Wednesday, February 26, 2014

T.G.I Friday's Loaded Cheese & Bacon Fries!

I don't know if we've ever reviewed any of T.G.I. Friday's frozen snacks- maybe it's because their name is so annoying to type out, or maybe they haven't had anything new come out that widened my eyes enough. But now they have. And man, did these make my eyes wide.

I'm not the smartest shed in the toolbox, so the instructions on the back of this box were a bit tough for me to figure out. So, not only will this review fulfill its duty of entertaining you while telling you how good food is, it will also be instructional, step by step (day by day). 

First off, you want to lift here where it says LIFT HERE, which appears to be on the completely wrong side of the box.

And look at the deliciousness that's inside. A gross bag of meat and cheese, a gross bag of frozen cheese, and french fries. This has a long way to go to look like the picture on the box.

So the first thing you do is take out the bags, flatten the fries out, rip off the tab and put the tab on top of the fries like so:

While microwaving, I ran the bag of frozen cheese under hot water and lovingly caressed it like the sexy cheese it is. Then, once the microwave dinged, I threw the bag of frozen cheese and bacon on top, like so:

getting there

Then squeezed the cheese all over the top.

now we're on to something

For once in my life, I didn't feel the need to add cheese to a dish. This was a LOT of stuff thrown on top of these fries. After microwaving for another minute, I took it out and mixed everything up. Did it look like the box?

Yea, pretty much. But more importantly, did it taste like the box? 

good lord

Thankfully, no. It tasted like a delicious mess of crispy and warm fries covered in cheese sauce, melted cheese, and bacon. It's just as good as you'd hope it would be. Truthfully, I think I would have preferred more shredded cheese and less squeeze cheese, but the squeeze cheese both solidified a bit with the other cheese AND kept this whole mess nice and wet, allowing for faster inhalation of this snack.
I think my only complaint (and that's if I'm looking for one) is the bacon. While it's clearly actual bacon and tastes like actual bacon, I would have preferred if it were crispier, better quality bacon that was either in super shredded, bacon bit form (for crunch while maximizing flavor propagation) or larger pieces where some bites would have an awesome bacon flavor and others would just be cheese and fries. This mixed up enough that everything kind of just had that bacon-cheese-fry flavor without much differentiation of individual flavors. I'd also prefer not to eat stretchy, nasty bacon goo. 

You can have these pieces Mr. Trash Can- they're all you

But all big words aside (seriously, propagation??), these are just the right level of super fattening, completely over the top hilariously awesome deliciousness that I'd absolutely recommend them to anyone who would even consider buying them. T.G.I. Friday's absolutely got this one right. Not only that, but if you're not a complete slob and just dabble in slobbery from time to time, this is small enough of a dish that it works as a one time indulgence that won't make you too sick. And if you're a full time slob, these will make your face do whatever the hell mine did in this picture:

I give these an A-.
Points deducted for not having better bacon, but otherwise, these are pretty glorious.

-review by Mike

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Boston Burger Company

For months now we've been trying to make an excuse to head down to Boston to try out the Boston Burger Company. One of our faithful FGFB readers told us about them and once we took a look at the menu we knew that it was only a matter of time. Well a couple days before the new year we found ourselves heading down that way for the annual Hometown Throwdown, and decided we'd have dinner at one of the most talked about burger spots in all the wild Northeast. 
And sweet Mary, mother of God was it awesome. 
Feast your eyes on the Fatguyfoodblog review of...


The menu blew my mind. I wanted to try ten different burgers, but I had to narrow it down to one, so I looked for the most ridiculous, over the top burger on the menu, and that was clearly the one called THE 420 Burger. Yes, you see, this burger is one that stoners love, because it's a combination of a ton of their menu items, all in one place. Before I tell you what was in it, why don't you feast your eyes on it...

This thing is something out of a fat guys dream. 
I know what you're probably thinking, "Hey Rich, that's clearly photoshopped, no burger could be that big and yet still look so damn beautiful." I know. I thought the same thing, but I saw it with my own eyes. I held this beast in my own two hands, gently, as if it was a new born babe. I studied it from every side. Smelled it. Even brushed the bun against my cheek like it was a fine piece of silk. I did all this before even taking a single bite. But when I did, it was like a nuclear bomb went off in my brain. 

The 420 Burger is a slab of flawless Angus Beef, American Cheese, and Bacon. Then it gets crazy. They toss on mozzarella sticks, french fries, onion rings, mac & cheese bites, and then drench the entire thing in a golden bbq sauce. Go ahead and read those ingredients again, I'll wait....YEAH. It's that insane. The burger itself was a thing of beauty. The epitome of what a burger patty should be. The bacon was thick and crispy, the American cheese, plentiful. The weird stuff was where it really shined, it seemed like every different part of it added some great new flavor or texture.  The mozzarella sticks added a blast of cheese and crispiness from the breading. The onion rings, a quick onion flavored punch and more crispiness, and then the mac and cheese bites. They were the secret weapon. I was already freaking out with every bite I took, but when I hit one of these I full on put the burger down, closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. Also I suddenly wished I had gotten an order of them. Such an intense, cheesy flavor. Even Chester Cheetah would have finally hit his cheese limit and been happy for once in his life.

A beautiful mess. 

The only downside to this burger was the fries, which actually ended up being more like potato wedges. There were all these great flavors and textures hitting my taste buds left and right and then I suddenly hit a chunk of bland potato. It only happened once or twice, and believe me, it didn't stop me for more than a second. 
Also have to remark on the bbq sauce used here. They call it a golden bbq sauce, but I'll tell you what it was, straight up, the same sauce that is on the Gold Fever Wings at the 99. Which, is pretty much the best sauce known to man. If you haven't had Gold Fever Wings, go get yourself an extra large order, with cheese melted over them. Josh invented that. BUT THE SAUCE. They drench the burger in it and it adds a great sweetness that battles against the cheese, meat, and breading flavors like an army of orcs heading for the walls of Helms Deep. But in the end they all work in harmony, and create one of the best, and most interesting burger experiences I've ever had. 

Also had a chance to try a chunk of the Vermonster when one of our pals proved too much of a wimp to finish his. I don't blame him, you see, the Boston Burger Company doesn't make wimpy little burgers that are easy to finish. This was one of the other crazy burgers on the menu, it boasted Maple mayo, sharp cheddar cheese, caramelized Granny Smith apples, red onions, maple syrup and bacon. Since I only had a couple bites I'll keep this short. It was delicious. Felt like a burger I could eat for breakfast any day of the week. If I wanted to be completely stuffed at 9am. For fans of sweet and salty treats, this burger was excellent. However, if you aren't a fan of Maple Syrup, stay away from this one. 

In the end I'd have to say I give Boston Burger Company a solid A. My little nit pick about the fries on the 420 burger was just me trying to say something negative. I was not only pleasantly surprised but blown away by how good everything was. We had heard the legend of this place long before making the long journey there, and I'm happy to say, it lived up to the hype. 

Just looking back at these pictures makes me jealous of Rich's 420 Burger. There were so many on the menu that I wanted to dive headfirst into like an Olympic swimmer, but I had to pick one, and why not grab ahold of my own mortality, along with my nearest friend that's a paramedic, and hit the Artery Clogger.

This absolutely stunning specimen seemed simple enough, a deep fried beer battered burger patties topped with bacon, bbq sauce, and classic god-fearing all American cheese. The best part about this absolute beast is that it doesn't rely on gimmicks as much as much of the other burgs. This hard working blue-collar burger tells your sissy other friends that you don't like none of that fancy foreign horseshit on your burger, to put some motherf***in' beer on this motherf***in sandwich, and let's kick some ass. 

Everything about this Red White and Blue hero was absolutely stellar. The beer battered burger, which you figure would pour grease down your new Hold Steady tee, still maintained it's juiciness without making you feel like you're drinking a gallon of hot grease. The way that all these classic burger elements melded into one hefty flavor bomb of BBQ, meat, and cheese, sold me hard on this thing. The Burger was greasy and cheesy enough to swirl the BBQ sauce around in your mouth, and the beer batter gave it a slight crisp (which didn't last long) that gave you enough texture to keep you happy.


The only problem I had with the BBC, had nothing to do with the burger, but rather their attempt to not be typical and class up the place by giving you homemade chips and coleslaw as the complimentary side dishes to the burgers. As good as the coleslaw was, I mean, come on, chips? would Mike Rowe want chips with his burger? Would George Washington or Abraham Lincoln grab ahold of one of these burger perfections, look down at their plate, and be like "damn, I'm so happy I have chips and slaw!"
Nope. Wars have been fought over lesser atrocities.
I'm sure you can substitute it, I was so food anticipatory drunk that I didn't even think of it at the time.  I did however, get my man mitts on those Buffalo Cheese Fries which ended up being nothing short of incredible. If you're into the hotter end of Buffalo Sauce, you'll love these, but cool enough to be enjoyed by even weaker, non-muscle men...I'm assuming.

Overall I give Boston Burger Company an A. My experience with them is still fresh, and I've yet to even tackle another one of the 14 other burgers that I'd love to swim inside and come up for air and sing that song that Ariel did when she got her voice back, but you can bet your ass, I'll be back.


So there you have it. Both of us gave the Boston Burger Company an A. That translates into "YOU SHOULD GO THERE RIGHT NOW AND GET A DAMN BURGER!" Want to check out the rest of their insane menu? Here you go: . Plan a visit there as soon as humanly possible! 

As always, feel free to drop us an email if you have any question, ideas for reviews, or if you just want to chat about snacks! You can reach us at . Follow us on twitter for mini review of snacks and restaurants, @fatguyfoodblog . Or if you're on that facebook thing, LIKE our page and we will love you forever. Well, maybe not forever, but you get the idea. 

Friday, February 7, 2014

OREO STEPS IT UP AGAIN! Limited Edition Double Post: Cookie Dough & Marshmallow Crispy Oreos!!!!!

Biggest news of 2014 so far: Oreo has gone full tilt bozo with new flavors. 

Within 24 hours, our man on the street, supreme junk food investigator (SJFI) and wrestling superstar Brian Fury alerted us of 3 new flavors of Oreos: Banana Split, Marshmallow Crispy, and COOKIE DOUGH. The following week was a tough one. 

We searched high,

We searched low. 

We searched in dark places,

We searched in weird places.

And now matter how much we searched,

We were met with the same old Oreos.

Now, I love Oreos (especially Golden double stuf, which I've decided is the best), but this is not what I wanted.

For how hard I worked, and how much I searched, I could only find the same old Oreos.

can't even find them in a toilet?!

I began to grow angry, and I lashed out like I never thought I would:

ok, I take it back

But just as Brian had put the call out, he hit us back as soon as he knew- apparently unlike any other Oreo limited release, it wasn't Target or Walmart that had them- it was Market Basket. And after driving several cars off the road and pushing an old lady into a trash can to get to the entrance faster, I had found them. 

And apparently the Market Basket attendees of Somersworth, NH don't believe in buying cookies, but rather just opening packages and eating them in the store: 


But anyway, I bought 40 bags and headed home. It was time to find out what the hell Oreo has been up to. 

First up- the one everyone wants to know about- Cookie Dough Oreos:

Did these smell like Oreos with cookie dough inside them? Yup. 

Did the creme look like cookie dough? 


Wait, are those really chocolate chips?

They sure look like them, but they're "chocolatey chips," which I'm confused about. I'll still count it. But anyway- awesome packaging, insanely awesome idea, the right smell, the right look, etc. These have everything! 

...except for tasting like Oreos with cookie dough inside of them. That is, unless I missed the memo where chocolate chip cookies now taste like maple coffee cookies. 

So yea, these weren't what I'd hoped for. They have a slight cookie dough flavor, but it's mostly maple and a weird slight coffee flavor that I have no idea where they got. These are ok (I mean, they are Oreos) and while I'm not throwing out the bag, these really aren't cookie dough Oreos. I don't know how a company that puts out so many awesome flavors let this one slip through. Did they not taste test them? Or did they just assume that everyone would freak out and buy out every store out of intense interest and that would make all the headlines and small limited batch shipment worth it? Ok, I'm probably looking too far into this, but it's just hard to see what Oreo thought with this one. 
They're still interesting and mostly enjoyable, but you ain't foolin' us with this one, Oreo. You got these wrong. 

Are they good? They're alright. Do they taste like cookie dough Oreos? No. So I guess I'll give these a C-. (it's really hard to give the greatest cookie company in the world anything less than that).


Next, Marshmallow Crispy Oreos. Oh yea- it doesn't seem like the New England area is getting the Banana Split ones, so please- if you find them in NH or MA, let us know where!

So it doesn't take a genius to realize what "marshmallow crispy" means. It means Rice Krispies Treats, but they can't use that name because Kellogg's and Nabisco aren't the same company. 
I was skeptical about these. I don't know. Rice Krispies Treats are incredible. Why wouldn't they work with an Oreo cookie- especially a GOLDEN cookie (which I like better)? But I just felt like having crispy bits of stuff in the creme would be weird, or they'd get the marshmallow wrong, as so many companies do.

They certainly looked cool:

And look at those chunks of "crispies" in the creme!

We all ate these at the same time, and you could actually feel the wave of happiness coursing through the room as our eyes lit up and smiles spread across our faces. I swear it got brighter in there. 

These rule. Hard. The creme tastes EXACTLY like Rice Krispies Treats, and while they're great by dissecting the cookie, they're even better eaten as a whole. The golden Oreo works really well with the marshmallow flavor. And those chunks in the creme? Awesome. Great idea. Bravo.

I can't say much more about these. They taste exactly how they should, and they're delicious. Internet high fives forever to the person who created these. I can only assume as soon as these went into production, he turned off his computer, stood up, announced he was taking the rest of the year off, then walked out in slow motion while confetti rained from the sky and the entire company gave him a standing ovation, slow clapping his long walk out as babes flashed him and threw their phone numbers and bras at him. On his way out, he probably stopped by to see the guy who approved the cookie dough flavor (now demoted to the mail room), told him to keep his chin up, and tossed a few of those phone numbers his way. He's that good of a guy. 
And when he got home, he found out Oreo has given him a billion dollar raise. And a jet ski. And he went to sleep knowing he deserved it.

I sure hope everyone else likes these as much as me, because I'll be real bummed out if we never see these again. A+++

The short version: 

Cookie Dough Oreos: Good, interesting, but not cookie dough. Buy the hell out of these if you like maple flavored cookies. 
Marshmallow Crispy Oreos: Exactly what you'd expect, and phenomenal. Dear Nabisco: Please keep putting these out.
Banana Split Oreos: M.I.A. Give NH some love, Oreo!

-review by Mike

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Kettle brand Maple Bacon potato chips!

With all the new chip flavors firing off over the last few years with Ruffles and Lays trying out tons of limited editions, you'd think that they would have exhausted flavor options long ago. But somehow the wizards they have coming up with new ideas never run out. But I'm surprised it took a chip company this long to come up with a Maple Bacon flavored chip, and I'm even more surprised that it came from Kettle before one of the bigger, more widely known chip companies. But when I spotted these in the store, I'm pretty sure I yelled out, "NO WAY!" and snatched a bag from the rack with break neck speed.
Now it looks like these have been available in different areas of the country at various times during the last year, but all the info I could find said that those were just soft releases and that they are only now being shipped out nationwide. So it looks like they could be in your local grocery store right now, at this very moment. So should you run out and grab a bag?
Let's find out...
This doesn't seem real!

First off, if you haven't ever bought a bag of Kettle brand chips, and you score a bag of these, I'll let you in on a little secret, You're going to need a samurai sword, or a damn chainsaw to get the bag open. I'm pretty sure Sylvester Stallone in his prime wouldn't have been able to get into a bag of these without a cutting instrument. Granted, there is a little cut in the top of the bag that you're supposed to use to get into it, but I've found if you use that, it usually tears just a tiny corner of the bag off. Then you have to try to pry it open enough to get any chips out, which ends up ripping the bag so badly that there's very little chance that you can close them up and go back to them. It feels like a booby trap.

"I'm this bag of chips worst nightmare." 
But once you crack into it, you're hit with an immediate smokey bacon scent. Interesting. The chips immediately remind me of the greatest chips of all time, before I even try one. Similar color, smell, and they also seem to have the similar grains of flavor where you aren't sure if it's salt of sugar. But how did they taste? DAMN GOOD. They are a very interesting version of the sweet and salty snack. You can taste the bacon pretty clearly and there's a great maple sweetness to them. After killing a whole bag of these chips, I can easily say that I never got sick of them for a second.

I would say if you track these chips down in the wild, buy them up. Not just one bag. Two or three. A great sweet and salty, maple bacon flavor that Kettle seems to have nailed quite well. Hopefully these will end up in their regular roster, but being a strange flavor, I won't hold my breath. There are too many dweebs out there who don't like to try new things, so flavors like this usually go away after a bit.

I give the Kettle Brand Maple Bacon potato chips a solid A!
As always, feel free to drop us an email if you have any products or places you would like us to review. You can reach us at We're also on that thing called Twitter: @fatguyfoodblog. Now if you find yourself on the Facebook, and want to toss us a LIKE, we post all kinds of fun stuff and let you know every time a new review goes live!

Review by Rich