Remington Trail Steaks!

When we decided we were going to review Remington Trail steaks line of beef jerky snacks, we decided we were going to have to be more manly than usual to get through this one. Some readers may find that ridiculous because we're already the epitome of manliness. We practically ooze it. However, we knew that we needed to step up our game. That's why we took the jerky, donned as much flannel as we could, grew out our beards a little more, grabbed the hound dog, and headed into the wilderness. Did we just walk into the woods behind our house? Hell no. We hiked 20 miles into the white mountains with temperatures hovering around freezing, before we even decided to start scouting for locations to do the photo shoot. When we finally found a spot, we immediately bare knuckle boxed a grizzly bear we met on the trail, shared a bottle of whiskey, and then we began reviewing some Jerky!

We should be the cast of a wilderness survival show. 

I know what you're saying. Remington? THE Remington? Making beef jerky snacks? The answer is yes! Remington, a household name in firearms since they started in upstate New York in 1816, have long been known as makers of rifles & shotguns, as well as a plethora of accessories like ammo and clothing. Now they have decided to help their customers in another way, keeping them fueled with delicious meat snacks while they are doing their favorite outdoor activities! 

Since we decided to try every single flavor they offer, Josh snagged a bag of Sweet & Spicy Beef Jerky to get the party started. Irwin decided to help him out with the review. 

A peppery aroma greeted our noses after slashing the bag open with a huge pocket knife. 

That's a nice lookin' slab o' meat. 

The bag was filled with thick, giant chunks of jerky that looked like they had been sawed off the side of some animal just days before. 

Spoons? Forks? We only eat with huge knives! 

First off you're hit with the spices that are on the outside of the jerky, which are heavy in pepper. Then once you start chewing it up you get the sweetness, followed by a steady burn that never gets too bad. Great tasting jerky, big, solid chunks, and lots of it. You can't ask for much more than that! 

Irwin takes what he wants!

In the end Irwin ended up getting a piece too.  His review wouldn't count though, because if it's food, he loves it. 

Just then a quiet comes over the forest.  The Fatguyfoodblog crew are no longer alone. With no other weapons at hand, Rich draws a hatchet and scans the treeline for movement...

Then he sees it...his prey peeking from behind an ancient pine tree...

Without a moments notice, Rich lets the hatchet fly like Thor himself wielding mighty Mjolnir! 

What a shot! That bag of Remington Trail Steaks Honey BBQ beef jerky never stood a chance! 

Bullseye!

This jerky was fantastic. It was mostly in smaller chunks, but it was very soft and bursting with flavor. The honey was very apparent, and it hits you with a blast of sweetness and then the bold BBQ flavor sneaks up on the back end. This was some of the most tender jerky we've ever had! Very, very good. 

Next up was the Hunters Sausage...

First thing you might notice about these is that unlike the bags of jerky, these do not reseal. There's no zip lock strip to close it up. So you'd better be ready to eat all four Hunters Sausages, unless you have another baggie you can toss the leftovers in. 

You have to be intense when you're in the deep wilderness. 

These Hunters Sausages were quite delicious. They kind of taste like a Slim Jim, but if someone said, "Hey, I want to make a snack that's like a Slim Jim, but with higher quality ingredients and not gross." They are big, moist, they snap when you bite into them, and they have a great flavor. They are tangy, almost have a faint buffalo taste and they leave you with a very faint, pleasant spiciness on your tongue. 

Mike liked them so much that he decided that he would use one as bait in his next trap. He sharpened that stick in record time and in just a few moments had fashioned a trap using nothing but what mother nature had provided. But as any great trapper knows, these things take patience, so he suggested we review some others and then come back to his trap...

So next up was the Hot & Spicy Hunters Sausage. These ones were different than the previous ones. These DID come in a resealable bag but weren't nearly as good. They are much more dry, and tough. Also the scent of them was alarming because they smell VERY spicy. 

Smells like fire!

As manly as the Fatguyfoodblog crew is, none of us really enjoy foods that are extremely hot. I know it's tough to believe. You'd think that we pour bottles of hot sauce on everything we eat just for grins, but that's not how it goes. We enjoy flavors. If something has a great flavor and a little spice to go along, no big deal. But just heat with no flavor? Not interested. 

Now these Hot & Spicy Hunters Sausages did have lots of flavor, but the spice level was a bit too high for us to enjoy them fully. I think that if you're someone who really likes hot meat snacks, these will definitely be high up on your list. 

One thing I will say about these is that the art on the bag is AMAZING. So amazing that if I could get it blown up, I'd hang it on my wall in a frame made from the antlers of an 8 point buck. It looks like something that you'd find on the wall of an old hunting cabin in the wilderness of Alaska. 

Next up, we tore open a bag of Teriyaki Hunters Sausage! 

Similar to the last ones, but these were chock full of Teriyaki flavor! I found that if I ate a bunch they got a little salty but other than that, the taste is excellent. It's almost as if they used sticks of beef teriyaki from your favorite Chinese restaurant to make these! 

Just then our trusty hound let loose with a howl. Mikes trap had been sprung!

A bag of Maple Flavored Smoked Turkey Jerky was our prize! Mike decided that it needed to be field dressed right then, to ensure freshness while Josh and Irwin watched on...

The Smoked Turkey Jerky definitely looked...strange. It's a flesh colored. Almost what I imagine it would look like if you could melt human skin. It feels very rubbery, and that just adds to the weirdness. 

This thing is alien to Mountain Man Mike. 

However, as weird as it looks, it tastes pretty great! It has a strong sweet maple flavor that sticks around the entire time you are chewing it up and the texture gets lots better after your first few bites.

After the initial weirdness of its looks, it's real good! 

Once we got over the weirdness of how it looks, we definitely enjoyed it. Would be very interested in seeing some other flavors of the turkey jerky. Perhaps a smoky chipotle? Maybe mix some sort of fruit flavoring into a seasoning? Cranberry spice turkey jerky? I could see that working out. 

"Did you guys forget someone?"

In the end I have to say overall we enjoyed most of the snacks offered in the line of Remington Trail Steaks. 
Some were a little too hot for our tastes, but others, like the Honey BBQ and Teriyaki were absolutely delicious. So the next time you sling your trusty Remington rifle over your shoulder, and head into the wilderness for a day of hunting, be sure to stuff your pack with Remington Trail Steaks. They will keep you going all day long! 

For more information on Remington products, check out their website! 

Here's a commercial Rich made where he apparently pretends to be a character named Tex, obviously some sort of outdoorsman. Thought some of you might get a kick out of it. 

Finally, we'd like to end this post with an award winning photo. Irwin wearing a cowboy hat. See you next time, Fatguyfoodblog readers!

A true man of the wilderness if there ever was one.

Will You Jump For Jumpin' Jack Doritos?!

Much like Doritos did last year with their winter limited edition release of Sour Cream & Onion and Salsa Rio chips, they resurrected another fallen soldier from the catacombs this year. They brought back Sour Cream & Onion too, but these Jumpin' Jack chips were the new hotness I had to have. 

I had heard about these for a month before a friend informed me that apparently Shaws of all places was the only store to stock them. I went on the hunt and found probably the last 3 bags in existence for a possibly too late but still absolutely necessary review. 

If I remember correctly, there was a brief release of a pepper jack Dorito like 8 years ago that I wasn't too psyched about. Would these be better?

At first, these ruled, and reminded me a lot of the insanely good, why-the-hell-doesn't-Doritos-release-these-every-year Stadium Nacho. They had a strong spicey cheese flavor that was very similar to the nacho-cheese-on-chips flavor Stadium Nacho mimicked. But there was a little kick at the end that concerned me. 

That was the pepper. 

And there's lots of it. 

SO, if you like jack cheese, you'll love these... for a few minutes. Then, if you're anything like me and only like a hint of pepper on food, you will find these to be painful. They are just TOO peppery. There are black pepper chips out there, so clearly there is a market for people who love the awkward tongue sting of too much pepper, but that market isn't me. We tackled each other over stadium nacho, but I didn't find myself jumping in joy to these Jumpin' Jack Doritos. 

Bottom Line: These are quite good for probably a serving size of chips: a different flavor of cheese, a nice tang, and a little kick at the end. But over time, ole Jumpin' Jack clearly fell into a vat of black pepper, and that pepper flavor completely takes over any other flavor on these chips. And then they just become a recipe for a hurt, thirsty mouth. I liked them in the beginning, and hated them in the end. I guess that means they get a C, but I'm dropping them down to a D+. 

Give me Stadium Nacho. Give me BBQ. Don't waste my time with pepper!

-review by Mike

Lays new Chicken & Waffles, Sriracha, & Cheese Garlic Bread chips!

Usually around the beginning of summer the chip companies come out of hibernation and start bombarding us with new limited edition flavors in the thoughts that you'll bring them to your next barbecue or perhaps to the beach or even a sporting event. These are times when chips sell better than the rest of the year, so it makes sense. However, looks like Lays decided to get ahead of the game this year. They have launched a massive campaign for you to vote on the next flavor that will join their regular rotation. You have three very interesting flavors to choose from.  Try them all and then you cast your vote on their Facebook page! We tried them. Here's what we thought...

First off was CHEESY GARLIC BREAD...

Is there a soul on Earth who doesn't enjoy cheese garlic bread? If so, slap them. 

Not much of a scent when you crack open this bag but let me tell you something, the people at Lays are Flavor Wizards. These could have easily just been some generic cheese flavoring with some garlic powder but they are not at all. They somehow capture the flavor of cheese garlic bread PERFECTLY. Cheese, garlic, butter...it's uncanny. It helps that I literally had cheese garlic bread the night before trying these so it was fresh in my brain. 

I'd say of these three flavors these are the ones where you will be able to enjoy the most of them in one sitting. My taste buds never got sick of the flavor even for a moment. Each bite transported me to a memory of enjoying a huge chunk of cheese covered garlic bread with a pasta meal. Just fantastic.

Next up was the flavor I was the most worried about. Sriracha!

Not a fan of the picture on the bag. If these win, it needs an upgrade!

I know hot sauce type flavors are popular, but I've never really been a fan. I'd much rather have a great flavor than eat something that just makes my tongue burn. I'm a big fan of things that might be spicy that also have a great flavor to go along with the burn though, and that's exactly what these chips have.

Initially you get an almost sweet, garlic taste, which is quite delicious, followed by a medium spice that isn't too much, but it does hang around for a little bit. If you're a wimp when it comes to hot stuff, like myself, you might still enjoy these. The great flavor is definitely worth the slight sting that comes with eating a bunch of them. Fans of Sriracha will go crazy for these chips.

Which brings us to the flavor I was most interested in trying...

Chicken & Waffles!!!!

This isn't photoshopped, they are real,. 

Definitely the strangest and most ambitious flavor of the three, Chicken & Waffles mirrors a very popular dish in the south. Up here in New England it's not really a thing, but we hear hushed whispers of places where it's the norm. Lays decided to give their flavor wizards a real challenge. Could they possibly conjure up chips that taste like a combination of chicken and waffles? The answer is YES.

At first you are bombarded by maple syrup flavor, then after a couple of seconds a strange spice fills your mouth and you realize you are essentially tasting the crunchy batter from fried chicken. I feel like as you are eating these if you focus on the waffle part, you taste that more, then if you make your brain look for the chicken part, it zeroes in on it. They did one hell of a job with these chips. The flavor wizards can raise their wands to the heavens in celebration of a job well done. However, if they make these in big bags, I might stray away from them. As interesting & delicious as they are, I found that I could only handle so many before the taste weirded me out and I had to take a break. But every time you go back to them they are a revelation all over again.

In the end I would have to say that when I put in my vote for which flavor sticks around, it will be Cheesy Garlic Bread. Just because I feel like it's a solid flavor that chip fans could love for years to come. The gimmick of Chicken & Waffles almost beats it out though.

Cheesy Garlic Bread: B+
Sriracha: B
Chicken & Waffles: A at first, then probably a C after you eat a few.

Review by Rich

BC: Mac and Cheese GRILLED CHEESE

it says new, it doesn't look new

Imagine my fat guy surprise when I strolled into the store and saw a variation, on what is probably a staple of every man, woman, and child ages 3-28. Mac and Cheese usually only varies in as much as what kind of cheese, powder, squeeze, shells, elbows, and instantness....if that's even a word. (a quick google search and it is, suck an egg) There were 2 other options, I think one was regular, the second was "pizza", and then the one that I settled on, grilled cheese.

I'm not exactly sure what constitutes as a "naturally flavored" mac and cheese variant, but I don't care. Let's see how she feels in my mouth!

standard mac and cheese prep

not looking too promising

I judged too early, looks pretty damn tasty

Hey remember the time when a box of Mac and Cheese could feed two people? Or eating a whole box of Mac and Cheese made you a pig? Either Betty Crocker skimped out on us or we're just behemoths of men who see puny boxes of food, and dump them into our mouths without care of what it actually was. A box of BC Mac and Cheese is a single serving event.

Eating this stuff, during the first few bites my hair was blown back on how much this tasted like a grilled cheese sandwich. Each bite was cheesy, thick, and absolutely great. As the bowl wore on, the grilled cheese flavor disappeared, and I was left with half a bowl of just regular Mac and Cheese. I should call up Ms. Crocker on the phone and tell her to ditch the "Natural Flavor" and go with some chemical that has staying power. Overall this was way better than I expected.

It took a total of 15 minutes to prep, which might be a downside for some, but it's hard for me to settle into an instant version of mac and cheese because it's never quite as good. It wasn't overly cheesy to make you sick, and wasn't so weak that you threw the bowl into the street screaming "TRAITOR". The only real downside to this was when you were biting into it and tasting a grilled cheese sandwich, you wanted the familiar crunch of the butter soaked, grilled bread to go along side of it. I think if I pick one of these up again, I'll definitely put some toast or something on the side to see if that completes the meal.

I'll give the Betty Crockers: Mac and Cheese Grilled Cheese Edition a 

B.

-Josh

Kellogg's Cinnamon Jacks

It's a standard family breakfast setting, mom at the sink, making pancakes, smiling as the children run in with their book bags sitting down, excited for the breakfast to come. Dad sipping a coffee, acknowledging the children's joy over his morning paper. Mom walks around from the counter with plates filled with pancakes and places them in front of the children. The two kids, a boy and a girl, look at each other, their disappointment visible as they slowly grab a fork and go to take a half hearted bite into the prepared food. When all of a sudden from the breezeway a gust of warm air blasts into the kitchen, the curtains flail back, Dad's paper bends towards his face as Mom's hair is flying backwards, then you hear "AHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY TIRED OF DA SAME OD BREK FAST MON? TAKE BREK FEEST TO A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL STAR" and in comes Kellogg's mascot for the new cereal Cinnamon Jacks. The kid's eyes light up as a giant Cinnamon Stick with dreadlocks and a Jamaican hat pours bowls of this new cereal down for the children. The wind is still blowing as palm trees and other Jamaican cinnamon sticks are playing the steal drums behind the parents, who are now having a good time, and another cinnamon stick presents them with some fruity adult beverage.

I guess I understand. In a world where there's a mascot for everything, it was only a matter of time before the Cinna-Mon, and his golden eyebrow piercing, made his way into our homes.

 When you open the box of Cinnamon Jacks, you don't exactly smell cinnamon. It's there, like a faint cinnamon ghost is haunting the box, too weak to be able to get any actual smell in there. That kind of sets up the tone of the whole cereal. I kind of expected to get blasted with a puff of weed smoke when I opened the box, maybe in Colorado?

 Cinnamon Jacks has two tiers to it. The first being the crunch tier, where it's a typical corn based cereal, which you'd swear to ANYTHING that it was just Apple Jacks. They even cut your mouth the same way. But then on the second tier, where you get a good amount of sog, the ghost of Cinna-Mon's father rears his head and decided it's time to reveal himself to the world. Not that the cinnamon flavor is really too much different, you just get to actually taste some of it that's been hiding inside the cut up bits of painful ceramic tiles they call "Jacks".

This cereal is ok, I don't think it warrants an endless loop of me eating it, but I took the picture and now we're all stuck with it. The best part of the cereal is the mascot, which I guess is the only thing that matters to Big Cereal. It sold me, but I won't be picking this up again. 

I give Cinnamon Jacks a

D

-Josh