Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Kellogg's Cinnamon Jacks

It's a standard family breakfast setting, mom at the sink, making pancakes, smiling as the children run in with their book bags sitting down, excited for the breakfast to come. Dad sipping a coffee, acknowledging the children's joy over his morning paper. Mom walks around from the counter with plates filled with pancakes and places them in front of the children. The two kids, a boy and a girl, look at each other, their disappointment visible as they slowly grab a fork and go to take a half hearted bite into the prepared food. When all of a sudden from the breezeway a gust of warm air blasts into the kitchen, the curtains flail back, Dad's paper bends towards his face as Mom's hair is flying backwards, then you hear "AHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY TIRED OF DA SAME OD BREK FAST MON? TAKE BREK FEEST TO A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL STAR" and in comes Kellogg's mascot for the new cereal Cinnamon Jacks. The kid's eyes light up as a giant Cinnamon Stick with dreadlocks and a Jamaican hat pours bowls of this new cereal down for the children. The wind is still blowing as palm trees and other Jamaican cinnamon sticks are playing the steal drums behind the parents, who are now having a good time, and another cinnamon stick presents them with some fruity adult beverage.

I guess I understand. In a world where there's a mascot for everything, it was only a matter of time before the Cinna-Mon, and his golden eyebrow piercing, made his way into our homes.

 When you open the box of Cinnamon Jacks, you don't exactly smell cinnamon. It's there, like a faint cinnamon ghost is haunting the box, too weak to be able to get any actual smell in there. That kind of sets up the tone of the whole cereal. I kind of expected to get blasted with a puff of weed smoke when I opened the box, maybe in Colorado?

 Cinnamon Jacks has two tiers to it. The first being the crunch tier, where it's a typical corn based cereal, which you'd swear to ANYTHING that it was just Apple Jacks. They even cut your mouth the same way. But then on the second tier, where you get a good amount of sog, the ghost of Cinna-Mon's father rears his head and decided it's time to reveal himself to the world. Not that the cinnamon flavor is really too much different, you just get to actually taste some of it that's been hiding inside the cut up bits of painful ceramic tiles they call "Jacks".

This cereal is ok, I don't think it warrants an endless loop of me eating it, but I took the picture and now we're all stuck with it. The best part of the cereal is the mascot, which I guess is the only thing that matters to Big Cereal. It sold me, but I won't be picking this up again. 
I give Cinnamon Jacks a


  1. Bravo *gives standing ovation* yet another fabulous review. You really captured the essence of that wonderfully fictional commercial. Kellogg’s should consider hiring you.

    Good day.

  2. thanks ye11low! i'm waiting to hear from Kellogg's main office. Should be any day now!

  3. Woah!!
    I love this cereal, man. It's my absolute favorite. Your tastbuds aren't Rastafarian enough! They aren't prepared for the delicious cinnamon sugar!

  4. "your tastebuds aren't rastafarian enough" may be the best comment we've received on this ste.