Thursday, February 25, 2016

Snickers Crisper!

Ah, Snickers. A classic candy bar! Packed with peanuts! It really satisfies you! If you're hungry, why wait? Yup, they have had their share of cool ad campaigns over the years and lots of weird variant versions of the original. But we haven't seen anything new from them since they put out the Peanut Butter Squared Snickers. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon the Snickers Crisper the other day while at a store! 

Whats the deal with the Snickers Crisper? Well, it's four square pieces and the package boasts Crisp Rice, Milk Chocolate, Caramel and Peanuts. Basically, this is Snickers version of the Whatchamacallit. Now, if you're like me, that doesn't get me excited in the least.  Why? Well, quite frankly, the Whatchamacallit is a bottom of the barrel candy bar that is nobodies favorite. It's boring as hell! It has a bunch of good ingredients but it's so thin you could use one to jimmy the lock on an old sedan. The layer of caramel on a Whatchamacallit is so thin and tasteless that it might as well be a layer of glue that just holds it together. Think about it. I've never bought one. The only times I've ever eaten one is if someone gave me one. They're junk!

However, if you're thinking I'm going to lump the Snickers Crisper into that same category, you're quite wrong. The Snickers Crisper is the Whatchamacallit done right. Instead of making it as thin as a Sun Belt granola bar, it's thick as hell! Which is great because it's so packed with giant crisp rice pieces, chunks of peanuts and a very generous amount of caramel!

It really seems like they improved on the original design in every way. Instead of being a hard, near tasteless block of chocolate, the Snickers Crisper is a big, crispy, crunchy, gooey, delicious mess. The amount of soft caramel really rivals any other candy bar in the game. I'm not even sure if a Caramello has more caramel than one of these! Not only that, but when you take a bite, the textures are really satisfying, (see what I did there?) and different. The peanuts mixed in with the rice are almost the best part for that reason alone!

In the end, I think the Snickers Crisper is a fun addition to their line of candy bars. Will it last? Who's to say. But if you're into all those classic elements that this bar has in it, then scoop one up. It seems like a weird idea for a candy company to basically just remake another long standing candy bar, but hell, if you can do it better, why not?

Give the Snickers Crisper a try today! I'm giving it a solid B!

Wanna tell us about a new snack we should review? Think we should try that monster burger at your local burger joint? Do you represent a company and you want us to review your stuff? Well drop us a line! Here's how you can connect with the FGFB crew online:
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This review was written by Rich Brunelle, who lives in Seattle Washington where he eats at a million restaurants and then never does any reviews of them.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies!

Remember a couple years ago when Hostess went under and everyone under the sun started freaking out because they wouldn't be able to get their favorite Hostess snacks anymore? It was kind of ridiculous. If you haven't bought a Twinkie in ten years, you probably won't miss them. I know I wouldn't. But what would I miss? Those delicious Hostess chocolate cupcakes. Sure, I might only have one once or twice a year, but they are a classic childhood treat that I like to revisit. Other than them being miniature, the recipe seems to have stayed the same. A flavor that just about everyone loves. Even those maniacs at Nabisco. So much so, that they decided it was time to give us a limited edition Oreo cookie based on them...FILLED CUPCAKE OREO COOKIES! 

While I can see the merits of not wanting to slap the name of a recently bankrupt company across your snacks, I think the marketing folks might have been able to come up with a better name than "Filled Cupcake", right? Well, that's about the only negative thing you are going to read in this review, because these are one of the best limited edition flavors that Oreo has ever done. EVER. Think about how many of their flavors we have reviewed. Let that sink in. If you're new here, let me lay it out: We review approximately 124 flavors of Oreo cookies per year. This is one of the best ever. 

You know damn well I'm not just tossing that around! Not in a world where Reese's Oreos exist! Not in a world with Cinnamon Bun Oreos! Not in a world that brought us Marshmallow Krispie Oreos! Birthday Cake Oreos?! Nope, I just wouldn't do it and you know that. But I'm serious here. These bring you the usual Oreo cookie, with what appears to be their chocolate creme in the middle. But then you open it up and see that this isn't just a chocolate Oreo, this one has a surprise in the middle!

When I first saw these I figured it was chocolate creme with their usual Oreo creme in the middle. Not the case. This filling is exactly like the light, sweet filling that you would find in a Hostess cupcake. Completely different consistency from the surrounding chocolate creme!

Very cool. Not only cool, but off the charts delicious too! The flavor wizards at Nabisco have outdone themselves this time. Sure the texture is all different, but this is the closest you could get to making a sandwich cookie taste like a "filled cupcake". There's no doubt in my mind! It's a chocolatey sweet flavor explosion with a triple threat of dessert textures. How can you go wrong here?

Despite the lame name, Filled Cupcake Oreos do exactly what they set out to do. They mimicked the flavor of a Hostess Cupcake and blow your mind which their magical combination of different cremes and icing.  Being a limited edition, these will go one of two ways. A: They are already scarce and whatever bag you next get your hands on will be your last. Or B: They will be popular and on the shelves for months. Either way, BUY THEM ALL. They are that good! I'm giving them a straight up A! 

As always, if you wanna drop us a line to give us an idea for an upcoming review, we love to hear from you! Or if you just want to send us pictures of puppies or kittens. Are you a company who wants us to review your stuff? Here's where you all can find us:

Review by Rich Brunelle. He lives in Seattle Washington and is in zero grunge bands, but does drink too much coffee.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Burger King Extra Long Buttery Cheeseburger!

Oh, Burger King. How the mighty have fallen. Back in the day, I remember only being able to make it a few days before devouring another delicious Stacker. I still remember its crispy bacon and creamy sauce like it was yesterday! It was like six years ago! But nowadays, the King is Dead. Long live the Queen (Wendy’s, obviously, this is not up for discussion). So the other night, Rich had posted about what I had interpreted to be a cheeseburger sub dipped in butter, served up by the deceased regent himself. I love butter and I love cheeseburger subs, so  I jumped on it! Because honestly, I want to love Burger King, I really do. They had the best marketing campaign of all time for a little while- a creepy King who scares you with cheeseburgers. Haha! You got me, King. Thanks for the burger. I’m gonna need my house key back tho. So, I really tried to like the Extra Long Buttery Cheeseburger at Burger King, but it just sucked.

Yeah. It sucked. I could’ve bought two regular cheeseburgers for cheaper and just put them right next to each other. If you cut this burger in half, I think Burger King technically owes you money. What about the butter? Take out the “about the”. This shameful marketing technique had absolutely no butter whatsoever. I could’ve chewed on an empty milk carton and tasted more butter than this. Hell, I could’ve licked a seat at my local movie theater and tasted more butter! I could have a jar of air sent to me from the butter factory and opened it on the opposite side of the room and tasted more butter than this.

What’s wrong with you BK! Your burgers are like seven bucks of “why did I buy this?” I’m calling you out, King. You guys need to get your sh*t together! I waited in line for like twenty minutes behind what I thought was a live Bobby Shmurda music video to eat this crap. And now I have to write about it? Oh, I’m pissed.

Burger King Extra Long Buttery Burger: D+. If I wasn’t super hungry I’d have taken one bite of this burger and dropped it on the spot right there. Literally I would have left it on the floor of my own apartment for a few days just to remind myself of my foolishness.

That being said, I’m still rooting for you, King. I love an underdog story, who doesn’t? I believe in you. Let’s stop ripping off the Big Mac, bring back the King making people shit their pants in the middle of the night, and get back to what any restaurant should be in it for. Food like an art, not like a source of revenue.  How about doing something off the wall that isn’t you guys 3-D printing your buns in a different shape. What about just literally putting every ingredient on your menu into one burger? I saw in  Japan you guys are doing all kinds of crazy stuff (the Kuro, Windows 7 Whopper, etc.) Bring that crazy Japanese stuff over here!! I’d probably like that! Idk, I’m just spitballin’. Just trying to help, BK. You guys need it right now.

Review By Sl33zy

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Monday, February 15, 2016

¿Como se llama? It's the New Taco Bell Quesalupa!

Taco Bell’s been teasing a new item for months. We heard it would be revolutionary. Would it be as profound as the Doritos Locos Tacos? Is that even possible? A deep fried, Cheetos Cheddar Jalapeno crusted burrito??? (sadly, no, but Taco Bell chefs, I have more ideas, reach out to me.) Who would the new debutante be? You’ve probably heard by now it’s the Quesalupa, a chalupa and quesadilla love child. Maybe the worst kept secret in fast food news this year. Either way, I was excited to taste the new creation. Here’s what it’s supposed to look like:
Look at that cheese stretch
I admit, I was looking forward to breaking open that bag o’ quesalupa and making an edible cheesy rubberband. That’s what the ads showed so it must be true. The Bell also describes it as a…”beautiful, chewy Chalupa shell on the outside, with delicious pepper jack cheese baked right inside the shell. Majestic, melty cheese stuffed inside the shell. A cheesy shell…” Note how many times they used the word “cheesy.”

The anticipation was building. It was tough not ripping into the bag, especially since I’d been fasting all day-only one lunch and 2-5 snacks. ½ a donut.

Quit teasing me, bag!

Rifling through the bag, I set aside the Sriracha Chicken Crunchwrap Slider, Spicy Soft Potato Taco, and the Chipotle Chicken Loaded Griller to get to the main prize. Before I pulled out the black foil-wrapped Q-Loop I could smell it: a distinct fried dough and grease smell. Needless to say, this is an exquisite smell. I am literally drooling on my plate; it’s good living alone. I carefully unwrapped the sultry temptress, inhaled that deep-fried scent, then set it down in admiration. The Q-Lupa container cradled its package lovingly. At this point, I needed to take a deep breath. Tonight was the night.

It was finally time to crack that baby open and bathe in the deluge of gooey cheese. The shell was dense with grease but still slightly crunchy. I gingerly split it open. THE CHEESE DID NOT STRETCH. Monumental disappointment. I inspected the shell further and searched for the cheese. There was a piddly amount and at first I thought maybe they forget an ingredient, like when they forgot the quesadilla portion of a Quesarita I ate some months back. Researched it a bit further and I was correct, the cheese was baked right there in the shell. That’s the last time I trust a fast food ad. You’ve screwed me over for the last time.

Measly amount of promised cheese notwithstanding, the Quesalupa was satisfying. It tasted like some solid street food, if the street food vendor had been taken over by a fast food company. It tasted like ½ the food at TB-not a bad thing-but not radical like the Doritos Locos line of tacos. The familiar lettuce, cheddar, sour cream, and bland chicken combo is still killer, but I was hoping for something more elevated. And for $2.99 the value simply isn’t there. You’re better off getting the superior and cheesier Quesarita.


With the absence of cheese, high price point, and familiar taste,
 I give Taco Bell’s Quesalupa a C+.

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Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Don't let the siesta start without me: Oreo Churro's!

Pretty much every god and gun toting American has had the downright pleasure of eating a Churro. But the question on everyones candy coated lips is this: What the hell actually is a Churro? Our man Julian Assange from Wikipedia tells us that a Churro is
"a fried-dough pastry—predominantly choux—based snack. Churros are popular in Spain, France, the Philippines, Portugal, Ibero-America and the Southwestern United States."
Cool right? But what the hell is "choux"?
Our man takes a break from the Ecuadorian embassy to tell us:
Choux is "a light pastry dough used to make profiteroles, croquembouches, éclairs, French crullers, beignets, St. Honoré cake, quenelles, Parisian gnocchi, dumplings, gougères, chouquettes and craquelins. It contains only butter, water, flour and eggs. Instead of a raising agent, it employs high moisture content to create steam during cooking to puff the pastry."
 So, Oreos plus fried choux, sounds amazing. I flipped taco bell the bird, hit up the local super market and grabbed what looked to be the worlds tastiest treat for this weeks Oreo Churro REVIIIIEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

I don't think that sugar topping is optional there 'Ro

Stupid me and not having a fryer handy, decided that these guys should probably be prepared in an oven. Microwaves deliver the worst heated snacks, so with the oven option available, I took it.

After those 8 minutes were up, me and the lady made sure to roll our churro's in the included sugar Oreo dust that was included in the package. "Optional." HA!

The smell of sugary sweet Oreo filled the kitchen... we commented on how the air was thick and heavy with remembrance of fair food. With that promise in the air, and those glittering diamond sugar dust blinding us as it caught the light just so, there was only but one sense left in which to see if the ultimate churro could dazzle.

After I bit into the first Oreo Churro, I had but one question to myself. What the hell did I just eat? The smell of these was absolutely out of this world, but I can only think of the taste in this one, specific way. A small, slightly chewier empty toilet paper roll, covered in sugar, and filled with, something. The cream that was supposed to be Oreo tasted like burnt vegetable oil, which had been sprayed with one perfume puff of Oreo cream flavoring. If I had went with their advertised optional non sugar coated churro, I couldn't have gotten further away from them.

In a world where Oreo dominates in the snack arena, their frozen churro option is just downright disgusting. This only makes me think that they can be prepared one way, and in the frialator. But isn't that cheating? Isn't everything that touches a frialator just awesome? So no Oreo, the fault lays with you, and how these are barely fit for human consumption. I'm extremely disappointed with a brand that I've always given my unflinching loyalty. You started out 2016 on a high note, and came crashing down faster than the twin towers.

I give Oreo Churros and F. 
these are just horrible.

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Thursday, February 4, 2016

Canada Week part 3! Canadian candy! Orange Aero, Reese's Clusters, Kit Kat Chunky Double Caramel, and the Reese's Oh Henry!

When you're the cool kind of dude who visits another country for Christmas, sometimes you pack light. Me? I had my one backpack with a few items in it,(comics, underwear, cell phone charger), and that was it. This works out great until I start buying bags of chips and an absurd amount of candy bars. I imagine people in the stores where I was buying this stuff must have thought I had just gotten out of prison or been stranded somewhere for years without sweets. I was stuffing them into my overflowing backpack like some kind of lunatic, with Loonies and Toonies clattering on the ground all around me. But in the end I somehow pulled it off and the only real casualties were one bag of chips that popped open. No big deal, I just ate them right away. But today we're going to take a quick look at all the sugar filled goodies that came back with me from our neighbor to the north!

As a kid visiting Canada, there was nothing cooler than an Aero bar. I remember my mom letting me buy a few because I would tell her how much I wanted to show my friends at school. Let's be honest here, though, not one of those ever survived the drive back. They were so cool! Chocolate on the outside with crazy chocolate bubble magic in the middle? It defied logic. Well I have no idea how long an Orange Aero has been available, but I've never seen one, so I was quite excited to try it.

Aero Orange has that distinct Aero chocolate you are used to on the outside, but the inside, porous light, bubbled chocolate is orange and has a great orange flavor to it. The flavor brings me back to the old chocolate orange that you have to bang against the table to separate all the slices. But in Aero candy bar form. I thought this was quite good and when it was gone I instantly wished I had bought more.

Aero Orange basically takes their usual formula and adds in some orange flavor. If you're not a fan of fruit in your chocolate, maybe stick with the original, but if you're up for trying new things, it's great!

Next up, when I see a Reese's item that I've never seen before, you can imagine my surprise and excitement!

I initially tried to find a smaller package but when it appeared that they did not exist, I bought this giant one that has a ton of individually wrapped Clusters in it. But, as you can see, even with this many, it was a dangerous game to play, because when the day came for the review, this is what was left in the box...

Don't think that I didn't reach for that final cluster many times thinking, "Eh, I can just leave these out of the review and nobody will ever know..." But I didn't! My will was so steadfast that I started thinking I should have been a Mountie...

Who am I kidding? I'm not nearly that cool. But you know what was? Reese's Clusters! Once that box was cracked I was reaching for one every thirty damned seconds! Creamy peanut butter, caramel, peanuts and pecans wrapped in milk chocolate! How can you go wrong?

These were a great mixture of flavors and textures. That salty Reese peanut butter that we all know and love, with a great crunch from the two different kinds of nuts. Then you have the caramel for a blast of almost buttery sweetness and the sugary chocolate on the outside.

I found myself popping an entire cluster in my mouth and letting it melt down.  Doing it that way you got each layer as it melted away. It was quite interesting.

Reese Clusters were great. My only wish is that perhaps they could have been bigger. One of these the size of a Big Cup would be incredible. But these pretty darn good despite being a weird mash up of past Reese's cup flavors.  A smaller package of them might be nice too so I don't end up eating enough candy for four people. All in all? Awesome! 

Then there's the KitKat Chunky Double Caramel! This is one I had never seen before at all. KitKats are supposed to be four sticks melted together! This is just one giant one! The package tells me there's both crunchy and smooth caramel in here? Canada what will you think of next?

See that scored line in the middle? that's where you snap it in half and one side is crunch and the other side is smooth.

The Crunchy side was my favorite of the two. It has the chocolate and wafers just like a normal KitKat but then above the top layer of wafers there is a thick layer of what tastes like light toffee. It's crispy and buttery and the entire thing goes together for an awesome unique take on a KitKat.

The smooth side wasn't bad either. Basically the same thing but it's top layer is a gooey strip of caramel. It does taste like a darker caramel than most candy bars have though, so it's a bit more rich. Overall I think the KitKat Chunky Double Caramel is a great candy bar and one you should definitely try out if you find yourself enjoying some time in the land of the Trailer Park Boys. 

Finally we come to the Reese's Oh Henry! I can't tell you the last time I had a regular Oh Henry, but I can assure you that when I did, it wasn't nearly as good as this one here with Reese's peanut butter added in.

Crunchy peanuts, Reese's Peanut Butter, creamy caramel and chocolate. This was quite similar to the Reese's clusters in taste, but this had a much different texture due to all the peanuts. The peanut butter was plentiful and it seemed to have a perfect amount of caramel to go together really well.

If I were the folks making Oh Henry, I would make sure this team-up with Reese's is one that isn't going away anytime soon. This was a great candy bar.

Now, I know what you're thinking, THIS IS ALL I GOT?! No, it's really not. I also purchased a number of Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp and a bunch of other classic Canadian candy bars, but figuring those have been around forever, I decided to have the review focus on things I hadn't ever seen before. Sorry, Eh!

This concludes Canada Week on Fatguyfoodblog! Hope you had as much fun as we did! Check back next week for more fun! I'll leave you with this important message from Gene Creamers, better known as Coach Teacher on the hit show Wheels Ontario...

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Review by Rich Brunelle. Who lives in Seattle and still feels like a creep taking pictures of his food so much out in public.