Aunt Marie's Gourmet Kettle Baked popcorn

What is the best part of writing for a food blog? One might think it's the recognition and fame. Having people stop me in the supermarket to get me to sign an autograph for them. "Hey man, I really enjoyed your last Ben & Jerrys's review, it really spoke to me." I smile, kiss their baby, and I'm on my way.

You might think this is the best part. But it's not. The best part is when you get stuff in the mail to review. Some days you come home and there is a package, post marked to THE FATGUYFOODBLOG HEADQUARTERS. We tear them open like a child on Christmas day, arms raised to the sky, rejoicing. Those are the best days. We had one recently when we received a box from Aunt Marie's Gourmet Kettle Bake popcorn. 

Irwin got to the package before we did. 

Inside were the two premiere flavors, Chocolate and Praline. The package let's you know that this is THE WORLD'S ONLY BAKED POPCORN. The more I thought of it, I've never heard of baked popcorn, so that is probably true. I figured this was true also because of how serious the woman on the bag looks. She doesn't seem like someone who would steer me wrong. I'm guessing she is the Aunt Marie in question, creator of the baked popcorn phenomenon. Originally I had thought that the popcorn was maybe baked in an oven, because of the name. But some research on their website made me realize that it's popped and then the flavor concoctions are then applied and baked into the corn after. 

Praline = delicious!

First up was the Praline flavor. It was quite delicious. It has a sweet, almost vanilla flavor. It's very different from regular flavored popcorn though. It must be the baking process because it's not coated in powder and it's not a glaze. It's somewhere in between. 

It's very unique. Unlike any other popcorn I've ever had, and Jack, I've had my fair share of popcorn and more. Every bite bursts with sweet flavor. The color made me think toffee but the flavor seems to be somewhere between that and caramel.

Chocolate popcorn?! IT EXISTS!

Next up was the chocolate flavor. Right from the get go you can take a look at it and know it's going to be intense, just judging from the color and how much chocolate it has on it. One thing is for sure, Aunt Marie didn't skimp on the flavor. 

The chocolate flavor was kind of like Cocoa Puffs. Mixed with popcorn. How could that be bad? It's like some snack wizard waved his staff through the air and married his two favorite snacks into one. Again, it's not quite a glaze, but also not quite a powder. It's somewhere in between. But still absolutely delicious. 

All in all I would definitely scoop some of this up if I were you. Whip out the ol' credit card and buy some online. You can check their site, which aside from being able to order some of this great popcorn, has the back story to how it was created. You can find it all here: http://www.kettlebake.net/index.html

I give both the Praline & Chocolate flavors an A!

Review by Rich.

GET READY TO PUKE: It's Cumberland Farms Soda!

As a child growing up grabbing 3 liter pineapple soda's from my local Cumberland Farms, riding hands free on my mountain bike, clutching a hefty 64oz fountain drink as a way to celebrate a job well done on my paper route, I am in no way unaccustomed to cheap soda. CF has seen fit to throw it's hat into the 20oz bottled soda biz and give us these two fine concoctions, Cotton Candy Commander, and Strawberry Monkey. There were a few others there but these seemed the most appealing to my little fat sweet teeth.

all I could choke down from these wretched offerings!

As you can tell from the post title, I didn't like either of them, so here's a quick run down of both of the flavors.

Cotton Candy Commander: Has a solid grasp on what cotton candy tastes like, and i do have to say, it's not THAT bad, but the worst thing about it is that after the first mouthful of liquid sugar, every tooth you have in your head begins to throb with pain, each one crying out as to why you'd wash this sweet tasting blue poison over their little white bodies.

Strawberry Monkey: there's never a good fake strawberry flavor, it's like the lab tech boys at CF when trying to brew up this horror had never tried a strawberry once in their lives, nor did the people that taste tested it. the only reason it's so aptly named "strawberry monkey" because whatever cancer inducing chemicals they decided to dye this non potable horror water with happens to be red. the blood of dead monkeys swirled into a nest of carbonated chemical bath. The worst part of Strawberry Monkey happens to be the after taste. I really have no clue what it is, but after you swallow down a load of hot strawberry monkey, you instantly want to get the flavor out of your mouth by any means necessary.

 The Quick and Dirty:
i give these two offerings to the soft drink gods an

F
just absolutely terrible. no thank you. i'm not even going to bother 

with any of the other flavors that are raised

 from this so called "farm"
-josh

Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy

Back when I did the review for the Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Nougat Crunch Ice cream, I told the tale of choosing that one over the Chocolate Therapy flavor. When I realized the error of my ways and went back to find it a day later, they were sold out. So my search blossomed into the ice cream version of a full scale man-hunt. I checked every gas station, residence, warehouse, farm house, hen house, out house and dog house in my area. Finally, I found it. 

Irwin couldn't have cared less. 

So how is it? Well...it's weird. Let me start with this, IT IS DELICIOUS. But it's also weird. It honestly doesn't seem like it's ice cream. I know, I know, that makes zero sense. But it's true.

Looks almost like the surface of a Chocolate planet.

Ben and Jerry tell you that this ice cream is: Chocolate Ice Cream with Chocolate Cookies & Swirls of Chocolate Pudding Ice Cream. That sounds like an overload of chocolate that a human being might not be able to handle. Here's the thing though, it doesn't taste like all of those things at all. It tastes more like someone was baking a batch of brownies and then at the last minute decided to freeze the batter. But right before they toss it in the freezer, they mix in some pudding and a few chocolate chips for good measure. There was no time when I was eating this that I ever took a bite and tasted "ICE CREAM", not even close.

It's sickeningly delicious.

      It's like a big mess of frozen chocolate STUFF. But it's damn good. I could have demolished this entire pint in no time flat, if it wasn't for my Green Lantern-like willpower. I put the pint back in the freezer and went back to it the next day, to be sure my taste buds were really tasting something this crazy with chocolate and it wasn't just some sort of fever dream.
     So if you're looking for a really good ice cream, for it's ice cream, this isn't what you want. But if you want something that is gross with chocolate, something that is going to make you say something out loud about how delicious it is, and then keep spooning it into your face non-stop, this is for you.
    I give it a B+. It would have been higher, but I feel like Ben and Jerry are trying to fool you here. This is no ice cream. It should be called CONTAINER OF DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE STUFF THAT IS COLD. Or something along those lines.  But I liked it!

You can tell I liked it by the thumbs up I am giving. 

DORITOS JACKED

Listen up, Jack! Doritos just stepped up their game! How?
Well...they got JACKED! Three new flavors that boast on the bag that they are not only BIGGER than regular old Doritos, but they are also BOLDER AND THICKER!
I know what you're saying..."Come on Fatguyfoodblog ...is it possibly that Doritos can deliver on all three of these declarations?" You have doubt about the Jacked Doritos...and that's why you've come here, to read the truth. Well let me tell you this...They are indeed bigger, bolder AND thicker.
Let me put it to you this way. If this was me as a regular Dorito...

Hey, it's me...a plain old regular Dorito...

THEN THIS WOULD BE ME AS A JACKED DORITO...

JACKED!

Makes sense now right? NOW FOR THE REVIEWS!

First off is the Smoky Chipotle BBQ flavor. These have a great taste! If anyone remembers the bbq Doritos that had a limited run, these are quite like those, but with more of a bite. After three of these chips your mouth is burning pretty good. It's not a terrible burn and it definitely doesn't take away from the flavor. It's a sweet, smoky bbq.

They are definitely bigger and thicker then a regular Dorito... but that's not really a good thing. They are a bit harder to eat. One chip ends up being two or three bites now. You can't just pop one in your mouth. The thickness changes the taste a bit. They almost seem more like a corn chip now.
But all in all not bad. I enjoyed the small bag of these that I sampled. I did have to keep taking breaks due to the hotness, but they tasted so good that as soon as the burn would subside I came back for more.

Next up is the Enchilada Supreme flavor. Same deal. Bigger. Thicker. Bolder. Bold in that they are plastered with flavor dust. The downside here is that the flavor is basically a stronger version of their taco flavor. It's a cheesy generic taco seasoning flavor. They aren't awful. We ate a bunch of them, but there was never a time when I looked around and said, "HEY THESE CHIPS ARE FANTASTIC!"

Notice the abundance of flavor dust.

Of the two I think I like the bbq better. But Irwin liked these just fine...

Irwin about to get JACKED.

There was also a third flavor...but I didn't buy it. Party because I didn't notice until I had already paid and was leaving the store. Also because after how spicy the Smoky Chipotle bbq were, I was scared that this flavor would just be a scorcher that I would hate, so I made the command decision to leave these out of the review...

Ranch Dipped Hot Wings... I just imagine them being hellish. I could be wrong. They could be delicious. If anyone out there has tried these, throw a comment on this post and let us know how they are!

So in the end, Doritos wasn't lying. These chips are Jacked. They are bigger. They are bolder. They are thicker. Are they better than regular Doritos? I don't think so. But they're interesting and something new. I'd say they're worth a try. If not for anything else, it's fun to yell to your buddies, "It's time to get Jacked!" As you rip open a bag.
I give the BBQ a B- & the Enchilada a C+
Review by Rich.

Classic BLT Lays!

+

=

Yup. It's a good time to be a food blogger. Chip companies just keep on going, searching for weirder flavors, mixing chemicals like they're egotistical crazy scientists on a series of never-ending dares. "What? You think I can't make a chip taste like a BLT sandwich? HA! I'LL SHOW YOU!"

"I'LL DO IT! I SWEAR! I CAN MAKE CHIPS TASTE LIKE ANYTHING I WANT!"

When our friend let us know that he had seen Lays BLT chips at a Hannaford, I thought he was making it up. When I went to 3 different stores looking for them, I was sure it was some horrible joke. How could something like that exist without me knowing about it? When I finally saw them at Walmart last night, I almost laughed out loud. When I finally tasted them, I actually did laugh out loud. 

Why? Because they taste exactly like a BLT sandwich. Try them, you'll see. You'll taste bacon first. Then a weird bread/mayonnaise combination. Then a hint of tomato. You'll never taste lettuce, because maybe, just maybe, that's the 1 flavor they couldn't mimic. But let's be honest here, is the L really that important in the BLT? It's pretty much a filler if you ask me. It's the bread, mayo, tomato and BACON that you want. And that's exactly what you'll get in this bag of chips. 

The only problem with these may be the one thing that plagues all weird flavors of chips- lastability. Apparently that's not a word, but you know what I mean. Do they get old quickly? Do you want to eat more than 20 of them? Is this a flavor you want to accompany a meal? Do you want a BLT sandwich as a side to whatever else you're eating? That's the question. 

I found that initially, I didn't think they'd work, but when I had them next to a chicken and broccoli flatbread sandwich today, they were still pretty awesome. Overtime, I mostly tasted bacon and the weird but very awesome bread/mayo combo flavor. And slightly weird bacon chips work well as a side. SO, let's hope these last, because although I may not get them as much as some of the other classics on the shelf, these are definitely worth snacking on from time to time. BLT CHIPS! What will they think of next?!

B    ...lt

"those chips taste like bread? oh my god..." (he loves bread)

Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Nougat Crunch

The fine gents at FATGUYFOODBLOG.COM like nothing more then stumbling upon new flavors of Ben & Jerry's while visiting the supermarket. However a dilemma usually presents itself when one of us goes there solo, and there are two new flavors. That happened to me the other day when I found CHOCOLATE NOUGAT CRUNCH & CHOCOLATE THERAPY. You see, fat guys don't want to be seen buying multiple pints of ice cream at once, to keep the illusion that perhaps they aren't nearly as fat as they look. TWO PINTS?! Why the lady at the register would probably point and laugh.
Ridiculous, I know. But that's how it goes. I won't let myself get more than one. So I have to make the big choice. I fear this time I may have chosen wrong...

Seems interesting, right?

Sweet Cream Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Wafer Cookies & a Chocolate Nougat Swirl... I thought this sounded like a neat mixture, while the Chocolate Therapy was just a handful of chocolate items together that sounded like it might be a Chocolate Overload. So I went this route. First off, the ice cream itself, Sweet Cream Ice Cream, to be exact, is nothing special. It's....sweet. It's like generic ice cream. It's not even vanilla. It's just ice cream that is sweet.

Like the surface of an alien world...

Then there's the Fudge Covered Wafer Cookies. They are alright. A little nugget of wafer cookie surrounded in waxy chocolate to keep it from getting soggy. Sometimes this didn't work, and you find ones that obviously had sprung a leak and you bite in and it's squishy. It reminded me of the Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels in Chubby Hubby. Except that worked much better because the pretzels were salty to offset the sweetness of the ice cream. These? They are just sweet. And crispy. Except when they are squishy.

Peep that Nougat swirl. Like finding Gold in the Rockies. 

Then there's the Chocolate Nougat Swirl. There's lots of it. Huge, thick veins running through the pint. It's tasty, like nougat tends to be. Creamy and chocolate. You'll find yourself digging at these veins and following them to their end, while leaving the rest of the ice cream to melt.

It's not a bad ice cream, but it's not great. The Nougat Swirl is the best part and the Wafer chunks are okay. But it feels like they forgot something here. Just something the break up a bunch of sweet things combining to make a bigger sweet thing. There needs to be a different flavor to make things interesting.

Seeing that  I may have made a bad decision, I went back to the store a day later the grab the other pint and planned on doing a post with both flavors, but Chocolate Therapy was gone. It's shelf empty.
But there were still a few Chocolate Nougat Crunches left.
What's that tell you?
I give it a straight C.
Review by Rich.

Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Taco ....

Is there anyone out there who REALLY likes a regular old hard shell taco? The crappy hard shell, that keeps you from being able to load ridiculous amounts of toppings onto it? The hard shell that is usually tasteless and the instant you bite it, it shatters into a thousand pieces and dumps the taco's innards onto your shirt and lap?

Are there really people that like these? 

Sigh. Apparently, yes. I don't understand it. But there are. I, myself enjoy a soft taco, if I'm going to eat tacos. But for the most part, I just don't eat them. Why?

Burritos are better. 

Since we got a Chipotle within driving distance from here, I very rarely venture into Taco Bell. I prefer premium ingredients to fast food. Call me a snob but it's true. 

But that didn't stop me when I heard that Taco Bell was making a taco with a shell made out of DORITO. In fact, I was excited about it. I heard about it a month ago and then it vanished from my brain.

Until I was driving home last night and saw the huge sign in the window of taco bell as I blew past it in the Fatguyfoodblogmobile. Instant U-turn and I was ordering a couple to go at the drive through. 

Whaaaa? A taco with a DORITO SHELL???

So for starters, the thing is TINY. Hard shell tacos are small anyway, right? This one? Feels like you can barely fit a taste of each ingredient in here before the thing is filled to the brim. How many tacos like this are you supposed to eat in one sitting? 15? 

See? Is it even an inch wide?

My first bite found that near the bottom, where the beef touches the shell, it was pretty soggy. The next bite, near the top? Mostly crispy...but it felt slightly stale. Did it taste like Doritos? Yeah...kinda. I mean, the taste is definitely there, if you lick the outside of the shell, it's that same Nacho cheese flavor. You can't deny it. 

SO ORANGE.

But it could have more of the flavor. I feel like it gets lost with the other taco flavors and isn't as intense as it should be. The biggest flavor is the gross beef. Yes. Gross. It's like they shred up rancid animal carcasses and toss a bag of Mexican spice in it. It's just nasty. So that was the big strike against it in the first place. I tried to put my hatred for Taco Bell beef aside to do this review, but let's be honest here. It was really tough. 

Should you try this? SURE. it's cheap and everyone is talking about it, so why not?

Will you love it? Doubtful. Unless you are a die hard Taco Bell fan, I can't see anyone raving about it. 

But try it. It's a taco with a DORITO SHELL!

I give it a C. And that's being nice. 

But if you want to see an awkward video of me reviewing this thing, HERE YA GO!