Come take a ride on the Deep River! It's the five chip mega-review! Ninja Ginger, Zesty Jalapeno & more!

Whenever I'd sitting around with fellow food bloggers, talking shop, and the conversation steers itself towards chips, I never fail to bring up one of my favorites of all time. Aged Cheddar Horseradish kettle chips from Deep River Snacks. When I bring them up I'm often met with blank stares or some nonsense about how they don't like horseradish. Doesn't matter. I'm already wishing I had a bag of them. They are so damn good! The most intense horseradish chips around, with a great sharp cheddar added taste. So let me tell you, when I got a box in the mail from the folks at Deep River, I was pumped to see what they were rolling out as some new offerings. 

So let's jump right in. First up? Three flavors of HONCHOS! 

One thing you gotta know about Deep River Snacks is their tag line, "because we give a chip!" They really do! It shows when you take a look at the bag and see these chips are made with 99% Organic ingredients, are gluten free, and contain no GMOs. All good stuff. But let's face it, we're here to talk about taste! We've all had the nacho cheese tortilla chip. Doritos are the king of that realm and it seems every chip company at one point or another tries to crack the code of what makes them so damn delicious. Nacho Cheese Honchos will not knock Doritos from that throne, but they are a decent healthier option.

The chip definitely has a bit of a crunchier feel to it and the flavor itself it good, I just felt like they needed maybe twice as much flavor dust. Maybe three times. It definitely feels like they didn't try to mimic the Dorito flavor, they just made their own version of a classic. Similar, but different. 

Next up, RANCH HONCHOS! 

The bag of Ranch Honchos has a picture of a hand holding up one of the chips. When you look at it, it appears to be blasted with flavor dust. So I had high hopes that perhaps Ranch Honchos wouldn't fall victim to the same issues as Nacho Cheese Honchos. Sadly, my friends, this is not the case.

Ranch Honchos taste good, but there's just not enough flavor on them. Look at those chips there. They look like someone licked all the flavor off of them and put them back in the bag. That's not how you want your chips to look, even when you are opting for the healthier option. Sadly, Ranch Honchos aren't anything special. 

Next up is the flavor I was dreading the most. Peach Habanero Honchos. I'm a wimp about hot stuff. Habanero is usually something I steer clear of. I like a little burn, but I don't like it to stick around. I prefer flavor over heat and so I was not pumped about trying these, but my duty is to the readers! 

I bet you're reading this thinking, "Man, Rich starts out by telling us that these guys have one of his favorite chips and then he just starts crapping all over Honchos." You're just expecting me to dislike these too, right? Well you are wrong as hell! Peach Habanero Honchos are fantastic. From the pictures they look like they suffer from not enough flavor, but I will tell you that is not the case. These burst with sweet peach flavor at first, and the quick blast of salt from the big chunks on the chips. But then a burn begins to build. Being a wimp about hot stuff, I have to say, after eating a bunch I had to take a break to let my mouth cool down. But then I went back for more. 

This is one example where the flavor is not diminished at all by the heat. You get a sweet and salty flavor blast followed by the heat. These chips take you on a flavor ride through so many different areas that your brain won't know what to do. But take that ride, and ride it to the very end. You won't regret it. If you're more of a wimp to spicy things than I am, you might want to steer clear. Peach Habanero Honchos don't mess around when it comes to big flavor and a steady burn! 

Next up, a bag of chips that won me over with it's name before I even took a bite, limited edition Ninja Ginger! 

Yes, it's true. Before I tasted one of these chips I was already imagining how I could spin this review to talk about ninjas. Why? Well, because, if you were like me, a guy growing up in the 80's and 90's ninjas have not only always been a part of your life, but they were always cool. You grew up pretending to be a ninja on the playground. Then, as you start to gobble up cartoons and movies, you realize that ninjas are usually the faceless bad guys that they feed to the hero in great numbers to help him kick serious ass. But they are STILL cool and mysterious and if you name a snack food after a silent assassin who can wield any number of martial arts weapons, I'll buy it every time.

These have a flavor EXPLOSION! Also...the movie Ninja Assassin rules.

But could any chip live up to a name that cool? Let me tell you, if someone came up to me and said, "hey, want to try these ginger flavored potato chips?" I would instantly say no. It's just not a flavor I would imagine wanting on a chip. But when presented as Ninja Ginger, I wanted to try them so bad I nearly tore the bag in half. The verdict? They are awesome.

Right off the bat they are on the winning side by being on the ever fantastic Deep River Kettle Cooked chips. Crunchy and thick, I'm not sure any chip does the kettle chip as good as Deep River. The Ginger flavor is wonderful. It's not overpowering, but there's a lot of great flavor going on here. They are sweet, but also there's a great mixture of spices going on. Then, after all that, your taste buds get assaulted with a slow burn. The more you eat, they more that burn intensifies.

The bottom line here is that this is one ninja you DO want to scuffle with. They are limited edition so who knows when they will stop making them! Scoop up a bag the next time you see them and you won't be sorry!

Last but not least... Zesty Jalapeno!

This is another time I was dreading a chip and found myself pleasantly surprised. I think I have to change my old song and dance about spicy things. These were excellent. Thick, salty kettle chips that have a great jalapeno pepper flavor before the heat ever hits. I was surprised to find that they only have four ingredients!  Potatoes, Sunflower oil, Jalapeno chili pepper and salt. That's it!

I'll warn you though, these are definitely spicy right out the gate. But these more than any of the others got hotter as you went. There were a few times I had to put the bag down and walk around sucking cold air in through my pursed lips. Exclaiming to whoever would listen that my mouth was on fire. With most chips that would be the end of it for me. But with these, once the burn calmed, I found myself going back for more. Compared to the greasiness of some chips, I felt like these were a whole different animal. You could taste that they aren't loaded with gross random chemicals.

Zesty Jalapeno aren't a flavor I thought I would be into in a million years, but I was. Great flavor, minimal ingredients, thick kettle cut chips, and a serious burn, make these chips all around fantastic.

Let's review:
Nacho Cheese Honchos: Add three times as much flavor dust and we'll talk. D
Ranch Honchos: These might need four times as much flavor dust. D
Peach Habanero Honchos: Flavorful and hot! Damn good! B+
Ninja Ginger: Bad ass name and an even more bad ass flavored chip? A
Zesty Jalapeno: Surprisingly delicious with a steady burn! A-

In closing, I'm excited I got to try these flavors from Deep River Snacks. These guys take some chances on crazy flavors and have been putting out great chips for a long time. Their Aged Cheddar Horseradish and Sweet Maui Onion are some of the best chips on the shelves. Give them a try!

Check out their website for more info!
https://deepriversnacks.com/

Review by Rich Brunelle, who currently resides in Seattle, where he tries his damnedest to leave the city whenever humanly possible to escape into the wilderness.

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Lay’s Flavor Swap: Smoked Gouda and Chive vs. Korean BBQ Chips!

Thank you Lay’s. Thank you for the addictive Bacon Mac and Cheese and Truffle Fries flavors. The Biscuits and Gravy and Chicken and Waffles flavors roused taste buds I never knew I had. But for every triumph like Cheesy Garlic Bread-drool-there’s been a few misfires.

How Cheesy Garlic Bread Chips make me feel.

The Gyro chip tasted like regurgitated Arby’s sandwiches. Did you try the Crunch Sauerkraut, wait, nope, I meant the Reuben? Unappetizing.  And don’t get me started on the Kim and Kanye flavor. Repulsive.

Because of the ingenuity and forward thinking in the Lay’s development department, I’m always game to try their new flavors. We also need to give props to their marketing team for rolling out new flavors in a deathmatch competition that’s sure to end in a bloodbath. Instead of introducing four new flavors, Lay’s is making four old chips battle four new ones. To the winner goes an eternal position in the chip aisle. So, how do some of these fried potato slices taste?

Lay's Chips Deathmatch Roster!

First up were the Korean BBQ.

When I think Korean BBQ I think YES. NOW. It’s so savory and succulent and always provides a good reason to binge eat. I think of the combination of soy sauce, pepper, honey and onion. They made a chip that tasted like loaded potato skins so why not Korean BBQ? Unfortunately, this flavor fizzled. The smell was right-just like a pork spare rib-but this chip tasted like an ordinary BBQ chip. It was bland. Muted. A flop. Honey BBQ wins.

Full disclosure, I had some of my students help me with the taste testings...

Next up, the Smoked Gouda and Chive.

Rousey vs. Holm. Palpatine vs. Yoda. Smoked Gouda vs. Cheddar and Sour Cream?

Gouda is one of my top 7 favorite cheeses. It’s smoky and creamy and pairs well with my mouth. Lay’s nailed those exact attributes-they had a velvety and smoky taste with the added funk of some chives. They were satisfying. Better than the venerable Cheddar and Sour Cream though? That’s a tall order. I’d say simultaneous knockout. They’re both winners.

Final decision: While neither of these new flavors were as awe-inspiring as some of the previous offerings, the Smoked Gouda and Chives was a worthy opponent to its competitor. Skip the Korean BBQ and head to your nearest K-BBQ restaurant.

Smoked Gouda and Chives: B+
Korean BBQ: C-

Review by Mark!

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Feel the burn! Poppin' Jalapeno Doritos!

What's your favorite flavor of Dorito? Everyone has one. Some people like to rock the Cool Ranch. Others keep it simple and roll with the original, Nacho Cheese. Over the years Doritos have added a bunch of other flavors to their stable. Some as permanent fixtures, like Spicy Sweet Chili, and Spicy Nacho, and others as special limited time offers, like Black Pepper Jack and Pizza Supreme.  Doritos have remained one of the biggest selling snack chips year after year by keeping the classics around, but also trying out something new quite often. Well, that and they usually have ridiculous over the top commercials.  

Well before our boy Mike rode off into the sunset and left the world of food blogging behind, he instilled in me a strong love for Spicy Nacho Doritos. I stand firm that those are my favorite. But that belief has since been shaken. By new Poppin' Jalapeno Doritos. Yup. Right out the gate I'm letting you know that they are that damn good.

With Spicy Nacho, I love that you still get your intense Dorito cheese flavor, but along with it you get a slow burn that steadily builds the more you eat. After a while your tongue is on fire, but it's a flavorful fire that you've earned through ripping through half a bag of chips. Well Poppin' Jalapeno are exactly the same, except with an added jalapeno pepper flavor, and just a little bit more of a burn.

So yeah, these are basically jalapeno popper Dortitos. Cheesy, pepper flavors and a nice burn. I also noticed that there were more chips in this bag that seemed to be heavily blasted with the flavor dust than usual. If you're like me, whenever I'm eating a Dorito, no matter what the flavor, I always like getting the ones that seem to have extra Dorito dust. They are the diamonds in the rough. You spy one down in the bag and your fingers descend into the darkness like the robotic arm on an aquatic sub trying to carefully collect a sample from the ocean floor. And when you raise it up and the Dorito is caked with flavor, you smile, because you know it's going to be awesome.  There were a ton of those in this one small bag that I had! By the time I polished it off I had a solid mouth burn going. You know, the good kind!

Poppin' Jalapeno Doritos are great. If you're into a solid tongue burn and a heavy amount of cheesy pepper flavor, you will dig these. I have yet to see a big bag of these so I'm going to go ahead and say they don't exist. I could be wrong! If I am, drop some comment knowledge on me. But then drop everything else and go get a bag of these. Heck, get ten. Buy the store out of their stock, because once these are gone, they are gone...well...unless Doritos decides to add them to the regular rotation. Which I heavily endorse. Poppin' Jalapeno Doritos get an A+, the highest FGFB rating! BOOM!

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Review by Rich Brunelle, who currently resides in Seattle where he stalks the streets in search of Phoenix Jones, in hopes of becoming his superhero sidekick.

CANADA WEEK PART ONE! Chip party! Poutine Ruffles & Intense Pickle Doritos!

Welcome to Canada week on Fatguyfoodblog! Where we showcase a some food items gotten while within the borders of our neighbors to the north. Why did we decide to do a week of Canada stuff? Well pretty much because I went up to Canada on a quick trip around the holidays and came back with a bunch of stuff I thought was super cool. So I figured you might find them cool also. So prepare yourself, For Canada Week has begun! I will most likely offend every Canadian this week but fear not, I have much love for Canada, since half of my family is from there. It's like a second home to me. Hell, I should look into dual citizenship. But until then, let's review some chips I got in Canada!

First up...POUTINE RUFFLES!

I had no idea these existed so when I ducked into a corner convenience store in Victoria, BC and saw them, I couldn't buy them fast enough. Tossed the shopkeep a couple of Loonies and hit the bricks. 

Just in case you thought it was REAL flavor. 

 Every once in a while poutine comes up in conversation and someone has no idea what it is. It always blows my mind and makes me want to flip a table. So if you're one of those simple minded folks, I'll lay it out for you. Poutine is French Fries, cheese curds and gravy. All tossed together in a big delicious mess. It's incredible. As a kid I once ate Poutine on the ferry to Newfoundland. Later on a college trip to Montreal, I ate poutine everywhere I could during a visit. Almost every meal. That's how good it is. More and more places are opening their menus to the wonders of poutine in the 'States, but not nearly enough. But the big question here is did Ruffles capture the flavor?

You bet they did. These are a spot on version of poutine in chip form. They somehow nailed the cheese and gravy flavor combination perfectly. My brain had a hard time handling the taste but seeing that I wasn't stuffing gravy and cheese covered fries into my mouth, just a chips! I was a little worried that they would get too salty the more I ate, but I never ran into that problem and I can assure you that I ate this entire little bag in one sitting. 

Just like with poutine, some of the chips had more of the gravy flavor than others did. So some of them ended up just bursting with gravy flavor while others tasted a bit more of the cheese side. 

Look at the happiness on my face. That's a happiness that could only come from Poutine. I'm giving Poutine Ruffles a solid A! If you like poutine, there's no way you won't like these. They are tremendous. But remember, you can only get these in Canada, or on the internet, delivered from Canada. Nobody is that crazy, right? Wrong. Remember Mike who used to be a part of the crew? He had an epic Canadian chip post once upon a time and he bought them all online. Check it out! 

Next up, Intense Pickle Doritos! 

I have to be honest, I saw a picture of these online recently and thought they were fake or photoshopped. PICKLE DORITOS?! Come on. Who would ever want these? I like a good pickle as much as the next guy, but pickle chips always end up being something where I can eat one or two and then I have to bail on them. But when I posted a picture of these on our Instagram, people went nuts so I figure I had to try them out. 

The second I tore the bag open the smell of pickles filled the air. At least that's a plus since that is the flavor they are going for. Oh, and just in case you are wondering, there are barely any chips in the bag. So it's basically exactly the same as in the U.S.

The first thing I noticed about these when I took my first bite was that it seems like they used the Cool Ranch flavor as a base. So reconfigure your mind when you think about these. Now they are a pickle flavored Cool Ranch Dorito. Now it's probably sounding a little bit better, if you're not a huge pickle fan. But let me tell you, the pickle flavor is there and it's quite intense. But not bad, I was surprised that I liked these so much.

I will say that Doritos aren't messing around when they say that these guys are intense. I think that even if you were a fan of pickle chips, you might need to be careful with these. The amount of flavor dust on them is staggering and after only four of five of them my tongue felt like it went five rounds with Georges St. Pierre. In the end, I'll say if you love pickle flavored chips, these will probably be your favorite chips of all time. If you don't? You might still like these. But me? I'm giving them a C+. But I'm not a pickle fan, so that alone says a lot about them.

I would have liked to call one of these two flavors the best Canadian chips I have ever had but that would be a lie. The title is still held by Sour Cream 'N Bacon Ruffles. FOR LIFE.

Check back this week for more some Canadian candy and more, as Canada Week continues on FATGUYFOODBLOG!

 As always, we know you've all got a million ideas of things we should review, so feel free to hit us up! Also if you're a company who wants us to try your stuff, drop us a line! We love getting free food in the mail! Here's where you can find us on the internets:
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This review was by Rich Brunelle. He currently resides in Seattle, Washington and still hasn't met Phoenix Jones.

Lay's "Do Us A Flavor" Mega review: Mango Salsa, Wasabi Ginger, Cappuccino, and Bacon Mac & Cheese chips!

In February of last year, Lay's rolled out a contest where you could vote for your favorite of 3 new kinds of chips: Cheesy Garlic Bread, Sriracha, and Chicken & Waffles chips. We of course reviewed them, and agreed with America on the winner, Cheesy Garlic Bread.

And they've done it again this year. SO, that means it's time for me to spend some time eating chips and talking about them. Ladies and gents, I present the 4 finalists for this year's contest. Save your fave!

First up: Something I've never had and can't imagine I'd want on a potato chip: Mango Salsa, in wavy form:

These smell pretty strongly of mango. I was surprised already.

So these are weird. The less flavor-covered chips are kind of fruit-sweet, with a pretty hidden tomato-ish (I guess) salsa flavor and are kind of enjoyable, but still weird. The super covered chips make my face do bad things. They have such a strong mango flavor, and even though I generally love mango in all forms (have you had a Bud Lite Lime Mango-rita yet? WONDERFUL), I thought these were pretty gross. They're just way too sweet and odd of a flavor, and mango flavoring in dry rub form just doesn't work as anything other than odd and kind of gross. I don't think the world is ready for fruit flavored potato chips. I'm sure as hell not. 

Grade: D. 

I decided to stop messing around and just went for the day-ruiner right off the bat. Dear taste buds, I'm sorry.

I present: Lay's Kettle Cooked Wasabi Ginger chips:

Let me give you a little backstory. I don't like sushi. I never have. I'll never understand how people who were raised on cheeseburgers and pizza suddenly hit age 30 and not just like, but absolutely LOVE and praise like the lord baby jesus himself raw fish wrapped in goo rice. For years, I was told, "you don't like sushi? It's probably cuz you haven't had GOOD sushi." But over years of being dragged to sushi places and eating roll after roll to prove to my friends that no- I have had what they consider to be good, I just don't like sushi, I have proven time and time again that sushi just isn't for some people. 

So should I be doing this review? Well, I bought the chips, so yea. 

Even though I don't like sushi, I could eat some of it if I had to- at least the less raw/weird versions. I could eat a California roll and not be too grossed out if it was my only option for food. Could I eat one dipped in wasabi and ginger? No. Fuck that. I'd rather starve.

Since the first time wasabi touched my tongue, I've despised it. I don't believe anyone likes it- I believe it exists solely so people can claim they like it and make a scene when they eat it. "DOOD! DID YOU SEE HOW MUCH WASABI HE JUST ATE?! DAAMN DOOD!" Or so Steve-O can snort it. 

And ginger? I spit it out when I tried it. Isn't it basically tongue poison that kills off any taste you just had so the next thing you eat can get a fresh palette? And I'm eating this on my beloved potato chips!? Of all the people I know who eat sushi, I think 1 person mixes wasabi and ginger together. But Lay's decided that the lunatic who submitted this flavor deserved to have these made. Sure Lay's, ignore my submission of chipotle ranch potato skins. But make sure you go out of your way to make this piss. Jerks.  

I bit in, and immediately spit everything out. In fact, here's me eating these for the first time: 

I guess that means that Lay's got the flavor right. As I panicked and spit chips all over my friend's garden and tried my best to not violently puke up my entire intestines, I was immediately taken back to the first time I tried these flavors, at a small sushi place in Somerville, Massachusetts. I swore at my friends and stared deep into their souls, appalled that I willingly spent time with people who purposefully ate such atrocities of flavor. 

So, if you love wasabi and ginger, these will probably be your favorite chips. If, on the other hand, you like actual food, you should set fire to every bag of these you see, screaming at them to drag themselves back to the hell they came from. NOTE: FGFB does not condone setting fire to bags of chips, unless of course you own them and it is done in a controlled way.

Grade: Every F that's ever existed, jammed together into one giant F that flattens your whole family and everything you've ever loved. I'm either setting fire to this bag or using it to prank someone I really hate. Unfortunately, there's nobody I hate enough. 

Next up, another odd choice for Lay's, Cappuccino:

Lay's is certainly getting adventurous this time. I opened these up, and they smelled like coffee. As I got closer to the bag, the smell sweetened up, with cinnamon and subtle hints of an almost maple chocolate. The chips looked awesome. I've never seen a chip so brown before. 

Were they good? ehhhhhh....

I'm not a coffee drinker (seriously, why am I even doing this review?) but I tend to love coffee flavored things, generally because coffee flavored things have a lot of sweetness to them. These don't. I mean, initially, they are definitely sweet, but as I chewed them, I found the coffee bitterness started creeping in, and I was left with a bitter coffee aftertaste that every now and then hit me with some cinnamony sweetness. This really just confused my taste buds more than anything- making me think I really liked these with time, but then each chip I ate gave me the same reaction: yuck. 

Grade: D.

So, while I've been excited to try these for the experience and test of my taste buds, these contest chips were failing pretty hard. Would the one flavor I was certain would be good save it?

Time to find out. 

Opening these up, they stunk. They smelled of a weird plastic meat. But that's ok- all chips I've had with bacon involved smell terrible. Could the taste be all that I'd dreamt of?

Again, sort of! But these are still awesome. They aren't really that different from any other cheddar and bacon chip out there, but I'm ok with that, since there aren't enough, and Lay's and Ruffles' delicious Bacon chips are only available in Canada, and SHITTY STUPID RUFFLES STILL HASN'T BROUGHT BACK THE WORKS. These are close to Ruffles' cheddar and bacon potato skins chips, just slightly more bacony. Honestly, right away, I tasted mac and cheese, but once I questioned if I was just imagining it, I felt like I was. These are cheesy, but are they really Mac & Cheesey? There is a very slight uniqueness to the cheese, but if I was taste-testing these and asked what they were, I'd just say they were cheddar and bacon. 

But again, I'm ok with that. I am 100% buying a big bag of these (or 5), but at the same time- I don't have to rush and buy out the store. Because there is NO WAY IN HELL any of the other flavors beat this one. If they do, it's a conspiracy. Fruit chips, wasabi and ginger hell, and a complete gimmick of coffee chips vs. a flavor that has time and again proven itself to not only be awesome- but be awesome on chips? These'll be permanent (or at least as permanent as Lay's decides to make them, which probably won't be very long). 

Either way, these are great. 

A. 

Try them all if you have the stomach for it. When you're done, vote at https://www.dousaflavor.com/#!/ but only if you're voting for Bacon Mac & Cheese. Seriously. Don't screw this up.

-review by Mike

New Doritos Jacked Test Flavors: 404, 855, 2653

Dear Doritos,

We all love trying new flavors of chips. In fact, this blog exists solely because of how much we like trying new flavors of things. But come on. For real. You're really gonna put out 3 new "test" flavors at the same time and put each in giant $2.50 bags (on sale) so I have to pay $7.50 to try 3 flavors that you're probably never gonna make again? I mean, we're all adults here. Let's be honest with each other. There's no way you're gonna make any of these. Have you ever made a test flavor into a legit, regular flavor? Yea, I didn't think so. You just want that quick $7.50 in curiosity money, then after a few weeks, these chips will disappear from the shelves forever, lasting only on food blogs and in the memories of people who had extra cash and hate money enough to try gimmick chips. If you were cool, you'd put 3 small bags of these in 1 big bag for $2.50 and you'd call them "3 Random Flavors We'll Never Make Again." But nope. You're not cool. You think Canada is the only country deserving of your long-forgotten-in-the-US BBQ or the absolutely fantastic Jalapeno Cheddar chips, and you'd rather get publicity in the US for making up random flavors than giving people what they want. And here I am, giving you that very publicity. Eat my shorts.

Sincerely, Mike

So anyway, as a food explorer and member of this almighty blog- bitterness aside, I had to try these chips. You probably shouldn't. Let's do it!

Test Flavor 404:

The smell of these kind of reminds me of the All Dressed chips Humpty Dumpty makes and Ruffles only has in Canada- that tangy, somewhat sour vinegary smell.

They're orangey brown, and they don't look appetizing.

they're also the size of my hand

These change flavor a lot. Initially, they taste like an oniony vinegar, then they kind of taste like what I imagine dry cat food tastes like, then they have an almost sweet tomato hint to them, then they taste like cardboard, then they taste kind of spicy, but not BBQ-hot spicy- instead, it's that chemical-like, almost wasabi-like sour spice. I honestly don't know what the hell I'm eating. Looking at the ingredients list, I see brown sugar, onion powder, garlic powder, lime juice solids (how is a juice solid?!) and orange juice solids. So these are onion and garlic brown sugar lime orange juice chips? Oh cool. Just what I've always wanted. I read somewhere that these may be an attempt at some sort of sweet onion Doritos, but although I'm no food scientist, I'm pretty sure sweet onion doesn't involve lime and orange juice. The more I type and the more I unfortunately eat, I'm noticing how strong the lime sting is at the end of these. Ughk.

the face of happiness

These suck, but at least you made my job easier, Doritos. F For Four 0 Four error.

------------------------------------------------------------

Stupid Test Flavor 855:

As expected, the bag is red for a reason. The chips are so red, they practically glow.

not shopped

Biting into these gigantic chips, and... BIG SHOCK! They're hot!

I'm not sure what these are supposed to be other than hot. As Doritos has put out just short of a billion flavors of chips that are hot, I think the only thing that might be different about these is a slight cheesy sour cream flavor I got at the beginning of my chewing journey. I almost think cream cheese, but sour cream is listed as an ingredient (along with everything hot you can think of). So maybe these are hot sauce and sour cream? Honestly, not a bad flavor idea, but in typical Doritos fashion, they're too hot to really enjoy unless you're one of those people who likes hot stuff enough that all your taste buds are melted off. These are the only ones I could see lasting of the 3, but the weird almost-too-creamy initial taste and some sort of milky aftertaste is pretty weird.

real mouth-too-hot drool

I'll give these a C, but only if you like hot chips. These create quite the burn after a few chips. For anyone else, steer clear.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Bullshit Test Flavor 2653:

First off, am I supposed to believe that this is the 2,653rd flavor Doritos has created? Come on.

These bother me. They look wrong, and honestly, they smell like Irwin. Chips shouldn't smell like dogs.

WEEZ CHIPS

Check out the up close:

Right away, I taste chocolate, then maybe... maple? Apparently Doritos is trying out some sort of a dessert corn chip? I'm trying to not throw up.

so confused right now

I could see some (weird) people liking these, but their smell and the confusion of bad corn chips mixed with chocolate and other weird ingredients is honestly bothering me a little bit. Also, I ate these after the other ones, but I swear I'm getting a spice from these too. Spicy chocolate? COME ON.

Looking at the ingredients, a few stand out: brown sugar, chocolate liquor, cocoa powder, skim milk (!?), garlic and onion powder again, paprika, chipotle chilli flavor (?!) and "bacon type flavor and natural smoke flavor." Soooooo... yea. Chocolate and sweet stuff mixed with bacon flavor, garlic, onion, paprika and chipotle. Now that I know those ingredients, these should actually be WAY worse than they are. I had a hard time eating many of these- the initial milky chocolate rush is almost not entirely disgusting, but the over-the-top corn crunch and the absolutely atrocious milky-while-spicy aftertaste is horrifying. I feel sick even describing these.

F.

I should fully disclose that I don't like Doritos Jacked chips very much. I tend to like thinner chips that can get nice and greasy and I can eat 4-10 of at a time. Even if I want a nice thick potato chip like Ruffles, I'm only gonna buy brands where the flavor sprinkled on the chips overrides the potato/corn flavor. Doritos Jacked is both more flavor (and honestly too much in most cases), and WAY more chip. The chips are just too big and too thick. I don't know anyone who eats chips and says "MAN, I WISH THESE WERE HARDER TO EAT!"
But even still, I've mostly enjoyed some of them. These, other than the hot ones, are pretty hard to like. If you can find the blue ones in a 99 cent bag, you should get them just for the experience of confusing your mouth. Otherwise, stay away.
They do have a contest though- go to boldflavorexperiment.com and vote on the one that doesn't make you throw up. You can win big money dollahs. I wish it was a contest to name them, cuz I already have a few ideas:

-review by Mike