New Burger King $1 Bacon Burger, Bacon Cheddar Stuffed burger & Loaded Tater Tots!

While cruising around one afternoon I decided to swing into Burger King (BK For short, if you are cool) for a late afternoon snack. My plan was maybe a double stacker and an order of their fries (best in fast food if you ask me...) But instead when I pulled up I was greeted with lots of signs declaring they had new items on the menu. I let out a sigh and ordered them all, because when you write a food blog, ladies & gents, that's just how things work. 

So here's one of the ads I saw...

Both of these sound & look great...right?

Yeah those both look fantastic! So...were they? Readers, prepare yourselves for a NEGATIVE REVIEW!!!!!! But we'll start on the positive side first...

LOADED TATER TOTS!

Word to the wise? Let these cool off before you dive in. 

The Loaded Tater Tots weren't terrible. But when I first popped one in my mouth moments after driving away from BK, I nearly drove my car off the road into a ravine on purpose to end my suffering. Molten, liquid potato/cheese/bacon flooded my mouth, scorching my tongue like a blowtorch. When I regained my wits and let them cool down, I went back for more. They were...okay.

Lava-esque filling complete with bacon chunks!

They have a crispy outside, with potato, cheese and bacon inside. Heavy on the potato but not really on the bacon and cheese. I think if they fixed this ratio a bit they would definitely be better. Also a warning to all of the idiots like myself that these might be too hot to eat at first could help their cause, and my tongue.
I give these loaded tots a C+.

Next up was the BACON CHEDDAR STUFFED BURGER! Sounds like the thing of dreams right? Sounds like something you would get at a specialty restaurant or from an awesome place like The Meat House, that you could take home and cook on your own grill! (P.S. The Meat House has their own burgers like this and they are out of the this world. Go get some.) But...no, it really wasn't good at all.

Oh good...lettuce.

Refer back to the picture of the ad for this burger. I know it's cliche to do the comparison, but I just HAVE to here. The bun looks like a smashed up, mutated version of the one in the picture. However, it was actually pretty good. That's the most positive thing I have to say about this burger. Mull that one over.

Seriously? That thick?

Next, I pull off the top of the bun and find tomatoes thicker than the damn "STUFFED" burger patty! I like tomatoes as much as the next guy, but honestly, that top one was an inch thick! I would like to find the piece of work who thought it was alright to drop tomato slabs onto a burger like this and throw them at him like Kung Lao's hat in Mortal Kombat. Don't get the reference? 

The sauce was just a weird ketchup tasting barbecue sauce that didn't do much for it at all. The onion rings were a smashed mess. The patty itself was almost hard on the outside the the shell of some insect. That's literally what I thought as I took the first bites. The bacon & cheese that the burger was "stuffed" with was just little chunks here and there, and the cheese wasn't even melted so it ended up just being weird blobs in the patty that when thinking the outside was a bugs carapace, this would be the guts. Made it worse when some of the bacon chunks were fatty too. 

All around terrible. I give The Stuffed Bacon & Cheddar Burger an F! 
Now comes the $1 Bacon Burger. In the world of $1 burgers, Wendys & Mcdonalds both have solid offerings. BK? Not so much. So I had high hopes for this one. Which...were almost instantly squashed when I unwrapped it and thought that perhaps they had forgotten to not only put a burger patty in it, but also anything else besides the bun!

Uh...is this just a bun with nothing inside it?

False alarm! There was something in side. It was a tiny burger, a squirt of ketchup and mayo, 17 onion circles and two chunks of gristle that they probably consider to be their bacon. Awful. Two bites and then it hit the trash. I would been more satisfied if I had tossed that dollar bill out my car window, in the hopes that someone would find it and it would make their day. Nope, instead I wasted it on this garbage sandwich. I also give this one an F!

Ew.

All in all, I think BK has been pretty good for a while, taking chances on things like The Bacon Sundae, but it seems like whoever is in charge of things might be making some bad decisions. It all started when they got rid of the greatest character who has ever promoted a fast food chain in history...THE KING. 

BK if you want my 2 cents, you better step up your game. That means better quality burgers, and the return of the King. Until those two things happen, expect me to make my trips to BK few and far between...

-Review by Rich