Wednesday, November 26, 2014

PIZZA HUT WEEK, DAY 3: The Pretzel Piggy

Day three, and you're wondering, "How in the hell are they going to keep reviewing pizzas?" Well consider your mouth slapped cause here is, what I believe, is the best in the Hut offerings so far. You've read the stories on how this came to be, so I won't bore you with the rehashing of the tale of Ol' Fat Hobbit Dan and his news of pizza from far away lands. I'll just get straight to the pizza!

First off, I'm going to say that I 1000% disagree with the other two on their once ignorant hatred for the Hut. Pizza Hut has long been a favorite of mine. Stuffed crust is something I think the world can unite on as being the single most innovative thing to happen to pies in the 20th century, but Pizza Hut Pan Pizzas have had the best crust of any pizza place that I've ever had. It's signature grease soaked crust adds another layer of flavor to which is an often overlooked part of a pie. So when I read their posts, and see that they have finally come around....

So enough bullshirting around, let's get to what you all want to see, The Pretzel Piggy.

This pie boasts Creamy garlic Parmesan sauce, hardwood smoked bacon, fresh mushrooms and fresh spinach—flavored up with a salted pretzel crust edge and a Balsamic sauce drizzle. If you've noticed, I did alter the pizza slightly. Mushrooms are only good for altering your consciousness and don't belong on pizza, so I went ahead and substituted them for banana peppers. What I tasted, truly changed the pizza game.

First slap onto my tongue, was exquisite. The creamy Parmesan sauce, had a nice thick cheesy feel, one that might mimic cheese to dip pretzels in. Unfortunately they forgot the spinach on this work of art, but that's ok, I'm sure not having it didn't take away, but having it would definitely add to the overall texture to this.

Now, the odd thing in this whole dynamic was the bacon. The bacon was actually quite good, flavorful, it had a slight jerky texture, which I didn't hate. So what actually took me aback, was the fact that the bacon played second flavor fiddle to what can only be described as the greatest addition to pizza of all time, balsamic drizzle. I absolutely NEVER want a pizza without it now. The vinegar just pushed the flavor of the cheese and Parmesan sauce over the edge.

So up until now, the pizza sounds like the greatest pizza ever correct? Not so. As you get towards the end of the slice and into the highly anticipated Pretzel crusted edge, you notice how incredibly salty it is. Not just a little, but pizza ruining, mouth burning salt. So much salt you could pay an entire Roman fleet (sometimes Roman soldiers were paid in salt, it's where the word salary comes from).

Honestly this pizza was stellar, but where it fell flat was at the crust, which if you remember from earlier in the post was always my favorite part of Pizza Hut. This won't be my last time getting the Pretzel Piggy, next time I'll request if they can put a little less of that salt on there, and I think we might have one of my favorite pizzas of all time. Much better than Rich or Mikes that they reviewed.

Pretzel Piggy: B
Pizza Hut in general: A+

I highly suggest you get some of these, it'll turn your average wrestling pizza party from this

to this

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