Sunday, July 29, 2012

HERR'S Classic American Hot Dog chips!

Sometimes being a food blogger, you buy something at the store just because it's new and you figure you'll do a review of it. But then sometimes after this item has been at your house, sitting on the shelf for a few days, you stop and realize that you have no desire whatsoever to try this item. So you put it off. For weeks and then even a month. But then one day someone emails you requesting you review that item and so you know that you have to dig down deep and take one for the team.
That is how we come to this review...

Irwin seems to think they will be delicious...
Now, I'm a fat guy, I like a hot dog just as much as the next guy. I'm not about to join any eating challenge where you dunk the buns in water and jam them down your throat, but hell, if you're grilling up dogs, toss a couple on for me, and I'll throw them in a bun with cheese, and any strange flavored mustard you have. (currently really enjoying a Maple Horseradish mustard I got at a little local shop here). But let's face it folks, perhaps there are some things you shouldn't flavor potato chips like.

Whole lotta bag, little bit of chips...
Now Herr's isn't the first company to tackle the hot dog flavored chips, and they won't be the last. The common thread with them all is that they mostly taste like the condiments you put on hot dogs. Same goes with most "Burger" flavored chips. These aren't very different. They are okay potato chips, covered in what first taste like a salt & vinegar flavor. But then your mouth realizes what it's tasting is a strange mustard/ketchup hybrid. The weird part comes with the aftertaste though...when it kind of tastes like the hot dog itself. 
This kind of grossed me out. I have to be honest. Hot Dogs are one of those foods that has a bad name from people talking about how they are made up of snouts and feet and all the rest of the stuff meat packing plants can't use in anything else. I tend to buy the more expensive hot dogs, and figure, hey, if they are made up of all those things and they still taste this good, who cares. 
BUT...when that taste hits you at the end of these chips, I found my mind going there and then just realizing that it was kind of a gross taste in a chip. 

I also found that after a few my mouth was stinging. Much like eating a bunch of salt & vinegar chips. So they sting your mouth, they taste like you squirted a bottle of ketchup & mustard directly onto your tongue, and then you are left with the taste of hot dog meat...I really can't say I liked these chips at all. I feel like they are the kind of item you would trick people into eating. "HAHA YOU ATE HOT DOG CHIPS!" and all your buddies laugh while you're grimacing and wondering if you should spit out the half eaten chips. 

If you find yourself intrigued by them,and you're a big hot dog fan, by all means, pick them up. But I could only find a gigantic VALUE SIZED bag. I needed about a handful of these for this review & there's nobody in the Fatguyfoodblog house who wants the rest so they are most likely hitting the trash. So good luck. 

I give these chips a D on the snack scale. 
Review by Rich

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Pringles BBQ Tour

So out of nowhere, Pringles launched not 1, but THREE brand new (of course limited edition) BBQ flavors. Pringles are kind of like the annoying younger brother of regular chips, and their BBQ leaves a lot to be desired, but I've always been a huge fan of their Sour Cream n' Onion and enjoy the tennis ball tube (even though my fat hands can't reach the bottom), so I was excited to try all three. First, I fashioned a triple barrel chipgun to blow Irwin's ears back. 

"wait... are you gonna shoot chips at me?"

First up was Memphis BBQ. Rich had heard they tasted kind of like ketchup.

And yep, they tasted kind of like ketchup. This BBQ is the tangy, sweet, very tomato-heavy kind of BBQ, and definitely my least favorite of BBQ flavors. These weren't bad, but Pringles' regular BBQ is better. These tasted just a bit too much like a cheap ketchup-mixed-with-BBQ flavor you thought was cool when you "created" it when you were 10. I popped, then I found that I could, in fact, stop.

Smoky Texas BBQ was exactly as advertised: Smoky.

I always thought it was spelled "smokey"

These were solid, and VERY smoky with a sweet, more standard BBQ aftertaste. I enjoy some smoky BBQ from time to time, so these were nice, but not all that different than regular BBQ Pringles, just more smoky. Have I mentioned that these were smoky yet? Because they were. VERY Smoky.

Last were the Honey Mustard Carolina BBQ. Rich either had heard that these tasted like gold fever wings, or he just wanted them to. 

And they did. Good sweet magnificent lord, they did. 

Wait- do you not know what gold fever wings are? Based on a google image search where 3 pictures popped up (and one was mine from my other blog), these appear to not be nearly as popular as they should be.

Do yourself a favor- get in your car and drive to the closest 99 Restaurant. Don't have a car? Steal one. Don't have a 99 within 1000 miles of you? Better start driving.

Gold fever wings are chicken tenders dipped in one of the greatest sauces ever known to mankind. If you're awesome, you then ask for cheese to be melted atop them (a FGFB invention), then dip them in blue cheese. So to reiterate- fried chicken covered in sauce, covered in cheese, covered in blue cheese. Hold on, I have to go get a new keyboard. 

Ok, I'm back. Here's a picture of a bunch of them chopped up and covered in more sauce: 

yup, need to lie down now.

So, gold fever sauce is basically just regular BBQ sauce mixed with honey mustard. It makes for a very tangy (from the mustard) and surprisingly sweet (from the BBQ) concoction. There may be sugar added, I'm not sure. All I know is that it's a wonderful, addicting and insanely unique sauce that tastes like nothing else and is instantly identifiable. And Pringles somehow managed to slap it in powder form- sorry, bless with heavenly flavor crystals- on these chips. If you've never had gold fever wings, these chips will probably be a wonderful new experience in flavor for you. If you have the gold fever I've been stricken with since first tasting gold heaven so many years ago, these will instantly hit home as the chip you've always wanted to eat, whether you knew it or not. 

Memphis BBQ: A bit too tangy and ketchupy to warrant much more than a C-
Smoky Texas BBQ: Good, but very smoky- maybe too much. C+
Honey Mustard Carolina BBQ: Glorious and unique- only one other thing in the world tastes like them. A+

Go get these while they last, I've already had trouble finding them!

-review by Mike.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Burger King Bacon Sundae

I first heard about Burger King & their new Bacon Sundae a while before it debuted. It was all over the news and social media. People freaking out, like this was the first time bacon & ice cream had been combined. Like this was some sort of wild concept that had just been birthed into existence. The slim, health conscious people who hate having fun were damning it before they even saw a picture of it. The fun, adventurous, snack lovers out there were excited for it. Then there were the people in between who simply weren't sure what to think. Then I saw the first picture of it. It was a work of art! If it wouldn't melt, I'd buy one and set it on my mantle, so I could admire it from afar. 
This thing is beautiful. 
Alas, that's not really what they look like when you get them. Behold...the Burger King Bacon Sundae, in real life. Or IRL, if you're into shortening things up. 

It looks like the deformed sibling of that first sundae...
So the Burger King Bacon Sundae is basically some vanilla soft serve, caramel, hot fudge, and...well...bacon. Lots of bacon. There are little chunks busted up all through it and one big slab lodged into the top of the sundae, like the sail of a great ship.

Irwin was very interested in this. 
My first few bites of this thing were excellent. Chunks of crispy bacon swimming in melting vanilla soft serve. A perfect sweet & salty combination if there ever was one. You have to make the decision right away on whether to eat the large piece of bacon first...or save it for last. I saved it.

The downside to the Burger King Bacon Sundae is the sauce. The caramel & hot fudge is pretty much the second half of the cup. There are still crunchy bacon chunks floating in it, but you are literally spooning up mouthfuls of sauce with no ice cream at all. It's too much. When a guy writing for fatguyfoodblog tells you something is too much, it's TOO MUCH. Granted...for the good of this blog and all our readers, I finished the damn thing. But I won't lie, I felt sick after from slurping up all that raw sundae sauce. I felt like I was choking on it after a few bites. Perhaps you get sundaes and are never satisfied with the amount of hot fudge & caramel you get. If you're like that, this might be perfect for you.

I feel like this isn't a lost cause though. I would get it again and just ask for them to go light on the sauces. I think there's a happy medium that can be reached by customizing slightly. They do a great job making sure there are no fatty bacon chunks in it, as you can see by the pic below. All crunchy, crispy bacon!

Burger King didn't reinvent the wheel here. Lots of places are doing things like this these days. You may remember Denny's did a while can check our review here. But if you've never had a bacon sundae, there is no reason you shouldn't try this one. It's inexpensive, simple, and delicious. Bacon makes EVERYTHING better. Even ice cream. That's a rule you can live by. So pick up a Burger King Bacon Sundae today! You may want to heed my words and have them go easy on the sauce though. Just sayin'.

I give this a B-
Review by Rich.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Spicy Ketchup Lay's

Wait, what? Spicy ketchup? 

Lay's has been putting out ketchup chips in Canada for years. Why they've never bothered making them in the US (while making seemingly every other flavor imaginable including incredibly weird stuff like BLT chips at the same time) has always confused me. Well, I guess I'll take what I can get.

These are ok, but unfortunately, they just make me want ketchup lay's. How can I enjoy something when I know there's a better version of the same thing in existence? It's like watching a crappy local cover band down the street from the actual band. It's like looking at a picture on your phone of a beautiful view while the actual view is right behind you. It's like watching porn when... well, you get it. It's like sugar free ice cream or soy anything. Sure- at first it may seem like the real thing, but after a little while, the difference becomes more obvious and you're left with a lingering voice in the back of your mind saying "why don't you just eat ketchup chips instead of this BS version?"

Well, because I can't. And that makes me sad.

These taste like ketchup chips at first, and Lay's makes some solid ketchup chips. The thin chips really let the flavor blast through. At first, I was excited. But the spice suddenly hits afterward, and you're left with a slowly building burn that while neat at first (wow, spicy ketchup? that's not even a real thing!), after a little while, it just doesn't work. I even bought a huge bag to really make sure I was right. There's a reason spicy ketchup isn't real (yes, I know Heinz tried it awhile ago and it may still exist, but come on, who actually uses it?) and these chips prove why.

They're different and somewhat unique, but at the end of the day, they're just regular Lay's ketchup chips hurt by the confusing flavor of heat. I'd give them a shot for the sake of trying something new- but only buy a 99 cent bag. You'll probably end up just like me, wishing Lay's would stop hating MERCUH and let us enjoy what Canadians have been enjoying for years.


Review by Mike

why can't I just have these, Lay's? Why?

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Pizza Hut P'Zolos

I abandoned Pizza Hut long ago. High school was full of nothing but love for The Hut based on one of the greatest inventions of the last million years, stuffed crust pizza. But over time, the sauce changed (not sure if this is true, but I swear it's different), they skimped on toppings, and I grew up and realized how much better local pizza places were over chains. But I'm always up for a new fatvention, and Pizza Hut's P'zolos sucked me right in. So, after a failed attempt at ordering them one night (I ordered online only to be called 5 minutes later and told they were out of P'zolos), I ordered all 3 a few nights later. 

Based on the commercials and the fact that they "ran out" of something I was expecting to be cooked fresh, I kind of assumed these would just be crappy hot pockets minus the convenience of hot pockets. The picture made them look much nicer though...

and the price was nice (3 bucks each or 2 for $5), so I still went in with an open mind. 

Here's what they actually looked like, with my hand for reference (note- my sausage fingers and meat hands may be bigger than those of a lot of readers):

These weren't anything amazing, but they were better than I expected, and very far from hot pockets- mostly because of the crust, which was soft and flavorful, while being grease-glazed and a little crunchy on the outside. They were basically really good pizza dough rolled around cheese and meat. They were also pretty much the perfect size- perfect for dipping, as they easily fit in the dip cups, and perfect for a side order or lunch. Or, if you order all 3, a dinner. 

The Meat Trio tasted exactly the same as their 3 meat p'zone, but at least in my case, with less cheese. I'm pretty underwhelmed with both, as the sausage has a very cheap taste and texture and overpowers any other flavors, but I preferred this to the P'zone for softness of dough and ease in dipping. Covered in marinara, this was decent.

The Italian Steak was the worst of the three. Taking a lot at it, the steak looks marinated, but you can see how much else was in it- the standard peppers, onions, and mushrooms. This one had the most cheese which saved it a bit, but I barely tasted steak. Everything just tasted like green peppers and mushrooms which made this, tried both with marinara and ranch, pretty unappealing. If you love green peppers and mushrooms, then maybe you'd be into this, but I want to actually taste steak- and there's barely any flavor there. It's almost like the steak was marinated in mushroom and green pepper juice. 

The winner was, as I expected, the Buffalo Chicken. The chicken was plentiful and of surprising quality, there was a good amount of cheese, and it wasn't too hot but still had just enough of a kick to it. It tasted great with ranch or the buffalo I ordered on the side (it comes with ranch). The only problem with this is that it didn't have a lot of the buffalo flavor we've come to love- it was more of a toned down buffalo attempt- kind of hot with some familiar flavor, but just kind of missing something. 

But it was my favorite, and I can see myself ordering one or three of these again in the future- I ate mine VERY fast. 

The bottom line on these bad boys is that they're ok. They're nothing entirely new, but they do actually land somewhere between pizza, subs and hot pockets (as they're marketed) so they are just different enough to warrant a try if you're near a pizza hut. Don't drive too far for these, but the buffalo and meat trio would make a great side to a meal or a small meal on the road. 

Meat Trio: C
Italian Steak: D
Buffalo Chicken: B-

Better than I thought they'd be and a fairly unique addition to the Pizza Hut menu, but other than the buffalo chicken, nothing worth freaking out about. Stick to your favorite pizza place.

-Review by Mike