ON THE ROAD: Arctic Circle (Full Meal Review)

Just recently went on a fast forward road trip driving across country. I would have liked to have taken a whirlwind trip to every fast food/specialty eatery I could peep my little fat eyes at, but alas, funds, time, and mostly funds, made it so I lived off of what food i was able to prepack for the long haul across country. THAT BEING SAID, on a hot day passing through Salt Lake City, Utah, thine eyes were drawn upon a giant milk shake window cling with the name Arctic Circle scrawled upon it's side. It being a scalding 115 degree day outside, I pulled in to, what I thought, was a veritable oasis of burgers and milkshakes. Here are my thoughts:

Their claim to fame is not only the milkshakes they provide, but also the Black Angus burgers they cook, so I ordered up the Black Angus BBQ Bacon Cheese burger, fries, an order of mini corndogs, and what was hoped to be the crescendo of the meal, one of my favorites, a mint chocolate "Above The Rim" shake.

little sloppy, but looks pretty standardly made

the sloppiness mixes into burger soup. see bacon? i don't either

First off let's chat about the burg. the BBQ sauce was barely there, but added a little sweetness. The bacon was rather flavorless and just added a hint of what they were going for. The thing that got me, was the fact that it was billed as a BBQ Bacon CB, it tasted EXACTLY like a McDonalds Double cheeseburger with the bacon and whatever sauce kind of floating around a bit, lagging behind, like the fat kid in gym class trying to run a mile. Needless to say, with my affinity for McD's DCB's, this was fantastic :D

always a sucker for new dipping sauces

For some reason they think their "Fry Sauce" is a big deal....but it's honestly just mayonaise, ketchup, and maybe a hint of ranch. nothing special, and I stopped dipping my mediocre fries in their mediocre sauce fairly quickly.

A NEW CHALLENGER

not sure what the white stuff was, but it was pretty tasty

these were by far the best part of the meal, Mini Corn Dogs. I don't remember if they had a fancy "Arctic" name, but they were just mini, flavor filled corn dogs, with some weird mush inside of it. I don't mind, was a fine choice to place that flavored mush inside of this delicious side dish.

With a place, who's named as such, you'd figure their shakes and ice cream options would be top of the line wouldn't you? I saved this part of the meal for last as I was excited to top off my mundane meal with what was sure to be a great tasting mint chocolate chip shake, to excite my tastebuds and make my core temperature drop from all that refreshing mint flavor with a dash of satisfying chocolate that would flip my mood like a crying pregnant chick....but no. This was by far one of the most flavorless shakes i've ever anticipated. The mint was weak, the chocolate chips were cheap, the whole soupy faux ice cream shake experience was just one that disappointed me to no end. So much so that I didn't even get through it, and opted for A GLASS OF FUCKING WATER instead. *ahem.

soooooo if you're ever lost in a desert, and see a shiny blue beacon waiting to fill and cool your body, stop in. But know you're going to receive mediocre food, sub par service, and a shake made from a dead womans still lactating breast, where someone squirted mint flavored mist into the air, swirled about inside of it, slopped it into a cup, and decided to call it a shake.

I give Arctic Circle a
D

(i had a joke to type right here, but I censored it
because it was TOO mean. ne cool josh, be cool)

-josh