Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Chocolate Strawberry Oreos!

Oreo is like the flavor nymphomaniacs of the cookie world. You went in, gave it your all, and all of a sudden, Oreo peeks her head back into the room, grabs you by the mouth genitals and demands more!

Now I'm not sure what mouth genitals are, but whatever, we're a food blog, not a nerd science blog for dweebs. Let me tell you if you should spend your money on the newest offering from the team that has brought you such cookie greats like:

(I know we've reviewed more but that's all I could lazily dig up with the tags)

First off, and I'll never, EVER, let this go. Oreo has ditched the old WAY TOO MUCH packaging, to a less full, OH THIS IS GONE IN A DAY packaging. I'll always harp on this, but after years of the new direction, I don't think we're getting the old cookie count back.

You rip open one of these tiny, tiny, TINY, cookie packages, and the room automatically fills with a strong strawberry scent. We all know what the cookie part of the Oreo tastes like, that familiar chocolate helicarrier for various creme's. This creme?

DELICIOUS! It's strong, mouth filling strawberry flavor has all the hallmarks of a great cookie. Sweet and strawberry smooth. The rich creme washes over your tongue and the cookie crunching system delivers flavor to your entire mouth with it's ingenious cookie missile delivery bombardment. 

Since we're not a science blog for dickheads, but a bastion of information and freedom for the internet, we decided to investigate into this cookie further. We took our eye genitals and smeared them across this strawberry/choco creme landscape to see what we could discover. What made these so good? I took out the middle, the seemingly "strawberry" flavor globule, and tried that on it's own. TASTELESS. I attacked the rest of the chocolate colored cream and all I could taste was that same chocolate strawberry cream that made this cookie so delicious.

It seems Oreo has decided to give us the illusion of a strawberry center, and just packed their food science into only two thirds of this cookie. Now, would filling the entire cookie with that flavor have been too much? Are we to trust Oreo and let them decide how much flavor we want? I'm not sure, but so far, Oreo has delivered unto me more happy afternoons than I've had Christmas's mornings. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this one.

I give Chocolate Strawberry Oreo's a B+
Now I know, you're asking yourself with such a glowing review, why the lower grade?
Oreo has set the bar so high, they really need to do something to give us something absolutely crazy. A lot like Apple, they need to get to innovating, and give us something that really transcends the mouth pleasure scale. I know you have it in you Oreo, we've been here many times....

Review by Josh

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  1. I would love to see you review McDonald's new Shamrock Chocolate Chip Frappe!