A Tale of Two Quesaritos: Taco Bell vs. Chipotle

I've never been too big on Mexican food in general, so I've never really been a Taco Bell guy (except for when they add breakfast and I write 2 novels). But once I realized (someone yelled at me) that you don't have to get beans in burritos, I've recently become burrito crazy. Rice, chicken or steak, lettuce, salsa, sour cream, quac, cheese. Delicious. 

I had heard rumors of such a thing as a "Quesarito" existing at Chipotle, but Taco Bell beat them to making the name famous, recently releasing their version into the wild and actually advertising for it. 

So I hit up Taco Bell and got one. I don't think I've ever ordered a burrito from Taco Bell. I went with chicken and I was nervous. 

It wasn't very big, but it was also only 3 bucks, which I feel is fairly reasonable for this.

Biting in, mine was pretty low on rice, and the sour cream and chipotle sauce kind of mixed together into a goo. It certainly didn't look like they had advertised (yes, I realize I got a different kind of meat).

It was definitely cheesy, but was it anywhere near what the ad showed? I dissected.

not quite, but I'm not complaining

They mix together shredded cheese and a cheese sauce, which initially felt cheap- I wanted all shredded. But over time, I grew to like this combo, because, like hot american cheese in a sandwich, it made a nice creamy cheese mess of yum.

This thing was small, and Taco Bell has thin enough tortillas that I didn't really feel like I was eating 2 with cheese in between them, but this was certainly cheesy. The ingredients were subpar and pretty limited, but it was pretty tasty- at least 3 bucks at Taco Bell tasty. I might get this again but it's doubtful. I already feel the beginnings of becoming a burrito snob, so I don't see me getting a burrito at Taco Bell again any time soon, unless of course it's my only option and I've heard the call of the rito (have you heard it yet?). But if you were someone who already did get TB burritos, absolutely get this, unless you don't like cheesy, creamy deliciousness and fast food places making up crazy concoctions like this. Support crazy concoctions! 

I'll give this a C+. It's nothing incredible, but it's exactly what you'd expect it to be, and after adding breakfast to their menu, it's another big step in the right direction for Taco Bell. 

I'm not someone who is gonna let Taco Bell have this one though. I like comparisons almost as much as I apparently like spending a lot of money on food, so off to Chipotle I went to try their version. 

The quesarito is not on the menu there, but order it- they'll know. 

I know burritos from Chipotle are generally enormous anyway, but this thing was truly frightening.

Not only was it bigger than my hand and the plate I put it on to rest my arms, it was heavy as hell and the chick who made it could barely wrap it correctly.

I mean that both for tin foil and for the rito. This was the best she could do:

Chipotle's version of the quesarito is drastically different than Taco Bell's- not only in the obvious sense that you can customize the hell out of it and it's WAY bigger, but also in the fact that this is a Quesarito in its truest form. She actually made a cheese quesadilla (with monterey jack cheese (and a TON of it)), and while it was cooking, put what I wanted in a bowl. Once the quesadilla was done, she dumped the bowl's contents into the middle and attempted to turn it into a burrito. This makes a bastardized mess of a burrito, but this is truly a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla. 

Which means lots of cheese.

Here: in this picture, the cheese has globbed itself into its own layer of wrapping.

Make this picture larger. This is the amount of cheese Chipotle deals with.

INSANE

So this is delicious, but even for a larger individual who was starving, I had trouble finishing this. It's A LOT of cheese added to an already absurd burrito. The extra tortilla made it hard to eat too- the quesadilla was kind of its own thing, just with a lot of stuff inside, ready to pour out with each bite. But it was pretty mind blowing. 

I gotta say though, as awesome as this was, there were some pretty big downsides. First off, I wanted to die after eating it. Secondly, it costs 12 dollars. Yes, 12 dollars for a burrito (I got it with quac though, so without, it's probably $2.50). Third: again- I'm pretty new to burritos, but I'm pretty confident in saying that Chipotle doesn't know how to make a burrito. Maybe it's just the one I went to in Burlington, Mass. The chick who made this was nice and awfully nice to look at, but sorry hun, a burrito isn't supposed to look like this:

Top half: lettuce and quacamole:

Botton half: chicken, rice, salsa:

I don't know why they choose to make burritos the way they do. I'd go on a pages-long tirade, but this dude already did it so well, I'm going to respect him and link him. But seriously Chipotle, it's not hard to put ingredients in a line so you get each ingredient in each bite. It's even less hard to stir up the ingredients once dumped from the bowl into the quesadilla. But no- they just dump way too much stuff in a pile and wrap it into almost a circle. I really like quacamole, but I don't want the first 10 bites of my burrito to just be quac. I don't want all the meat to be in the last inch of the burrito either. It's supposed to be spread out. And it's supposed to be a tube of goodness, not a brick of ingredients sectioned off from each other. Did Martin Luther King teach us nothing?

So, essentially, A+ for the idea and possibilities, C for execution.

As much as Chipotle's poor efforts piss me off, this was real good. Maybe I need to try a different Chipotle? Maybe I should be the guy that just asks them to mix up the ingredients? Because when I got a little bit of everything in one bite, this was SO good. That was just pretty rare. 

This could be a thing of glory- a whole new super awesome and super fat take on something that's not that bad for you to begin with. But Taco Bell has the low grade fast food version and Chipotle has the higher end, I'm-actually-eating-food version, just made all wrong. Neither really got it right, but the fact that this exists at 2 huge chains at the same time could mean the beginning of more places trying this. And soon, your hole in the wall local burrito place that makes perfect burritos will be next in line. I'll be waiting, rabid for cheese, 12 dollars in hand, ready to embrace the future. 

-review by Mike

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreos!

We joke around a lot on Fatguyfoodblog about how we should change the name of our blog to FatguyOREOblog because of how many new flavors of Oreos we review. Since Nabisco are the king of cookies in 2014, there doesn't seem to be any end in sight... But with all these flavors, you have to ask yourself: Will there ever be a flavor that will rise above all others? One Oreo to rule them all? Who is heir to the Oreo Throne? Well the other day we finally got our paws on a package of the new Limited Edition Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreo cookies. The most anticipated new cookie flavor in recent memory. Do they live up? Will they take the throne? Let's find out! Ladies & Gents, here you go...

REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP OREO COOKIES!

Irwin still doesn't understand that he can't have chocolate. 

The bag alone was enough to make me cheer out loud in the store. A GIANT PEANUT BUTTER CUP IN THE BACKGROUND?!?! Sold. I have to say, seeing that Reese's logo on the package warmed my heart. I remember trying peanut butter Oreos for the first time and liking them, but saying to whoever I was with, "Imagine if this was Reese's peanut butter? That would be amazing!"

Well... turns out I was right. 

The second you rip these open, you know that you're about to experience something here. There's anticipation in the air. It's like the scent alone is telling your brain that they've hit a home run here. I had been worried that they would just slap the Reese's name on them, and we would just be getting the same old peanut butter Oreo cookies again. I'm glad I was wrong. You see, when you crack these open, one side is chocolate creme and the other is peanut butter creme. I immediately went for the peanut butter creme and then smiled like the Grinch. It's not EXACTLY Reese's peanut butter, because they had to make it an Oreo creme hybrid to hold the cookies together. But it's fantastic. You can't mistake the classic Reese's taste you've known all those years.

When eaten together, it's quite great too. The two cremes meld together to taste pretty much like a melted peanut butter cup and the cookie chunks make you think of those limited edition Reese's Crunch Cookie Cups from 100 years ago. They were, of course, awesome, and so are these. 

I haven't a bad thing to say about these and to be honest, while writing this review I ate seven of them. These seven brought the package to a close. The second package that we have gone through in Fatguyfoodblog headquarters in three days. They are that good. 

However. Are they good enough to take the crown? Have they faced all other Oreos in battle and come out the victor? Will they rule the world of sandwich cookies for some time to come? 

Yup.

Bend your knee in the presence of such greatness!

A true king sits upon the Iron Cookie Throne now...

Gotta be better than Jof, am I right? 

Long live Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreos! First of their name. King of the Oreos and all other sandwich cookies. Lord of the Seven food groups and protector of the snack realm.

So, seriously. Don't let these pass you buy. Stock your cupboards with fifty packages of them, peanut butter lovers. They won't be around for long.

But in case you still weren't sure, I give Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreos an A!

Feel free to get in touch with us if you think of something you would like us to review. Found some new snack you aren't sure about? Visit a burger joint or sandwich shop you think would be right up our alley? Let us know! You can reach us by email: fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com, Twitter: @fatguyfoodblog, or even on that Facebook thing: www.facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog !

BRGR BAR in Portsmouth NH!

When a place as cool as BRGR Bar opens up in our backyard, you know it's only a matter of time before we get the whole Fatguyfoodblog crew together and take a trip down there. How could we not? Cool name. Word of mouth told us they had an interesting menu. Word through the grapevine is that they also had crazy milkshakes. That's about all we needed to know. So here you go, we all throw our two cents in about BRGR BAR in Portsmouth, NH! 

RICH:  I started off my BRGR Bar experience by making a mistake I have often made in the past and will most surely make sometime again in the near future. I got a milkshake before my food. I know what you're thinking: "What a moron. That's going to fill him up like crazy and he won't be able to finish his food." Well, you'd be wrong. I did finish it all, but I simply wanted to die after from being so full. That being said; Damn, what a milkshake. I couldn't pass it up. When I read the words: Nutella + Marshmallow + Graham Cracker milkshake, it was like a voice from a primitive part of my brain spoke up and told me I had to get it. End of story. So how was it? 

It was like something you'd make up if you were offered three wishes from a genie. "Uh, I'd like Super powers, a trillion dollars and... A NUTELLA MARSHMALLOW GRAHAM CRACKER MILKSHAKE!" And you would not be disappointed. It was spectacular. Not too thick, not too thin, bursting with Nutella and marshmallow flavor. If you let it melt in your mouth you would find little flecks of graham cracker. Just absolutely excellent. When you get to the very end you get to slurp up a melted marshmallow that's slightly toasted on top. It's the perfect ending to a perfect shake.

JOSH:  You know what? I was insanely jealous of this thing. I'm more steak-and-potatoes-workin-man-thick and not a bearded man circle chuggin down sweets, so I opted out of getting one.

RICH: Nothing wrong with getting a milkshake with your burger and fries, Josh. It's a time honored tradition. Just because you're on a diet...

RICH: Despite telling me I was making a mistake and was going to feel awful after, I could see the jealousy in the eyes of Mike and Josh every time I took a sip and exclaimed to them how good it was. If you want some good advice from me, I'll dish it out right here. If you find yourself in BRGR Bar for a lunch or dinner, order this shake. I'm slapping an A+ rating on this bad boy with zero hesitation.

MIKE: He's right. I was jealous. I wanted to get a different shake or ADULT shake with booze in it. I wanted both, but ate before we went there since I thought the plan was for dinner, not a 3pm lunch! I may just stop in for a milkshake the next time I'm in Portsmouth.

RICH: For an appetizer I ordered up the Ricotta Sweet Potato Tots. I honestly didn't see how these could be bad and I was right. Upon delivery to our table, I was a little shocked at how few of these you get for seven bucks, but after slugging down half of that milkshake I was happy I only had a couple of these to eat after sharing with my fellow Fatguyfoodbloggers.

Crunchy outside breaded coating with a slight sweetness to it, followed by hot, gooey cheese middle. Excellent but very rich. I bet if you ate a whole order of these you would want someone to put you out of your misery. I, however would definitely recommend them. They get a B+ from me. The only downside is how few you get for your hard earned cash.

JOSH: Those were pretty good. I know what you're gonna say: "YEAH RIGHT JOSH YOU DUMB!" Just listen ok? The star of the appetizer that day were the Buffalo Brussels Sprouts. How could disgusting brussels sprouts be good? I have no clue, but the magicians at BRGR Bar somehow made these things into majestic flavorful beasts. The buffalo encasing the weird brussels sprout flavor was oddly satisfying, and dipping them into creamy gorganzola, just Michael Jordan dunked over Rich's lame ass tots. He said it to the waitress like Napoleon Dynamite: "Gimme yer tots." The flavor was unlike anything I'd had before, and was absolutely stellar.

MIKE: I'll eat something fancy or weird every now and then, but I'm generally an American Fatass when it comes to food- I like pretty basic, delicious, bad-for-me foods. I think I spit out the last Brussels Sprout I ate. The waitress kept saying "trust me, they're amazing." I don't think I would have taken the bait, but Josh is a weirdo who likes vegetables, so he did. They were incredible. I wouldn't even really say they tasted like vegetables- they were more of just something you could chew that was covered in delicious (and unique) buffalo flavoring. They weren't too hot, and they were oddly kind of sweet. And the gorganzola cheese was just fantastic. A perfect, messy mix of flavors. I have nothing but good to say about these things. 

RICH: I was very surprised that we even liked these. The waitress was very adamant that we try them. She told us numerous times that we would love them and I have to say I didn't believe here at all, but I was wrong. They were excellent. Such a weird, complex flavor. I'd definitely get them if I went there again, despite the fact that they look like something caught on an

"eat your buffalo brussels sprouts Tina"

RICH: For my burger I ordered the "OO-MOMMY," which boasts a Maine Family Farms patty topped with Gorgonzola, bacon jam, and crispy, fried onion rings. While there aren't a ton of choices on the BRGR BAR menu, I did find it pretty tough to decide which one to get, but come on, bacon jam? Onion rings? How could I NOT get this one?

Mike in the background is actually staring at my milkshake, longingly. 

The waitress said they recommend having it cooked medium, so I took her word on it, despite a nagging fear that it would be too rare for me. When it came out, it was a thing of beauty. Buttery bun glistening, massive onion rings bulging from the sides and the Gorgonzola slathered burger patty was practically still sizzling there on my plate. Since BRGR Bar is a little more fancy than your usual burger joint, I opted for cutting it in half, to lessen the chance I was going to have to scrub sauce or grease off of my shirt. After cutting it, I thought it did indeed look too pink in the middle. But after my first bite, my fears were put to rest. It was excellent!

Looked too pink, tasted tremendous. 

The onion rings have a bunch of thick batter around them and are full of great onion flavor. The bacon jam and Gorgonzola cheese melded together into a delicious sauce that I wish I could buy in a bottle. The bun was soft and chewy. I loved it all but the big deal ended up being the meat. So good. You could tell it's not processed frozen crap. This was straight up, grass fed local beef. You simply cannot go wrong with that.
I give this burger an A-. I enjoyed the hell out of it and was very satisfied. Why the minus? Get those damn greens off of that burger, man! They do nothing but take up space where there could be more cheese!

JOSH: Rich likes to blabber on, me I like to dip in and out, tell a few jokes, and say if the place was good. I opted for the "Poutine on a Portwalk"!

 

I ordered mine medium rare, and as you can see, it was a lot more rare than I thought it was going to be. But, being the man that I am, I powered on and still loved every bit of this thing. The burger consists of grass fed beef, fries, peppercorn gravy, melted cheese curd, and horseradish aioli.

Messy as hell and THICK

Is that just straight up raw meat?

yep it is.

JOSH: Biting into this burger, you find it's all the same consistency between two chewy buns. The flavors all blend together, and I honestly don't remember tasting much of the horseradish aioli, except for maybe a slight burn going on somewhere in the background. The cheese, fries, and meat all melded together to give the feeling you were biting into one giant delicious cheesy mess. The peppercorn gravy, which was also kind of lost inside the meat mess helped make sure the fries couldn't produce any texture. Don't get me wrong, as gross as it sounds, the burger had this quality to it that made that mess an absolute delight. The gravy and horseradish took me away enough from the cheese curd and meat to let me feel each level in my mouth. I'd 100% get this beast again, but maybe cooked this time to give the piece some backbone with which to stand. 

I'd give it a B. 

Was just great burger.  

MIKE: I got the same burger as Rich because it was the only one where I knew what every ingredient was. I'm not fancy enough for this place! It was good, but it didn't blow me away. I didn't taste different ingredients all that well, and the meat was a bit too pink for my taste. I still demolished it though, I'd just give it more like a B-/C+. I like my burgers trashy I guess.

Something these dudes didn't mention that is absolutely worth mentioning was the fries!

MIKE: We all got Parmesan Truffle fries, and although they didn't give us a ton, they were really good. I think we all forgot to take a close up shot, but they were pretty basic fries with cheese and seasoning that was really really good. They had a real herby taste to them, and they included mayonnaise- I'm not sure if that was for the burgers, or if we were supposed to pretend we were British and dip the fries in the mayo, but that's what I did. And it was fantastic- an absolutely awesome mix of tangy and spicy. They were served in a small metal bucket which was odd, but they could have been served in an old catcher's mitt and if they tasted as good as this, I'd have eaten every last one.

OVERALL EXPERIENCE-

RICH: I liked this place a lot and would definitely come back. Very interesting choices on the menu too. I feel like I could come back here six or seven times to try things that looked good. Also I have to say our waitress was phenomenal. I kept my receipt in my pocket for a few days so I could remember to get her name off of it for this review but ended up throwing it away without realizing what I was doing. She was so good. She knew the menu very well and convinced us to try something we were not going to try and it ended up being great. Not only that but she didn't attack us with 100 cliche waitress lines of small talk. She was great and she never let our drinks get empty. If I can find her name I'll edit this post so you can all ask for her when you go try them out.

JOSH: I agree, the waitress was incredible. The vibe to the place was small city chic (was I magically transported to New York City?) and everything in the place was its own creation. I applaud them in their creativity, service, and portions. I'll go back and definitely try to hit something else. maybe hit that shake that I made fun of Rich about. I'd give the cook a hearty clap on the back and a slightly too hard handshake while I stare into his eyes and measure his manliness with my ice cold gaze.  

MIKE: Josh's description of small city chic is pretty perfect. I absolutely felt like I was in NYC. The food is served on weird little metal platters with metal buckets which kind of made me feel like it was somewhere between hospital food and some sort of weird science lab, but I guess that's their gimmick. 

MIKE: I wasn't blown away by the burger, but I'd go back just for those brussels sprouts and a milkshake, 100%. Maybe TWO MILKSHAKES (I mean, if all I'm eating is vegetables, why not 2??)

Before you visit BRGR BAR, check out their site online and familiarize yourself with the menu!
http://brgr-bar.com/menus

Feel free to drop us a line if you think of an item or place you would like us to review! You can reach us by email at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com . Or perhaps you're a fan of tweets. WE TWEET! Follow us, we are @fatguyfoodblog on there! Perhaps you'd rather hit us up on Facebook. NO PROBLEM. Give us a LIKE and get all our up to date reviews the moment they go live and some great extras, as well as info on any contests we do! You can find us on there at www.facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog. Until next time... STAY HUNGRY!

WENDY'S: Steakhouse Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe

It's Summer, and judging by your glistening forehead and sweat stained undershirt because you still think it's too early to put an AC in, you know it is too. Well America's 9th favorite fast food burger joint knows this fact, and seeks to excite our wet mouth living flavor muscles by reminding you of America's 2nd favorite past time, right behind War for No Real Reason, grilling steaks! 

So I took a drive, picked up one of these tiny odes to the beginning of summer, and brought it home to give it the FGFB treatment.

The SJrCD is $1.49 and on it's value menu. For size comparison, I got a Spicy Chicken, you know, for the blog....*cough*. Just so you know, it's not a meal sized burger, it's more of a little treat before you dive into something more substantial. A Pre-Burg if you will. The Wendy's Steakhouse Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe is basically a just a cheeseburger deluxe, with steakhouse seasoning and garlic ioli. What is garlic aioli? It's a more oily, garlic mayonnaise.

glad it's back to an original bun

looks pretty standard.

Biting into this little guy was actually quite satisfying. It comes with a few stages, they happen quick, so get ready to appreciate this fast paced, somewhat satisfying thrill ride. When you hit it first you're like "I thought this was supposed to taste like steak or something, this is just a cheeseburger deluxe?" NO NO my friend, remember, it's steakhouse seasoning, so get that straight first. Then comes along the garlic aioli. I really thought this added quite a lot to the burger, the aioli melded with the cheese to form this sort of creamy mess with a touch of garlic, in which floats your familiar friends of lettuce and tomato, coming by just to say hi and see how you're doing. As soon as they go on their merry way, here comes the steakhouse seasoning, which you'd think, would taste different from just pepper, but it doesn't.

I'm not a pepper dude, so this immediately turned me off. Having a mouth full of just annoying spice dirt after a small wave of creamy cheese and garlic aioli killed the vibe this little-engine-that-could was putting off. I took another bite, and the burger grease, cheese, and aioli washed away the pepper unpleasantness for a minute, and then, oh wait you're back.

Irwins blurry devil eyes driving daggers into my heart.

Overall, I'd say the Wendy's Steakhouse Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe is decent. Is it better than a normal Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe? Just slightly. It serves great as an opener, better than expected, priming you up for the main act. So head on out, and snag one of these little guys up if you're in the mood for just a small change of pace. And I do stress the word SMALL. 

I give the Wendy's Steakhouse Jr. a

C+

As always, feel free to drop us an email to if you have ideas for things or places we can review, or to just tell us we're awesome! You can email us at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com ! Follow us on Twitter for more of our wild antics and the occasional mini-review, @fatguyfoodblog. Also if you find yourself on that Facebook thing, give us a LIKE! Also make sure you scoop up that Fatguyfoodblog t-shirt to hide your stomach at the beach this summer. You can get one HERE.
Until next time, friends! 

-Josh

Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme filled cookies!

So apparently somewhere along the line a few years ago whoever the mad genius is running Nabisco must have made a declaration that they were going to dominate the worldwide cookie game. It was a probably a ten year plan, put together on a massive blackboard in some boardroom. They were going to embrace change and innovation. It started slow, with things like the Golden Oreos. Then the flavors started getting more and more crazy and it started happening more and more often. Fast forward to 2014 and we're getting a new limited flavor of Oreo every time we turn around. Chips Ahoy cookies also had their fair share of new flavors, but nothing like the amount Oreo did. Looks like that might be changing, folks. Nabisco seems to be fast tracking new Chips Ahoy flavors left and right. You may have even read our review for the Mega Fudge, Sweet & Salty , Ice Cream Creations, Chocofudge and Brownie filled. But now they have done something we never thought possible. They have created the first Nabisco cookie cross over. Ladies and gents, let's get right to it! Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme filled cookies!

This isn't a dream. I promise it's real. 

Oreo cream inside of a chewy chocolate chip cookie. Seems like a home run no matter what! The mere mention that these existed was enough to get us to jump in cars and hit a half dozen local shopping centers. OREO CREAM INSIDE OF A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE! So do they live up to expectations?

Look like regular old cookies right? 

Kinda. You see, the biggest strike against these cookies are the cookies themselves. Chewy Chips Ahoy aren't a very exciting cookie. They aren't bad, they just aren't something I would ever buy. I always want something more exciting. Sure, I'll choose them over the rock solid regular Chip's Ahoy any day. But it's a very rare thing for me to buy a bag of them. They just aren't that great.

All of that changes when you put a layer of Oreo creme in the middle. It's a little more gooey than the cream you get in your Oreo, but the taste is spot on. Being tiny and chewy, it's quite easy to pop a half dozen of these down your gullet before you even realize you're doing it. They are pretty damn delicious. Between four of us, we made short work of a package. Luckily we bought two! Then we had an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

This makes no sense. 

Imagine you put a chewy Chips Ahoy cookie in the middle of an Oreo? So we did it. And yes it was one with Oreo Creme in the middle. Why not? In essence it will be the opposite of the Chewy Chips Ahoy filled with Oreo Creme. It was great! I highly recommend if you find yourself with a package of each of these cookies that you make a version of this for yourself. The crunchy parts of the Oreo offset the chewy chocolate chip cookie and it all comes together for a great crunchy, chewy, sweet mix.

We should work for Nabisco. 

All in all these cookies are excellent and very worth your hard earned cash. THEY HAVE OREO CREME INSIDE THEM!  I'm sure these are only going to be on shelves for a limited time so scoop them up the moment you see them. Because before long Nabisco is going to rip them from the shelves and give us another flavor. I've heard Birthday Cake Frosting Chips Ahoy are coming...
We salute you, Nabisco! For trying new things at the drop of a hat and not giving a damn in the process. That's how they have taken over the cookie game. Oreo AND Chips Ahoy? 3094834 flavors each. Pretty soon the stores are going to do away with any non-Nabisco cookies because they simply won't have room for them. The cookie aisle will be lined with the craziest flavors you could ever imagine. This is a future I will gladly accept. BRING IT ON!

In the end, I give Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme Filled cookies a B+!

As always, feel free to drop us an email to if you have ideas for things or places we can review, or to just tell us we're awesome! You can email us at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com ! Follow us on Twitter for more of our wild antics and the occasional mini-review, @fatguyfoodblog. Also if you find yourself on that Facebook thing, give us a LIKE! Also make sure you scoop up that Fatguyfoodblog t-shirt to wear to the beach this summer. You can get one HERE.
Until next time, friends!

Review by Rich!

Keebler Peanut Butter Smores cookies.

Ah S'mores. The summertime treat mostly enjoyed while braving the great outdoors. There's nothing like roasting a marshmallow over your crackling campfire, and then sandwiching it between a couple graham crackers and a slab of Hersheys chocolate. In recent years the Fatguyfoodblog crew has begun substituting Reeses peanut butter cups in place of the Hersheys. Why? Chocolate+ Peanut Butter > just chocolate. Do the math. It adds up. But however you make your s'mores, when you take that first bite, most of us get a blast of nostalgia. Being a kid, camping with the fam, something along these lines. This is when a snack becomes much more. It's my belief that something like this should be left alone. Let it be the product of combining these materials, all purchased separately, on a special occasion a few times a year.
But nope. Keebler couldn't leave that alone.So for all the lazy pieces of crap out there, they made you a S'more that takes no work! Heck, they even made a peanut butter version! They must have been spying on our last camping trip. So, will these take the place of your classic S'more?
Let's find out...

Wait...where's the marshmallow? 

The Keebler elves made two flavors of these S'mores cookies right out the gate. Original and Peanut Butter. We only reviewed one. Why? Well...they suck. 

Let's break it down. It's basically a chocolate covered wad of slightly peanut butter flavored sand. 

8 little cookies per package. YIKES. 

That's not very appetizing in the least. After one bite of one of these I was reaching for a cup of water because my mouth felt coated with a dusting of fine sand. Then after the second bite I looked down again at the cookie to see if perhaps it really was sand and I was the victim of some cruel prank.

Not the case. They are just bad cookies. 

They are so bad that out of the mere 8 cookies that come in the package, I gave away six. Each of the six people who had one kind of just shrugged and said they were just whatever. I'm definitely going to give them a worse rating than that. They are S'mores and don't have any marshmallow in them. How do you mess that up?

I expect more from the Keebler Elves. I really do. They do a great job copying all of the Girl Scout Cookie flavors. Most of what they do is quite solid. However, this time they have failed. I hope the next time they try to tackle something as important as the S'more, they put a little more research and quality into creating it. If not? Don't even leave your weird little tree house, you creeps!

I give the Keebler S'mores Peanut Butter sandwich cookies a C-, and that's being nice. 

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Review by Rich!

Taco Bell Breakfast Menu part 2: Cinnabon Delights, Sausage Flatbread Melt, Burritos and more!

After trying the AM Crunchwrap and Waffle Taco, it was time to set my sights on some of the more standard breakfast items, or at least the stuff you'd expect from Taco Bell. On trip 2, I didn't even bother with a more standard sausage or bacon breakfast burrito- I went straight to steak. And it was surprisingly big for the fairly reasonable price tag of $2.89.

Burritos are tough to get great photos of, but I think this shot sums this rito up pretty nicely:

I was surprised it didn't have any potato, but it had a solid amount of egg and cheese, that delicious creamy jalapeno sauce, and a surprising amount of surprisingly decent steak. I clearly assumed this would be "steak," and I'd spend most of this review trying to figure out what meat it actually was. It certainly wasn't a $60 porterhouse, but it was pretty good. Surprisingly. 

I have to give this an A. The combo of thick steak, warm eggs, just enough cheese and that awesome sauce... This is what a breakfast burrito should be. Still could have used some potato or maybe a vegetable or 2, but this is simple and awesome.

After I got there at 10:40 on trip #2 and was told they were out of sausage because it was too late (that's funny, I thought breakfast went until 11...), I knew trip 3 would be a real sausage party. I really committed to this review this time and woke up early to get breakfast on my way to work (and take photos of it while driving- shhhhh don't tell Obama). I tried a sausage burrito, and while I was blown away by the amount of cheese and just how hot and gooey this thing was, I was disappointed. 

First off, only the steak rito comes with the jalapeno sauce- sausage and bacon are sauceless. Secondly, the sausage. I'm a bit of a sausage stickler. You give me one of those giant hot dog kielbasa things and I'll give it right back to you. Those stupid breakfast sticks? No thanks. I want a flat patty or nothing else. They don't have that gross hot dog snap or that frightening casing, they always end up having a more smokey flavor, they have a much more manageable amount of juice- they're just better. The sausage in this rito was the smaller, raccoon-shit-looking pebble type of sausage, and it honestly tasted kind of weird. I don't know what it was, but it didn't taste quite right. It was kind of like... buttery. The sheer amount of cheese and just how warm and melty this thing was nearly saved it, but the sausage hurt it. Sausage being the star makes this vehicle just not work quite the same as the steak rito. Gotta give you a C-.

Next up was the sausage version of the $1.00 AM Grilled Taco.

First off, this was way heavier and cooked more. And look at the sweet heavenly world inside. So... much.... cheese....

I guess when the Bell cooks things correctly, magical things happen. Unfortunately, the sausage turds made this only worthy of a C+. Everything was perfect about it, but those damn sausages. They just don't taste like sausage is supposed to taste. Give me the patty! I'll pay more!

The last regular food item to get (other than their coffee, which I'm not reviewing because 1. I don't drink coffee, and 2. I've never known of a food item that more people disagree about other than coffee, and this is Taco Bell coffee. I'm not going down that road) was the Sausage Flatbread Melt. 

This only cost a buck, and it appeared to be a sausage patty (YES!), wrapped in cheese and a flatbread tortilla. And yup, that's all it is.

completely stuck together

Although I wonder if this could be helped by some jalapeno sauce, or maybe some maple syrup dip action, this was simplicity at its finest. 3 ingredients jammed together, cooked and served for a buck. I was surprised at how awesome the softness of this flatbread was. I've always been a fan but was expecting a tortilla (cuz I apparently don't pay very good attention) or some crappy hard pita-esque flatbread. I was met with a super soft, near gooey, cheesy sausagey concoction. 

This is pretty simple and nothing to go crazy for, but for a buck, it's a fantastic addition to your meal. B+.

On my 4th trip, I finished the AM Crunchwrap Trifecta with the steak version. It was ok, but they didn't give me enough cheese or sauce. Or eggs. Oh wait... yea, that's zero eggs.

Man, Taco Bell (or at least the one at Four Corners in Woburn, Massachusetts) is about the most inconsistent fast food place ever. On 4 trips, I didn't get something I ordered, they burned the hell out of my hash brows, and they didn't include one of the ingredients in a menu item for no reason. Food was also either cool and boring or some of the hottest, most perfectly cooked fast food I've ever had. I'm gonna say that this would have been a B+ if they had actually included eggs. This one was more like a C. I think the sausage AM Crunchwrap was the best, while I'll take the steak in a burrito. 

Alright, time to finish this review and go back to bed. And just like Vanessa Williams, I saved the best for last: Cinnabon Delights. A partnership between 2 brands that is... well, delightful. 

Alright, so we all like Cinnabons. Sure, they're the devil, you should probably have 10 heart attacks after 5 bites, DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD FOR YOU THOSE ARE!??!! Yea yea, we've heard it all. It's also extremely difficult to get a perfect one, and they're hard to find (at least up here in the granite state wilderness). These, to me, don't taste that much like Cinnabons. And that's ok. But they took that kind-of-cream-cheesey-but-mostly-frosting frosting heaven that's all over Cinnabons and hid it inside these doughnut holes. 

Didn't hide it too well!

But that's not even the best part. You know when you go to a fair and you get those apple cider doughnuts that you order 6 of and eat in a minute and a half? The ones that they make on the spot, put on a roller thing to dry, then sprinkle heaven all over? Then they shake them in the bag so they're completely covered in cinnamon sugar and serve them to you piping hot? Wow, I wish I was at a fair right now. Seriously, why are they only in fall? Why can't I go to a restaurant and buy fried dough and apple cider doughnuts? It's LUNACY! Ok I'm done. Sorry. So you know why those doughnuts rule? It's not the soft warm dough inside. It's the crunchy exterior- how it's crisp but wet with grease. And the way that grease makes the cinnamon sugar stick to the doughnut and your fingers. You know, this: 

So these are balls of that filled with Cinnabon frosting. There's barely any dough, and what there is is either greasy and near the crisp outside, or soft and soaked through with Cinnabon frosting. Look at this one, it's like they accidentally gave me one they were planning on using for menu pictures: 

These things are perfect. Goddamn, what a creation. A+++

So to recap, other than the letdown of the Waffle Taco and a lot of inconsistency, Taco Bell's new breakfast menu is pretty awesome. Other than my 3rd visit crew, I certainly wouldn't trust the Taco Bell I went to, but I imagine once this goes worldwide, there are some serious customization possibilities. I know if I go back for a 5th time, I'll see if I can get that awesome jalapeno sauce on more stuff (I asked for extra packets and was told they don't exist, which I absolutely don't believe). I wonder if I could substitute a flatbread for a tortilla somewhere. I'll definitely order more than a 4 pack of Cinnabon Delights.

I imagine Taco Bell will get rid of some of these items, but they better keep the AM Crunchwrap and Delights. Probably burritos too. And that sausage flatbread melt. Ok, keep everything. What they need to do is make this menu last all day. I'd even settle for parts of it. I mean, I could write a 10 page essay on how ridiculous it is that things like doughnuts and cinnamon buns somehow ended up being breakfast items rather than desserts. Why are Cinnabon Delights not served at night!? It rhymes! As much of a slob as I am, this isn't really the way I want to start my day. It's how I want to end it.

And come on Taco Bell- your fanbase is drunk college kids, fat video game kids on hour 10 of COD binges, and stoners who are really hungry for some reason and need to buy 20 dollars worth of Taco Bell at 1 in the morning. 4th Meal! YOU CREATED A MEAL FOR THESE PEOPLE! Time to give us breakfast all day. I don't want to get up early for this stuff anymore. Let's make it happen.

So anyway, good job Taco Bell. 

If you don't have Taco Bell Breakfast near you yet, you will soon. I hope this has given you a nice sneak preview and you can now make more informed decisions once you're given the opportunity. Have a great day. 

-review by Mike