Sunday, April 22, 2012

GET READY TO PUKE: It's Cumberland Farms Soda!

As a child growing up grabbing 3 liter pineapple soda's from my local Cumberland Farms, riding hands free on my mountain bike, clutching a hefty 64oz fountain drink as a way to celebrate a job well done on my paper route, I am in no way unaccustomed to cheap soda. CF has seen fit to throw it's hat into the 20oz bottled soda biz and give us these two fine concoctions, Cotton Candy Commander, and Strawberry Monkey. There were a few others there but these seemed the most appealing to my little fat sweet teeth.

all I could choke down from these wretched offerings!

As you can tell from the post title, I didn't like either of them, so here's a quick run down of both of the flavors.

Cotton Candy Commander: Has a solid grasp on what cotton candy tastes like, and i do have to say, it's not THAT bad, but the worst thing about it is that after the first mouthful of liquid sugar, every tooth you have in your head begins to throb with pain, each one crying out as to why you'd wash this sweet tasting blue poison over their little white bodies.

Strawberry Monkey: there's never a good fake strawberry flavor, it's like the lab tech boys at CF when trying to brew up this horror had never tried a strawberry once in their lives, nor did the people that taste tested it. the only reason it's so aptly named "strawberry monkey" because whatever cancer inducing chemicals they decided to dye this non potable horror water with happens to be red. the blood of dead monkeys swirled into a nest of carbonated chemical bath. The worst part of Strawberry Monkey happens to be the after taste. I really have no clue what it is, but after you swallow down a load of hot strawberry monkey, you instantly want to get the flavor out of your mouth by any means necessary.

 The Quick and Dirty:
i give these two offerings to the soft drink gods an
just absolutely terrible. no thank you. i'm not even going to bother 
with any of the other flavors that are raised
 from this so called "farm"


  1. I member the pineapple soda being soooooooo good as a kid!

  2. I get orange soda (Cumberlan uses Sunkist brand)and add vanilla flavoring syrup. Tastes just like and orange creamsicle...CF should bottle THAT!