Monday, April 4, 2016

Burger King: The Angriest of all Whoppers

Burger King released a black-bunned Halloween-themed burger last year. It gained notoriety after people started dropping bright green deuces. It became a bowel movement badge of honor to try this burger. Think about that for a moment. People were buying this Whopper to see how it looked the next day. Great marketing tactic, BK!

I’m sad to report that the new bright red Burger King Angriest Whopper bun does not cause turd tinting. This is not as big of a letdown as the burger itself.

Full disclosure: I had to get some liquid courage before this review due to my general dislike of BK. I do promise that this is an objective review.

Burger King mindgames

I ripped into the bag (possible red poo, remember) and was immediately disappointed. I ordered the large fry and this was a medium at best. BK fries are some of the worst but can easily be improved with salt and ranch. On to the main event!

WOW! Looks exactly like the promo pics!

According to BK’s website, The Angriest Whopper consists of savory flame-grilled beef, piled high with thick-cut bacon, American cheese, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, angry onion petals, jalapenos, creamy mayonnaise and spicy angry sauce all layered between a red bun that has hot sauce baked in. YUM!!! 

Yes, that is a red-bun

The Whopper is a decent fast food burger. It’s got the nostalgia factor but hasn’t really changed in decades. Enter the Angriest Whopper. First impressions, it’s a mess. There was too much going on. The pissed off onion petals were chewy and most definitely not freshly fried. No heat. The lettuce was limp and pointless. Same with the tomato. They forgot the “angry sauce.” The jalapenos added some heat, natch, but were right out the can. Some fresh ones would’ve done wonders. The bacon was decent and had a nice crisp. The massive globs of mayo were a bit much for this guy, but the American cheese added a nice flavor and was melted perfectly.

I can’t get over how this looks 100% like the pics from the website
And how about that novelty bright red bun with hot sauce BAKED RIGHT IN?? It tasted just like a regular bun. I even isolated a morsel to make it more scientific of a process. Not hot, not even Gringo hot. Straight up Whopper bun. 

Burger King is as royal as King Joffrey, nay, Prince Robin of the Vale-I’m way too excited about season 6 of Game of Thrones. Anyways, I’ll gladly stick with BK for their satisfying and greasy breakfast menu but you’re killin me with these garbage burgers.

I give the “Angriest Whopper” a C for only truly being a little miffed, not Hulk-angry, as I was promised. -Mark

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