Cheese Wizards Food Truck!

Since I moved to Seattle a year ago I've been trying as many restaurants, food trucks, bakeries and specialty shops as I can. There's maybe a million of them so I have my work cut out for me. But one there was one that I wanted to try over them all, that somehow eluded me. That one? The Cheese Wizards. Legend has it these wizards use forbidden magic to create some of the greatest grilled cheese sandwiches that this land has ever known.  I had seen the truck around, but usually parked for the night. Once it drove by me when I was out for an adventure and when I stopped to watch it pass, the driver looked over at me and tipped his giant wizard hat. Yes, you read that right. The wizard behind the wheel was wearing a giant wizard hat. 

So when I heard they were finally coming to my neighborhood I decided the time had come for FGFB to meet...

THE CHEESE WIZARDS. 

When I arrived they were still setting up, so I used this time wisely to creep around and take a good look at their truck. I have to say, there's a lot of food trucks out there that embrace their gimmicks, but none hold a candle to the Cheese Wizards. 

The bright yellow of the truck is so vibrant that it could easily be seen by even the most blind of cave trolls. The front of the truck is decorated with dual battle axes and owls.

Their logo is everywhere you look and for good reason. It's just about the greatest logo I have ever seen. Second only to our own, of course.

Their menu is fantastic. It's dubbed the Nom-Nomicon and features such wonderful sandwiches as, "The Goblin King, the Voldemortadella, the Forest Lord, and the original Cheese Wizard. The menu has a ton of great little hidden jokes and references. My favorite was where they call bacon their "Highest level flavor magic."

After much deliberation I decided to keep it simple so I got the Cheese Wizard with Bacon while my lady friend decided she wanted to take on the Voldemortadella.  The actual wizards themselves were awesome. Fun guys, joking around, answering any questions anyone had. They also gave out free hot apple cider. And here I thought they might just be conjurers of cheap tricks!

Once we ordered I was too excited. It didn't take long at all for our sandwiches to be ready. But in my brain it was a lifetime. I stood there like...

But when the head Wizard suggested we check out their sauce station, I instantly perked up. Sauces you say? Something every fat man loves? And so many that it needs a station? What manner of witchcraft was this guy spinning?

Not only was there an ornate sauce station, featuring six special sauces, (as well as some standard sauces in bottles),  but check out the artwork that accompanied them...

Adventure Time?!?! Could the Cheese Wizards be any cooler?

Oh, and just so you know, you have to milk your sauce of choice from this thing like it's a cows udder. Both cool and kind of gross at the same time!

Suddenly my name was called. My sandwich was ready. The Cheese Wizard in the truck handed it out to me like this:

And before I closed up the box he reminded me to grab a sauce before I left. I looked into the box and saw one, single sauce cup. Immediately I realized that they probably only give you one sauce per sandwich because it's mentioned on the menu. I didn't want to be the fat guy asking for extra sauce cups, so I approached the Wizards Sauce station with a little bit of sadness in my heart, knowing I could only try one...

But in the end I couldn't choose just one. So I squirted some of the Smaugs Smokey BBQ into the box, and filled the sauce cup with Merlins Magic Mustard Honey, closed up the box and began the journey home.  Why didn't we eat them there? No good lighting for pictures! So after a quick jaunt over the Misty Mountains, we got home and it was finally time to experience what the Cheese Wizards had conjured up for us.

Behold, the Cheese Wizard.  Heaps of Tillamook cheddar and lots of creamy Monterey Jack on buttery french bread. Plus I added bacon. The menu let me know that it's a "classic grilled cheese loved by apprentices and old maesters alike." I took one bite and I was like:

So. Good. The bread is perfectly cooked. Buttery and crispy on the outside. Inside, a ridiculous mixture of creamy cheeses and bacon. Every bite was perfect. It was the kind of sandwich that you savor. Every bite was slowly chewed so I could enjoy it.

After the first bite I was fully under the Cheese Wizards spell. Incredible all around. When dipped in the sauces it was even better. The mustard was sweet but had a nice bite to it and the bbq was dark and smokey. I wouldn't have wanted either sauce on every bite of this sandwich,  so I was glad I had the option to dip. Not that the sauces were bad, at all, but because the sandwich alone was so damn good. It was great to go from a bite with nothing on it, to one with sauce and back.

If I have one negative thing to say about Cheese Wizards it's gotta be the side salad. Listen, on Fatguyfoodblog, we're never going to praise salad. Not once, ever. Now, I understand they are trying to have a healthier option here to go with the cheese packed sandwich. Especially out here in Seattle, people are very conscious of what they eat. I also know that having a frialator in a food truck is a pain in the ass, which is why a lot of them don't offer fries. But the salad isn't the best fit for this, especially when you're taking your sandwich home. By the time you dig in, the greens are a bit warm and soggy and it's just weird. Did I eat mine? Yes I ate every bite. I'm not a fool, I know this body needs some green if it's going to run at 110% at all time, but I think I would have rather had a handful of chips instead of salad. Or...in a perfect world, some Tater Tots.

I also got to try a bite of the Voldemortadella, but I won't spend too much time on it because I didn't eat the entire thing. It was also a magical sandwich. The menu says it's "Provolone and Mozzarella, cream cheese, mortadella, salami, black forest ham, and herbed olive muffeletta." The stand out flavors in this were definitely cheese and olives. If you like olives, you would lose your mind over this. I found it to be a very unique and interesting bite. I might actually get this one the next time I visit the Wizards!

In the end, when we were finished and I'm looking back on my dinner with the Cheese Wizards over a pipe full of the halflings leaf, I have to say, I'm quite impressed all around. Not only is their presentation second to none, but the entire experience was fun, and the food was incredible. Some might say the price tag is a little steep for a grilled cheese sandwich, but I honestly wouldn't think twice about. Worth every cent.

So if you're cruising through Seattle and you spy that familiar logo on the site of a giant, yellow caravan covered in owls and axes, hop on your horse and follow it through the fields of Rohan and through the Fangorn Forest until it reaches it's stop. Tell them Fatguyfoodblog sent you! Then let the Cheese Wizards work their magic. Trust me, you'll be happy you did.

I give the Cheese Wizards a solid A!

For more information check out the Cheese Wizards online HERE and be sure to LIKE their Facebook page HERE.

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Review by Rich

Soulfire BBQ in Allston, MASS!

Quite recently I was disturbed to see a review for a hoity-toity, highfalutin, what-in-tarnation-the-dang-heck-is-this vegetarian bistro on our site. I could barely bring myself to read it, afraid that some kind of traumatic brain injury had suddenly afflicted Josh that would only become more apparent as I read on. Before I did, I decided to head out to my local meat shack in sunny Allston, MA, in a hasty attempt to regain credibility with our dear readers. Later I actually read his review and was actually quite pleased to see its meager C- rating. I should’ve known Josh wouldn’t have let me down like that! But at least the experience got me out to try a place in my ‘hood I’ve wanted to try out for a few months now. Ladies and gents, I present Soulfire BBQ.

I’ll start by saying this- if this review sways you to check the place out, you need to walk to it on the side street behind it. Not only will you avoid the riff-raff on one of the grungiest streets of Allston, Harvard Ave, you can enjoy one of the most pleasant smells known to humanity; the entire neighborhood smells completely of smoked meat. For those of you who have no clue what Allston is (99% of our readers, which equals out to about 4.8 readers), it’s a neighborhood in Boston on the B branch of the Green Line, close to Boston University.

If you find yourself in the city looking for quality grub but less crowds, it really is a great place to check out. Soulfire BBQ sticks out like a sore thumb on Harvard Ave amongst the mind-bogglingly numerous Korean restaurants and dive bars. And as I said before, take the right streets to get there and you can Toucan Sam all the way there.

I looked over the menu, salivating as I looked over all of the tried-and-true BBQ classics- ribs, steak, wings, etc. Then I saw something that caught my eye. A Reuben sandwich. Stay with me here, folks. Not just any Reuben sandwich, a Reuben with an intriguing twist. It had all the necessities- marble rye, coleslaw, and thousand island, but in place of pastrami these crazy BBQ brains replaced it with brisket!!

Brisket on a Reuben sandwich? NOW THAT’S CRAAAAAAZAAAYY

I said to myself, hey, why not. I like Reuben sandwiches and I like brisket. And if that’s not fat enough for the FGFB I’ll start myself out with some FRIED MAC+CHEESE, a novelty food so delicious it should be renamed God’s Testicles. That’ll do the trick.

But these didn’t look like omnipotent testes at all, for they were SQUARE!!

SQUARE FRIED MAC AND CHEESE NOW I KNOW THIS PLACE IS KOOKY!!

Kooky it was, reader. Because when I bit in to that thing, I wasn’t instantly covered by the cheesy Charlotte’s Web I had imagined when I ordered it. No, no. Disappointingly in its place I found only macaroni with cheese so sparse you would’ve thought it was a dystopian era of cheese Prohibition! And the restaurant was right across from the old-tyme police station! And a time-travelling cheese bandit had broken down his time machine there and decided to hit the place while he was salvaging parts!

No queso, NO BUENO

But, being the resourceful gentleman I am, I decided to use the disappointing Mac squares as a vehicle for sampling the five BBQ sauces provided on our table. There emerged the real star of this show, a truly delicious BBQ sauce known only as “Pitboss”. And call the pitboss I did because I had hit the jackpot of BBQ sauces. This BBQ sauce was so good the time-travelling cheese bandit tasted it and decided to give up his queso-hunting career, broke his time machine, and become a server at Soulfire where he could eat it any day to his heart’s content. Yeah- it’s a really good BBQ sauce.

Then came out my Reuben. The brisket was juicy, flavorful, and tender, and was complimented quite well by the peppery-semi-sour coleslaw, and sauce Pitboss.

While it was a great sandwich, I really should’ve seen through this shallow facade before I ordered. There’s a reason why pastrami usually comes with pastrami, because it’s probably the best meat paired with the other elements. The brisket was great by itself but altogether, it just didn’t really belong.

I’m going to have to stick this Soulfire experience with a C+, the plus coming as a direct result of that really excellent barbecue sauce. Maybe if the fried mac was a bit more cheesy, I could’ve chalked up my Reuben disappointment to a poor ordering decision on my part. But, as what should’ve been an easy home run ended up being a ground-roll double, it left this reviewer skeptical of the restaurant’s other offerings. Alas, eat and learn.

Sl33zy

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Quiznos Lobster Seafood salad sub!

Whenever I hear of a chain restaurant adding Lobster to their menu it usually comes along with a scoff. "Pssh, Lobster. Yeah like that's going to taste anything like the real thing." Or "Psssh, Lobster. That's probably going to cost an arm and a leg." So when we got some emails from readers asking us to check out the new Quiznos Lobster seafood salad sub, we really weren't into it at first. One of our writers can't stand any seafood at all. Another only likes his lobster if a real man cracks it open and gives him the meat. So, that left me. Well I'm not one to turn down a challenge, so let's get to it!

Gotta have that Raspberry Lemonade!

I marched into my local Quiznos to get one of these bad boys and I was not expecting the best. You see, I spent a large portion of my youth in Maine, LOBSTER COUNTRY! THEY HAVE A LOBSTER ON THEIR DAMN LICENSE PLATE, SON! There are lobster men on one side of the family. As a coming of age, I once had to challenge my dad to a lobster eating contest. He won by a claw but I did so well I earned the right to be called a man. Also my friend Matt puts together an annual lobster feed where a bunch of us just get together and see how many lobsters we can eat before we are all so full we want to die. It's glorious.  So chain restaurant lobster had a long way to go to dazzle me. But I'm open minded and Quiznos usually does right by me. So I walked in, ordered the Lobster on the Jalapeno Cheddar Bread, and all I got for additions were lettuce and onion! Keeping it simple to let the lobster shine!

This guy didn't care about making it pretty. 

Before I took a bite I took a look under the hood to see what I was dealing with first hand. It didn't look as nice as the picture on the sign did, but come on,  they never do. EVER. The one in the picture looked kind of like perfect little balls of lobster meat. I actually thought this looked more like real lobster because I could see chunks of claws in addition to tail meat. But it was time to dig in, so with one more cross eyed glare of uncertainty, I bit into it...

Even when he's not REALLY here Irwin is still hovering for food. 

It took me two or three bites of this sandwich to actually realize that it wasn't bad. I was so prepared for it to be! In fact, it was decent. Actually...it was somehow pretty damn good. There were big chunks of lobster all through it and a minimal amount of mayo so the lobster really was the main flavor. They buttered the bun before they send it through the toaster and it ended up adding that familiar flavor of dunking the lobster in butter. I quickly finished the first half and sat back to mull it over while crunching down a few Doritos. 

Chock full of Lobster goodness! 

I think my choice of the jalapeno cheddar bread was a good one. It added a little zing to the flavor on the back end that I really enjoyed. But all in all, I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed the Quiznos Lobster seafood salad! They didn't skimp on the lobster at all and the combined flavors reminded me of some great Lobster rolls I had eaten in the past. Now, I'm not going to tell you it's as good as cracking that sea bug open and digging the meat out yourself. Nothing beats that. But my friends, if you're looking for a quick fix of lobster and don't have the time or money to bring some home and cook them up yourself, head on over to your local Quiznos and they will hook you up!

Which brings me to my next point. Would you like Quiznos to hook YOU up? Well we contacted them and they agreed to send one of our lucky readers a gift card in the mail so that they could go try the Lobster seafood salad for themselves! What do you have to do to win? Just comment on this review! One lucky commenter will be chosen at random and get to eat on Quiznos dime! FREE LOBSTER SUB?! YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT!

So get commenting, folks! You can't win if you don't comment!

As always, if there's an item you spied at your local grocery or convenience store that you want us to review, or you're wondering about that new Fast Food item that everyone has been talking about, please let us know! You can email us at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com . Or you can hit us up on Twitter: @fatguyfoodblog , or even check our our Facebook page! www.facebook.com.fatguyfoodblog . WE ARE EVERYWHERE! We love to hear from you, our readers. Did you agree with our review? No? Do you think we are awesome? Do you think we suck? Let us know!

For more info on Quiznos Lobster items, hit up their website here: https://www.quiznos.com/Menu/deli-style-sub-sandwich/lobster-seafood-salad-sandwich.aspx

-Review by Rich

Eckrich Bacon Lovers Deli Meats!

Once in a while we get a little weird here at FGFB. Sometimes we're asked what we think about certain food items, and even if it's not what you usually see on FGFB, we'll give it a try.

That's kind of what happened when the kind folks over at Eckrich asked us what we thought of their new bacon infused deli line! Wasn't sure how we'd go about reviewing some different meats, but we figured, why not how deli meats are naturally consumed, in an All American sandwich!

 I know it's Canadian White, but they're our brothers to the North!

If you're all done judging the kind of sandwich I'm about to make, just listen. I wanted to go classic, but sans lettuce, because honestly, lettuce does absolutely nothing for a sandwich. If you're looking for something crazy, might I suggest our other brothers to the north, Epic Meal Time.

These called for a thin layer of mayo, a slice of tomato, a few onion rings, with a slice of american, the only thing missing is a pickle, but I figured a pickle would completely overpower any of the flavor of the meats. So I made 2, each with a different kind of Eckrich Bacon Lovers Deli Meat.

First up, Bacon Infused Turkey!

Of course before I slapped a handfull of slices onto the white bread, I had to have one or two. First impression of the meat was how incredibly salty it was. I understand why, and how it got that way, but honestly, I could barely eat the whole slice. It made me Judge Dredd face knowing I had to eat an entire sandwich of what was basically flattened down salt with some bacon chunks, that they drove past a turkey going 90 mph to get the faintest of turkey flavor onto the meat. Now, before you write this off, just wait till the end of the post.

The real question is if Irwin likes it.

YEP!

Now for the real test of the meat, was how it tasted inside of a sandwich. I'm extremely weirded out that when I bit into it, the flavor of the meat completely changed, and you could taste the turkey breast and hints of bacon. I think maybe the other items in the sandwich nullified the salt content, thus clearing the way for the real meat flavor to shine. I don't think it'll completely replace the need for bacon and separate turkey, but in a jam, I think this Bacon Lovers Turkey Breast will do just nicely.

Next on the list, Eckrich's Bacon Ranch Chicken Breast!

Of course I couldn't wait to get this slice of meat into my mouth. Something that has this much promise, this much riding on it. A whole generation of teen stoners remember the world before Chicken Bacon Ranch pizza, and not a one of them wants to go back. I was hoping that this deli meat would do for the casual sandwich crowd what it did for pizza lovers everywhere. Did it? Well let's see if Irwin likes it first.

YEP!

So when I sampled a slice, pre sandwich, I had a similar disdain for the meat as I had the last one. It just tasted like cold wet salt, with no real chicken breast flavor, and ranch specs that tasted eerily like someone rolled the deli meat on the ground, and if the ground was made of pepper. At least the bacon was decent inside this. Oddly, the SAME EXACT PHENOMENON happened when I went full sandwich with this, the saltiness disappeared and we were left with some sort of meat, couldn't really tell it was chicken, and some bacon bits. Not bad, but it didn't blow my hair back or my tongue out of my mouth.

In conclusion, the scientists at Eckrich have perfected the art of fusing animals together for the purposes of deli meats like some sort of twisted delicious Isle of Dr. Moreau. The meats however were pretty deceptive. On their own, just a salty squishy meat of unknown origins. So the final ingredient to these meats MUST be the sandwich, the combination of which unlocks, not really mind blowing flavor, but some, and fails to impress overall. But I think Eckrich has their mind right and I'm sure with time they'll figure out how to make this selection of meats a little more flavorful for their bacon loving demographic.

"Man Josh, did I make these sandwiches for breakfast? You look tired!"  Yes. Yes I did.

 I give these meats a C.
-josh

ON THE ROAD: Nardelli's Grinder Shoppe

One of the bennies of having a girlfriend who lives a 6-9 hour drive away, depending on traffic, is that I get to stop at what is probably my favorite sandwich shop. I've sampled a small arsenal of grinders they have to offer, and every single one of them has been absolutely stellar. So if you'd like to read a post kissing ass of a sandwich shop you'll probably never pass, proceed on, if not, may I suggest picking up a FGFB tee shirt from the link on the right with the time I've just saved you.

As an Italian grinder shoppe this place sings. Everything is made fresh and on hand, the displays of different salads, calzones, and cheeses is enough to bring a fat man to tears. They also boast a lobster bisque, which I'm told sells out within a few hours of them offering it. Every. Time. I suggest starting your Nardelli's experience correctly with an Italian combo. Pruzitini, capicola, salami, and provolone topped with diced veggies, tomatoes, lettuce, olives, mayo and hots on a freshly baked grinder roll. That's the sandwich that sold me on this place and I've never been disappointed. I often times go with the chicken salad when I come here, a sandwich that's probably heavier than most large deep dish pan pizzas.

So as a review for this place I decided to get a sandwich I often avoid to stay in favor with some kind of Italian theme, but hey, everyone in line snags this sandwich up, so I might as well pull the trigger.
This trip I went with a large buffalo chicken grinder with diced veggies, blue cheese, olives, hots, and provolone.

meal deal!

The chicken pieces they put in these sandwiches are huge, if not pretty. Biting into it for the first time reveals the freshness of the veggies, popped on top of it a strong classic olive taste, then in the background, comes rushing in the buffalo chicken.

As soon as the stage is set for the buffalo, the spiciness stays in your mouth, even after several swigs of soda and a few chips. After the next delicious bite you get to experience it all of again, but this time with the buffalo beginning, and ending, the sandwich. Like a grinder inside of a grinder. I tried for some Inception joke there, but I just couldn't hit anything solid.

Onto my gripes with the piece. That's right I call it a piece because we've transcended the realm of sandwich and into the realm of art. If Andy Warhol was still alive he'd produce a 7 hour continuous shot film of scantily clad men gyrating to images of this sandwich.

My problems are three fold. I realize that as a mere mortal man I have no business questioning what the Nardelli's God commands, but, I mean to deliver my people fire.....Prometheus reference on a food blog? You're welcome.

-Cheese
This thing should be COVERED in cheese, the way it stands now, they might as well offer it without it. There's so many other flavors and textures that the cheese is just lost.

-Chicken
 I wish it was slightly crispier, if only to break up the texture and separate it from the rest of the piece.

-Olives
Hey I dig olives, but these take over the grinder. Just like a Greyjoy, they betrayed their adopted family who looked after them, raised them, and then took the grinder for themselves. (Hey season two ended a year ago)

So as a whole, I give this place nothing but my absolute highest regards. It's a shame what I chose to review ended up being slightly better than mediocre, but hey, it's an Italian grinder shop, not a seedy Greek pizza place owned by a sweaty opened shirt gold chained man who can barely speak English. Now that man, KNOWS how to make a buffalo chicken sub.

Maybe one of its other 7 locations in CT has one of these such fellows at the helm.

I give Nardelli's an A

The buff chik, a B-

Josh