mix, to Munchies, to Cheez-Its snack mix, Heck, they even make Captain Crunch snack mixes. So if you're going to get into the snack mix business, you need something that's going to set you apart from the rest. So not only does your actual mix have to dazzle taste buds, but you also have to have some sort of gimmick that's going to grab snackers and not let go. I'm happy to say that Freakin' Awesome Snack Mix has both of these things.

First off, the ingredients. Freakin' Awesome Snack Mix is a delightful array of things. It has peanuts, almonds, dried cranberries, what appears to be a Crispix-like cereal, and caramelized tortilla chips. Whatever they use to caramelize the tortilla chips is also on the rest of the stuff, so it does a great job tying it all together. You get a sweet burst from the cranberries, two distinct different crunches and textures from the peanuts and almonds, and the cereal holds onto a lot of the flavor around it. But I'm not going to lie to you. There's one part of this that outshines the rest and that's the caramelized tortilla chips. At first, THEY ARE WEIRD. You kind of don't know if you like them or not. It's a burst of sweet followed by a strange spicy/cheesy flavor. But then you finish that first chip and your brain pauses for a moment and then screams, "THAT WAS WEIRD. LETS TRY ANOTHER!" Then after this happening a few times you realize that not only do you like the chips, but you freakin' LOVE them. 

These puppies are the real star of the show.
So there you have it. You know we deem the mix to be great. But what else does this have going for it? Well it's got a solid gimmick that it not only jumps out at you, but they shamelessly use it at every chance they get. When you read the bag, you can find FREAKIN' and AWESOME easily 400 times in a quick glance. It's great. Even their website runs with the gimmick: ! Excellent, unique snack mix and a solid gimmick! I would highly recommend you give this a try.

I give It's Freakin' Awesome Snack Mix an A! I ate the entire bag in a span of two days and don't feel bad about it in the least. It was delicious and I'm planning on ordering some asap, unless of course perhaps some more showed up at Fatguyfoodblog headquarters. You never know!
You can order yourself some of this mix here: .

Review by Rich.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Mrs. Fields Soft Baked Originals and Cookies for Soldiers

A little while ago, we were contacted by either someone from Mrs. Fields or a promotion company (I don't really care who it was- all that really mattered to me was that they were gonna send me cookies), about reviewing and getting the word out about Mrs. Fields' partnership with the USO and a sweet little promotion they're running. 

Normally, it's pretty easy to be all I DONT CURR BOUT NOBODY I JUS WANNA EAT MAH COOKIES, but they're sending a cookie to a solider for every tweet that mentions them, so I get cookies and soldiers out on the front line get cookies too? I'm in. 

They sent us a sweet little gift box:

All in all, this is all the awesome stuff I got. I bitchin army santa hat, a mini American flag, an adorable snowman plate, a sweet little santa glass, and... milk?

Not gonna lie- I was a bit terrified to try to drink milk that had been mailed to me, but according to the container, it's ok to drink. And it's organic... Not sure how that works. But, I had some and didn't die, so I guess you can mail milk!

I was a bit cautious about these cookies. I worked in a mall for 5 years, and was a regular customer at Mrs. Fields. I started with their cookie sandwiches until I realized that 1. They were pretty much impossible to eat without all the frosting shooting out everywhere, and 2. I wanted to die after eating them, since it's literally 2 of the richest, sweetest cookies ever made with an inch of frosting in between and on top. Later, I switched it up to the more manageable cookie cupcakes, then became that guy who orders everything custom, and started asking for white chocolate macadamia nut cookies with light blue frosting put on them (it has to be light blue, trust me). At work, for anyone's birthday or last day, we got the giant cookie cakes that are like a foot across. When I left, my cookie cake said "die" on it. Maybe I wasn't as popular as I thought. 

Long story short, I'm very well versed in Mrs Fields cookies, and I assumed there was no way they could recreate the ridiculous goodness of their fresh mall cookies in a prepackaged style. But I had to try them. For the troops.

The box I got came with 8 cookies, all individually wrapped. 

are you not supposed to eat all 8 in one sitting?

Opening them up, they looked and smelled like great cookies, but I could tell that they weren't true Mrs. Fields cookies.

smaller too

But, let me tell you, these were some fine ass cookies. They really tasted a bit different than standard Mrs Fields. I would say they landed somewhere between Mrs. Fields and those awesome Keebler Soft Batch cookies. They were soft, very buttery and had TONS of chocolate chips in them. Honestly, they were better than most soft chocolate cookies you can get at the store- definitely not better than a local place that makes their own cookies, but better than anything you can get at a supermarket. 

chip city

Since they sent me milk and this adorable little glass (sorry, I'm a dude- this BADASS TOUGH glass), I had to have another with milk.

which sort of worked once I cut off a thin strip of cookie...

maybe the glass was more for show...

Either way, the milk helped, as it always does. These were some great cookies. 

Unfortunately, these aren't really in stores, or at least none that are near me. Or maybe I just haven't seen them. Either way, if you are a reader from outside New England, buy some of these if you see them. Here's a list of who sells them: Booyah. There are also other flavors other than Milk Chocolate Chip too, including the glorious white chunk macadamia. I'll definitely be on the lookout for these, and you should be too. Sure, a mall Mrs. Fields cookie is better, but you have to go to a mall to get them. Ughk.

Since Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving and being a good person rather than reigning blows on some old man's head to steal a cheap blu ray out of his hand (for yourself of course), take 15 seconds out of your day to tweet about cookies. I don't think it even matters what you tweet. And as far as I know, you can @ them so your regular twitter followers don't have to see that you're tweeting about cookies (I know you have a reputation to uphold). Or, mention what you're doing so people think you're a good person. Just mention @cookiemoment. Each mention sends a delicious cookie to someone who would probably love a cookie way more than you. 

You want coupons too? Ok. Go here and they'll give you one. 

This promotion only goes until 12/31, so if you're reading this, tweet every day and get 8 cookies to 8 soldiers. Or 8 cookies to one really fat mean soldier who steals the other soldiers' cookies. 

Do it for the Christmas spirit. Do it for little Cindy Lou Who. Do it in the name of St. Nick. Do it for the troops. Do it for America.

Cookies: A-
Promotion and Christmas Spirit of Mrs. Fields: A++++

-review by Mike

Friday, December 12, 2014

Dunkin' Donuts Croissant Donut & Angus Steak & Egg breakfast sandwich!

America runs on Dunkin'. It's true. Television and radio tell you that if you live in New England, every five minutes! However, I usually don't head there unless I'm in a jam. Why? Well mostly because their coffees aren't my favorite. Call me a coffee snob if you'd like, it's okay. But you can't deny there's few places better to get an array of breakfast items at a cheap price. So when we got a few requests to review the new items at ol' Dunks, I stepped up to the plate. So here goes! Let's take a look at the Dunkin Donuts Croissant Donut & the Angus Steak & Egg Breakfast Sandwich! 


Single donut box?! You've got my attention, Dunks! 
First thing I noticed was this cool little box they put the donut in. I'm used to them slapping it in a paper bag and calling it a day. Well it looks like they are trying to step up their game and let you know that this thing is a big deal. You've got my attention, Dunks.

Hey now...

First thought? This is a pretty looking donut. But it just looks like a slightly bigger than usual glazed donut with a little darker outer layer and a nice criss-cross pattern that could be deliberate or it could be due to the cooling racks they put them on. WE MAY NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH.

But once you rip into it, it really shines. The outside is slightly crispy and then the middle is a strange hybrid of chewy and flaky. It kind of defies logic. If you didn't know what it was you were eating, you might ask, "wait...wait just a moment. Is this a donut or a croissant?" Seriously. They nailed it. There's an excellent sweetness, followed by a slight crispy crunch, and then a nice flaky, chewy inside. Was it as good as the donuts from the Stonehouse Bakery in Barrington, NH? Hell no. But was it easily the best donut I have ever had from a Dunkin Donuts? Quite possibly! Very interesting and they definitely hit their mark.

I would give this strange hybrid donut a solid B!

Next on the agenda...the Angus Steak & Egg Breakfast Sandwich!

Of course I got it on an Everything bagel. Why? IT HAS ALL THE FLAVORS. I will never regret not getting ______. Because instead I get them all. Now before I tackle this one, let's hearken back to a simpler time when Mcdonalds debuted their steak breakfast sandwich. I literally got it ONCE. Just one time. Because that one time I bit into it and so much grease filled my mouth that I could have dumped the Orange Hi-C out of my cup and filled it to the brim with grease. So gross. So that's been burned into my head and was all I could imagine here. But, I was wrong. This really wasn't bad!

The flavor was kind of fake, like you'd expect. Whenever fast food tries to do a steak flavor it just ends up tasting a bit like beef jerky. I also found that as I neared the halfway point in the sandwich the steak patty ended up losing integrity and starting to fall apart and even almost looked like shredded steak. But all in all I don't have much to say about it. I won't rush out and get another one anytime soon, but if I was hungry in the morning and someone tossed me one of these, I'd make it my breakfast.

I'm going to give the Dunkin' Donuts Angus Steak & Egg breakfast sandwich a solid C+.

Now? Here's a picture that is somehow absurdly creepy.

Don't stare too long. You'll be sorry. 
See what I'm saying? Man. Hopefully Ol' Donut eye doesn't haunt your dreams tonight folks.


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Friday, November 28, 2014

PIZZA HUT WEEK, DAY 5: Cock-A-Doodle Bacon

Day 5.

 I'm sure you're all Black Friday'd out, you were up all night, chasing down deals, finding cheap blu rays, and pretending that the 55" 720p you bought isn't absolute garbage. You're tired, hungry, and just want to relax the night away wondering why you bought that $25 chromecast since you have 10 other things that do the exact same thing. You know what's actually not garbage? The Pizza Hut Cock-A-Doodle Bacon Pizza.

The Stats:
 The Cock-A-Doodle Bacon boasts Creamy garlic Parmesan sauce, grilled chicken, hardwood smoked bacon and diced Roma tomatoes—flavored up with toasted Parmesan on the crust.
I ensure you dear reader, that us here at FGFB have not been paid by Pizza Hut in any way. I'm just letting you know, because like past 4 posts, we all absolutely loved this pie.

Everything about this Pizza was orgasmic. Picking up a slice, you noticed the sheer heft of it. The bacon,  thick like jerky (which I previously mentioned) pairs as you'd expect from the above average pizza chicken. The Roma tomatoes, the most popular of all tomatoes since 2007, adds that sweet flavor that we thought we lost by taking the tomato sauce out of the equation. I believe this really helped in keeping the traditional pizza flavor by reminding us that it's still there, and introduces us to something different. And our star, The Parmesan sauce. It felt much thicker than it did on other pizzas, and it provided a layer of cheese so creamy, even a man with the last name "Cheese" would approve.

The crust on this thing does exactly what the crust on a pizza is supposed to do. It casually drives all of these flavors into your mouth and adds that slightly greasy crunchy bed in which where you get to reflect and enjoy everything that just took place.

 I think out of all these pies, the Pizza Hut Cock-A-Doodle Bacon takes the prize out of the best overall pizza experience. The hardest part, is saying the words Cock-A-Doodle to a grown man or woman, on the other side of the line. Hell, that's what online ordering is for.

I give the Pizza Hut Cock-A-Doodle Bacon and A+
Pizza Hut overall, an A. 

PH has long been my favorite chain pizza restaurant, and I'm glad that now that the've changed things, they just went ahead and made everything better. In doing so, I know for a fact that now, when Pizza is brought up, I won't be the only one throwing in Pizza Huts name into the race. Thank you PH for taking this bold new step and letting us as fat, ugly, lazy, Americans have pizza any way we actually want it. 


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Thursday, November 27, 2014

PIZZA HUT WEEK, DAY 4: Cherry Pepper Bombshell

Day 4 of FGFB Pizza Hut week brings us to a pizza I can confidently say I would never try if it wasn't for us trading slices, but that taught me that leaving your comfort zone can be a great thing. 

By the way, if we haven't said this yet- you should do what we did. You don't have to be a bunch of pizza-crazed fat guys watching wrestling. You can just be people who like pizza. Get a bunch of different pizzas and slice-for-slice trade. You'll get to try weird stuff that you maybe wouldn't normally. And you may find something extraordinary you've been missing out on. Do it. 

So anyway, when we ordered, Dan was the only one of us who had tried a new Pizza Hut pizza, and although he wanted to try one (or all) of the other 20 new pizzas, he got what he had gotten before, because he was freaking out so hard about how good it was- the Cherry Pepper Bombshell. 

I assumed a cherry pepper bombshell looked something like this:

but nope. Sadly, it looks like this: 

what is that, lettuce? Is this a salad or a pizza?

Dan was more excited to eat something he'd already eaten than we were to try a whole new menu. Look at him peaking at Rich's chocolate chip cookie while Rich wasn't looking!

probably mouth breathed all over it

So this thing is as described: "premium crushed tomato sauce, premium salami (thank god they're both premium!), Peruvian cherry peppers and fresh spinach- flavored up with toasted Asiago on the crust edge and a balsamic sauce drizzle." They recommended their thin n' crispy crust, so that's what we got.

We opened up the box and although they forgot spinach, I was pretty impressed with this thing:

lookit that color!

Truthfully, I would't want spinach anyway. I like spinach in some things, but only cooked spinach. I can't imagine raw spinach leaves would improve this pizza, but Dan swears that it does. I'll have to find out later, because clearly, the night we ordered, Pizza Hut was either out of spinach or the person who made these pies hates it and tried to spare us.

I was pretty out of my comfort zone on this one. I've never had a peruvian cherry pepper and am usually pretty hesitant when it comes to peppers in general. I'm sure I've had salami on a meat pizza, but I don't think I've had it in giant slices like this- so predominant and huge. And I certainly had never had a balsamic glaze on a pizza, and probably not on anything else to be honest. Laugh at my food ignorance, but I hear "balsamic" and I think of salad dressing. And that's not something I want on a pizza. 

But this? This I want on a pizza.

So I'll break this down for you. 

Peruvian Cherry Peppers: Out. Standing. They're so sweet, they're like candy. There is absolutely no spice to them, and the Hut chopped them up nice and small so the pizza didn't get all watery, like green peppers can do. These have an almost fruity (not too fruity) sweetness that's hard to describe really- they are unique and they are special. 

Balsamic Glaze: While I don't agree that I want this on every pizza ever like Josh said in his review, it is absolutely essential to the success of this particular pizza. It kicks the sweetness of the cherry peppers- sorry, PERUVIAN cherry peppers into the next stratosphere. This glaze is like sweet, syrupy candy sauce, but sweet in a way that I feel like it would only work as well as it does with other sweet toppings. But man, it is fantastic on this pizza. Great job, Pizza Hut.

Salami: Just salty and spicy enough that it really works nicely to offset the sweetness of everything else. Pepperoni, my standard pizza topping, would probably be too spicy, while this really works very well. I noticed a slight spice in my mouth after finishing my piece, which is probably a little from the salami and a little from the peppers. But again, not too much.

Spinach: I don't know, but I'll find out, cuz I'll be getting this again. I feel like the last thing this pizza needs is bitterness, but maybe it adds just enough to make the sweetness not so ridiculous, while adding some texture and vegetables so Mom is happy. 

The crust was thin. That's about all I can say about it. The same goes for the Asiago crust. I have no complaints, but neither added a lot. It'd be hard for anything to really stand out on this candy pizza other than the candy.

As this pizza was, I have no choice but to give it an A. It's not something I'll get all the time though. It honestly was so sweet, I felt like I was eating a dessert pizza, which was kind of weird to me. But hey, I'm an adult. Why couldn't I just get a standard Mike pizza, then get one of these for dessert? Any pizza with any customization for only 11 bucks online? That's not a bad 22 dollar dinner and dessert right there...

-review by Mike

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