Monday, August 27, 2012

Grilled Nutella & Cheese.. Aka the CheeseBoy Choco-melt

Not too long ago I got a picture delivered to my phone from a friend who was on the road in NJ. He had just had dinner in some giant mall when he stumbled upon a place called CHEESEBOY, which I didn't even know existed. He messaged me a picture of their current special.
It blew my mind.

A grilled cheese made with Nutella and American cheese, on Cinnamon Swirl bread. I asked him if he had gotten it but he said he was too full from his dinner. I was angry for an instant about this but then I remembered he isn't a huge fat dude with a blog, so I kind of understand why he didn't get it.
But only kinda.
Now my dilemma here is that New Jersey is too far away for me to drive for a grilled cheese. So I hit up their website, and found out that there were indeed locations closer in Mass. But my schedule was filled for the entire week, and I wouldn't be able to make the trip down. The idea of this sandwich stuck in my brain like crazy, so I decided there was only one course of action... I made my own.

The recipe is simple enough. I didn't go fancy with the cheese, despite my usual love for expensive deli cheese. This time I just wanted to go with a sure thing and when it comes to American Cheese, Kraft Singles are a solid choice every time. Pepperidge Farm makes everything better, so that goes without saying. Somehow I didn't have a jar of Nutella in the house. I know. It makes zero sense. But I do now.

I felt kind of like a mad scientist. I had told people about this sandwich and they hadn't seemed as excited. I assured them I had no doubt it would be spectacular. I'll be honest, as I began creating this beast, a little doubt slipped into my brain.

As I buttered the bread on one side, and then covered the other side in Nutella, I wondered if all this would be for nothing. If the first bite I would take would be gross...

But then the smell hit me, as it sizzled away in the frying pan. A strange buttery cinnamon smell, with something underneath. I used my well honed grilled cheese making skills to be sure not to burn it, flipping just when needed, and leaving it on exactly the right amount of time. By the time I slid it onto my plate, it looked like a work of art. Then I cut it diagonally, because let's face it, if you cut your sandwich any other way, you're probably either dumb, or evil.

Immediately, gooey melted American cheese oozed from the sandwich and formed a puddle, its white color thrown off by an oil spill of Nutella weaving through it. So how was it?

Simply put, it was incredible. I'm pretty sure if there was a heaven, Christ himself would serve you one of these on a golden tray as you walked through the pearly gates. Your eyes would get wide as you chomped into it and he would say, "Yeah... that right there? That's how we roll up here. Make yourself comfortable, dogg." Then you would dance away on a cloud as you finished the sandwich.

Yeah. It's that good. The combination of the sweetness of the cinnamon swirls in the bread & Nutella mixed with the rich cheese & buttery, crispy bread gives you a medley of flavors your mouth can barely keep up with. When you crunch through the bread and that mixture of cheese and Nutella hits your taste buds for the first time, you will truly understand the glory of this sandwich.  You may feel light headed as you eat this. It's fine. That's normal. It's called euphoria.

In the end, this experiment was a success. Would I want to eat this sandwich every day? Well... yes. But I won't. Because it's a dangerous item. I feel like I still have half of it jammed into the arteries surrounding my heart right now. But it was worth it. Yes, I have made more than one. Yes, I do plan on making another. But it's certainly a treat I will leave for every once in a while.

So if you have a CheeseBoy near you, go try this. If not, make it at home like we did, and make sure you thank us after, for opening your mind to what we call the 10th Wonder of the World.

Grade? A++++++++++++
Review by Rich.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Oreo Double Review: Triple Double Chocolate Mint & Coconut Delight Fudge Cremes!

Well... it's been five minutes. You know what that means? Oreo put out a new flavor of their cookies. Wait... what's that? Oh, my mistake... apparently they put out TWO new flavors. Guess we really should change the name of this blog to FATGUYOREOBLOG.
Hey, Nabisco, if you're reading this, understand that we are just messing around. I think we speak for cookie lovers worldwide when we say, KEEP THOSE NEW FLAVORS COMING! There are few companies out there in the snack world who have the stones to take a chance on one new flavor a year, forget one a month like you guys. We applaud you.
First up...
There seems to be a gap in that cookie evolution...

Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes. You know the drill, it's half an Oreo cookie (the half with the frosting) covered in melty chocolate (aka fudge). Only this time the cream is coconut flavored.

Like you dropped your cookie in suntan lotion...but in a good way!
I really don't have much to say about these. I found that many of the things I had to say about the Birthday Cake version of these stands true here as well. They are delicious, but in the end too sweet to eat more than two or three. The coconut flavor works very well with the signature Oreo cookie, but honestly, I'd rather just a regular double sided Oreo with coconut cream in the middle. Nabisco, make that happen!

Let's move on to a monster...
Irwin didn't care about Coconut, but he's totally on board for these. 
Limited Edition Triple Double Oreo Chocolate Mint. Bra-vo. I could leave the review at that. I should just post a picture of me giving these cookies a standing ovation. You have three Oreo chocolate cookies with chocolate cream between two of them, and mint cream on the other side. You may remember they did a version of the Triple Doubles last year right around this time. Remember that review? Glad to see them bring this concept back, Triple Doubles! (aka TRIP DUBZ).

Unlike the Fudge Cremes, these cookies are very heavy in the actual crunchy Oreo Cookie department. They are a big, intense cookie. Ladies, you might only want one. Dudes, don't underestimate it. When you bite into it, sometimes they explode and shower your face and shirt with crumbs. Be prepared.

The mint cream definitely stands out more than the chocolate. It's a great flavor though. Instead of tasting like toothpaste, it's more subtle, like in a grasshopper cookie. I feel like the chocolate cream is less intense because you're already dealing with a chocolate cookie. If they had made the chocolate cream any more tasty, it would have combined with the cookie and taken over. The people at Nabisco are professionals. This isn't their first rodeo.

Are they worth seeking out? You bet they are. They are damn good and over the top. They are like the Triple Baconator of cookies. But keep in mind they are limited edition. If you don't scoop them up the next time you're shopping, you might never get the chance! Hey Nabisco... one last thing... how about a Coffee Oreo? Or Espresso? Damn that would be amazing. Who's with me on this?

I give the Coconut Delight Fudge Cremes a B-
& The Triple Double Chocolate Mint an A!
Review by Rich

Friday, August 10, 2012

Keebler Cinnamon Roll Cookies

Other than La Festa's cinnamon knots, I don't usually flip out for cinnamon products. Sure, cinnamon is great, but it's hard to get it right- it's either too sharp on cinnamon flavor and almost stings to eat, or there isn't enough. That is, except when you're dealing with one of the most disgusting and awesome things to come out of this glorious country- Cinnabon. If you're reading this blog, you probably already know of Cinnabon's majesty/disgustingness. They are truly one of the hardest things to finish eating, and you feel like you're going to pass out/die immediately after. SO, while I don't usually get too excited about Keebler products either, this sexy little number caught my eye:

Cinnamon Roll cookies, with the delicious flavor of Cinnabon cinnamon. Hmm....

First, congrats to Keebler for having a cookie that actually looks exactly like it does on the package.

If you like cinnamon rolls, buy these cookies immediately. Because they aren't cookies. They're cinnamon rolls beat up and jammed into cookie form. They couldn't taste more like cinnamon rolls unless they were in fact, cinnamon rolls. They're also really chewy, so they're kind of better than cinnamon rolls, since sometimes they get cooked too much and are airy and flavorless. Honestly, a mushed up cinnamon roll is the best way to describe them, even though that's a gross image. 

The frosting is nice and adds a bit of a crunch, the cinnamon is strong, and the cookies are small, meaning their strength works- these are eat-in-small-doses cookies. 

The only negatives about these are that they may actually be too strong for some people. Maybe the Cinnabon logo on the package is a warning that cinna-wimps need not apply. There is a LOT of cinnamon flavor in these little monsters. 

The other negative is that there isn't enough frosting. Both for flavor and crispiness, it adds a lot, and these should be much more covered. 

I decided to step it up though, and follow the advice on the bag, microwaving them for maximum cinnamon roll effect. AND, because I'm a fat, disgusting slob, I just so happen to have a small container of frosting left over from my last trip to La Festa. Dare I dip the cookie into said frosting? Oh, I do. I do dare. 

The cookie was instantly better warmed up, and infinitely more cinnamon roll-like. And the extra frosting was incredible. There's a joke with the picture above, but I'm not gonna make it. You know how good it was. I should probably go buy more frosting from the store immediately.

Cookies: B
Cookies warmed up with extra frosting: A+


Friday, August 3, 2012

ON THE ROAD: Arctic Circle (Full Meal Review)

Just recently went on a fast forward road trip driving across country. I would have liked to have taken a whirlwind trip to every fast food/specialty eatery I could peep my little fat eyes at, but alas, funds, time, and mostly funds, made it so I lived off of what food i was able to prepack for the long haul across country. THAT BEING SAID, on a hot day passing through Salt Lake City, Utah, thine eyes were drawn upon a giant milk shake window cling with the name Arctic Circle scrawled upon it's side. It being a scalding 115 degree day outside, I pulled in to, what I thought, was a veritable oasis of burgers and milkshakes. Here are my thoughts:

Their claim to fame is not only the milkshakes they provide, but also the Black Angus burgers they cook, so I ordered up the Black Angus BBQ Bacon Cheese burger, fries, an order of mini corndogs, and what was hoped to be the crescendo of the meal, one of my favorites, a mint chocolate "Above The Rim" shake.

little sloppy, but looks pretty standardly made

the sloppiness mixes into burger soup. see bacon? i don't either
First off let's chat about the burg. the BBQ sauce was barely there, but added a little sweetness. The bacon was rather flavorless and just added a hint of what they were going for. The thing that got me, was the fact that it was billed as a BBQ Bacon CB, it tasted EXACTLY like a McDonalds Double cheeseburger with the bacon and whatever sauce kind of floating around a bit, lagging behind, like the fat kid in gym class trying to run a mile. Needless to say, with my affinity for McD's DCB's, this was fantastic :D

always a sucker for new dipping sauces
For some reason they think their "Fry Sauce" is a big deal....but it's honestly just mayonaise, ketchup, and maybe a hint of ranch. nothing special, and I stopped dipping my mediocre fries in their mediocre sauce fairly quickly.


not sure what the white stuff was, but it was pretty tasty
these were by far the best part of the meal, Mini Corn Dogs. I don't remember if they had a fancy "Arctic" name, but they were just mini, flavor filled corn dogs, with some weird mush inside of it. I don't mind, was a fine choice to place that flavored mush inside of this delicious side dish.

With a place, who's named as such, you'd figure their shakes and ice cream options would be top of the line wouldn't you? I saved this part of the meal for last as I was excited to top off my mundane meal with what was sure to be a great tasting mint chocolate chip shake, to excite my tastebuds and make my core temperature drop from all that refreshing mint flavor with a dash of satisfying chocolate that would flip my mood like a crying pregnant chick....but no. This was by far one of the most flavorless shakes i've ever anticipated. The mint was weak, the chocolate chips were cheap, the whole soupy faux ice cream shake experience was just one that disappointed me to no end. So much so that I didn't even get through it, and opted for A GLASS OF FUCKING WATER instead. *ahem.

soooooo if you're ever lost in a desert, and see a shiny blue beacon waiting to fill and cool your body, stop in. But know you're going to receive mediocre food, sub par service, and a shake made from a dead womans still lactating breast, where someone squirted mint flavored mist into the air, swirled about inside of it, slopped it into a cup, and decided to call it a shake.
I give Arctic Circle a
(i had a joke to type right here, but I censored it
because it was TOO mean. ne cool josh, be cool)