Friday, February 24, 2017

Raising Cane's

Ask any BU student where to get the best chicken fingers around- most of them will tell you Raising Cane’s right here in Allston, and the ones that don’t are probably being conscious of their consistently long lines. It’s a unique spot both in name and location- of their ~311 restaurants, this is the only one north of Ohio, which by contrast has 8. (For those curious about the name, I urge you to dismiss that curiosity. I’ve read the whole story and it kind of explains it but not really.)

What I find most interesting about Raising Cane’s is that they sell chicken tenders- only chicken tenders, aside from coleslaw, fries, and texas toast. (OK, technically, they have a chicken sandwich where they put the tenders on a bun with lettuce and sauce.) But how, exactly, does that business model thrive in 2017- a time when dietary restricted consumers are catered to at almost every major restaurant? Since I’m no businessman, I’ll go with Occam’s razor; they just sell really tasty chicken tenders.

Personally, the limited menu makes my job super easy as a reviewer- order any combo and that’s it, really. The combos are all 2, 3, 4, or 6 pc fingers with sauce, coleslaw, fries, Texas toast and a fountain drink.

Let me begin with the Texas toast. THIS IS A GRILLED HOT DOG BUN WITHOUT THE SPLIT IN THE MIDDLE. A FARCE! I am truly outraged for the entire state of Texas (by the way, I’ve lived in New England my entire life and spent a grand total of maybe 4 hours in Texas during layovers). But how exactly does this qualify as Texas toast?! Look, someone really needs to explain this to me. Either Raising Cane’s needs to rename this menu item or I’m going into every bread isle in America, crossing out “Hot Dog Buns” on every package, and writing “Pre-Texas Toast” on all of them. That’s not how I want to spend the rest of this life. That would be quite silly. A petition would probably be more effective.

But what makes this even more mind-boggling, Texas boasts OVER 100 RAISING CANE’S LOCATIONS! How do these proud, strong, hard-working Americans allow this sham, this caricature to bear the name of their great state?! Again, I’m no Texpert, but if I ordered a Texas toast in Texas somebody damn well be handing me a fried loaf of bread! And I WILL SALUTE THEM.

And here's a funnier .gif from the days of myspace that's also Texas related!

...Anyway, that grilled bun tastes alright, though.

However, the coleslaw and fries are both truly unspectacular. Both items are in fact so average, for every character I’ve typed after that first sentence I become more and more indifferent to reality itself. If I continue to go on about them for even a few sentences more, I may disappear into the fabric of reality as though I’ve never existed. I’ve actually had to type this last bit with my knuckles, as my fingers have become ghostly and are passing right through the keyboard. 

PHEW! I reread my passionate rant about Texas toast and my fingers appear to have returned to normal. But I’ll tell you whose still got abnormal fingers- RAISING CANE’S! In fact, they’re paranormally delicious!

(Yeesh. After that bit, I’m tempted to go back and keep typing about the sides.)

But really, I’m only slightly exaggerating how good the chicken fingers are. Super tender, with a nice light breading. Honestly, for as long as I live close-by, I really see no reason to order chicken fingers anywhere else- unless maybe I’ve developed a wicked drug habit and only have enough spare change to order something off a kid’s menu somewhere. 

But, hey, who needs drugs when I have yet to introduce the REAL BULL OF THE RAISING CANE’S RODEO- ITS THE CANE’S SAUCE!

If you’ve read my posts before, you’ve probably realized by now I don’t play when it comes to quality condiments. And if you haven’t, and you don’t know my affection for condiments (which I affectionately abbreviate to condims): last night for dinner I had ketchup, mayonnaise, and relish with a side of hamburger. For real, son. I do that sometimes. One might say i'm condim cray!

But rightly so, when it comes to this Cane’s Sauce. It is a real chicken dipping masterpiece. And the folks at Raising Cane’s know it too- that’s why the RECIPE IS A SECRET! That’s right, a secret condiment recipe- who could even fathom such a thing?!

“Cane’s Sauce is tangy with a little bit of spice and full of flavor. We use our own proprietary blend of premium seasonings and spices in our Sauce and our Restaurant General Managers make a new batch every day in each Raising Cane’s kitchen. Our Sauce recipe is top secret and known only by our General Managers, who are sworn to secrecy (so don’t even ask).”

Well, perhaps the full recipe is known only to GMs, but my superior, condiment-honed palate detected four major players: mayonnaise, ketchup, black pepper, and salt. Random Rachel at backs me up; she claims to have discovered a close version of the recipe by looking at similar sauces at other restaurants and trial/error combos. Here’s her's: She writes for so she probably knows her shit brah

So to wrap up this ramble: Raising Cane’s. Weird name, great chicken, awesome sauce, don’t expect anything from the sides. Altogether: a B+ joint for a quick meal, if you like chicken fingers. I’m also factoring in that the entire menu compromises of six items. Although that makes ordering easy, it makes the decision to actually go to RC’s a tough one, when you can get way more variety almost anywhere else.

Oh yeah I almost forgot- the drink. Might as well review the entire menu, right? Well, those Texas folks will be highly disappointed to know there's no Big Red here- only Pepsi products. Blech. COKE IS IT! 

Review by sl33zy

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1 comment:

  1. It's Bar-B-Que bread, not Texas toast.