Thursday, May 5, 2016


I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. The deep thoughts were brought on by eating Pizza Hut’s Bacon Stuffed (stuft?)Crust Pizza. Swirling around my head have been thoughts on other bacon stuffed foods. I’ve indulged in bacon-laden cinnamon rolls, bacon-gorged cheeseburgers, and bacon-infused soda. Did the addition of greasy pork morsels improve these foods, I asked myself. I then realized that there were in fact stupid questions, despite what my teachers always told me.  Swine makes everything better and you should never question that.

Pizza Hut has been a love it or hate it chain for years, but I urge you to check them out if it’s been a while. They’re no longer the oily and indigestion-causing pizza chain. That honor now goes to Domino’s. How have they improved? They’ve added a plethora of ways to customize your pie-from garlic butter or pretzel crusts to white or buffalo sauces to a few new toppings. For me, it’s all about that balsamic drizzle at the end. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out Hut’s intuitive online pizza ordering system. The future is now!

Back on track. Thank you, Pizza Hut. After several depressing months of uninspired offerings from my favorite chains, the Hut goes ahead and appeals to my most depraved instincts by impregnating their new crust with cheese and bacon. They’ve done this before, but not with Applewood Smoked Bacon; they used regular Hardwood Smoked Bacon. We can all agree that there’s a major difference in the smoking process? Ok, I couldn’t tell the difference, it tasted like bacon and that’s all that matters.

If you’re one of those obnoxious people who doesn’t eat their crust, this ain’t the pizza for you. To make room for all the fatty goodness PH had to increase the crust size. Simple physics. The good news for those loathsome crust-chuckers is that the new crust resembles buttery Bosco sticks as opposed to dried out bread heels. And you can add RANCH flavor to them. RANCH.

That’s grilled chicken and cherry peppers on my creation. The chicken tastes like actual chicken, not that rubbery crap you find occasionally. The peppers surprised me with a blast of sweet heat and added another layer to the flavor profile. To the newbies, that’s the balsamic drizzle, which adds a tangy/sweet flavor. My only qualm about this pizza is that it drooped in the middle, so a fold was in order. Not sure if they didn’t cook quite long enough or the amount of toppings made it sloppy, but this was a messy pizza.

The crust was phenomenal. Like I said before, they were like cheesy, bacon-y, ranch flavored breadsticks-and they’re attached to a pizza! I was expecting the cheese to ooze and/or stretch , but just like the disappointing Quesarito-no stretchy cheese!-the cheese was just kind of there. But it was melted nicely and added even more satisfying texture and flavor to the pizza. The bacon was in bit form, perhaps a bit chunkier, but still had a strong bacon flavor.
I was already a fan of Pizza Hut and their endless customization and drizzle options. Their decadent new crust just gave me another reason to splurge.

Slight droop and messy pizza with tons of flavor and satisfying melted cheese and bacon equals: A-

Review by Mark!

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1 comment:

  1. Yummm! I want to have a slice of that right now. Looks really delicious.