Mainely Burgers in Central Sq, Cambridge MA!

Dozens, possibly hundreds of us working in or around Cambridge’s Central Square recently bid a bittersweet farewell to a mostly unknown joint called Four Burgers. The aptly named restaurant featured four types of burgers: turkey, salmon, black bean, and grass-fed beef. While the food was of great quality, it was a bit overpriced- a typical lunch time order of rosemary chips (which were, admittedly, nothing short of fantastic), a double cheeseburger, and one soda cost a dime under $15 without tax, and they never advertised any specials to my knowledge. So with a shrug, we watched them shutter their doors.

It wasn’t long before the murmurs and whispers of a new burger joint rose above the collective din of grumbling office worker tummies. A co-worker came to me asking if I had heard of the popular food truck from Scarborough, Maine, that was going to permanently park its business a few streets over. When I learned the name, the grumble didn’t come from my stomach.

The “Mainely Whatever” thing. Can that stop and go away forever please? It might coax a chuckle from a tourist the FIRST time, but as someone who lived in Maine for five years, this bit gets old fast. Sadly, just like so maine-y things in this region of New England, it’s time for change. But hey, then again, I’m a city slicker now- maybe I just can't wrap my head around the way life should be. 

this is in central square?

At first glance, MAINELY BURGERS felt suspiciously like a rebrand of Four Burgers, but I succepted to the ruse after taking in the restaurant’s wood-panel-everything décor, which was strangely comforting- like the square womb of a Tolkien Ent. There’s also a nice mural of the food truck driving from Portland to Central. All in all, the simple and polished atmosphere is a welcome juxtaposition to the Square. 

Two items on the list quickly caught my eye. The first, THE BEAST. On a list of menu items like the MB CLASSIC, THE SHROOM & SWISS, and THE ARRIBA!, this one seemed like the only choice for a Fat Guy Food Blogger. Also, the name reminded me of my favorite autumn themed protagonist- THE BEAST from Over The Garden Wall. Look it up and thank me later! 

However, the second and plainly named item I ordered… WILL SHOCK YOU! #clickbait

First thing’s first, THE BEAST. A burger with BBQ sauce, sautéed onions, cheddar cheese, pickles… and the much needed ingredient to make it seem substantial, bacon.

The most important thing, as I learned from reading many a FGFB post before I joined in, is the preparation of the only supplemental ingredient that would justify its name. This ingredient is, of course, the bacon, which was expertly cooked in my meal on at least two different occasions. The combo of crispy and chewy is surely enough to blow any so-called connoisseur of this sweat meat treat right into the middle of Mass Ave, to be quickly run down by an indifferent bus driver.

Everything else in the Beast fulfilled its expected it role in a satisfactory manner except for the sparing use of BBQ sauce. This is the second review in a row I've had to critique lacking condiments, but if there's no sauce on the table or at least packets in the bag, it's totally justified.

Which leaves the unexpected usurper to the Mainely Burgers claim o’ fame- grab something stable- BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

That’s right haters! Leave your ill-conceived notions in the 90’s cartoons your feeble belief system was conceived in! Doug Funnie and I will look upon your helpless husks and cackle! YOUR WRAITHS ARE DOOMED TO HAUNT A CROOKED PAST FOR ALL ETENTINTY, NEVER TO SEE THE FRUITS OF TRUTH TO BE BORN PAST THE INCEPTION OF YOUR WICKEDNESS!

Much like the Loch Ness, aliens, and Bigfoot (sorry Josh), it’s time to lay this urban legend to rest because FINALLY and WE NOW HAVE IRREFUTABLE PROOF (gotcha there tho) that brussel sprouts, when prepared CORRECTLY, are A TOP TIER AND FGFB NOTEWORTHY VEGETABLE. Suck it kale! You've had your day, now go back to whatever San Francisco vegan bistro and weed dispensary you crawled out of. 

This gluten-free breadwinner (I assume? Who knows anymore) commands the delicious flavors of garlic, brown sugar, and one unseeingly yet unmistakable overpowering other. The distinct taste of soy sauce adds the necessary salinity to deem this veggie snack-worthy, and yet I feel it was too heavy-handed, and distracted too much from the distinct brussel sprout flavor that distinguishes this snack from any other lightly-fried green vegetable. That being said, these were absolutely delicious, and I look forward to having them within walking distance on a lazy-afternoon workday then I do a hundred cheeseburgers.

The Beast: B-

While this was surely a well-crafted sandwich, it didn’t do enough to satisfy the savage urges one naturally feels when indulging upon a good-sized cow-puck. Two patties are an absolute must, which takes money from my wallet and points from my grade. However, all the usual flavor superstars come together to save the day, which left me with enough satisfaction to ward off buyer’s remorse.

Brussel Sprouts: A

Baby cabbages overshadowing meat is no small feat. This one truly earned the A.

Despite the slightly underwhelming burger, I’ll be headed to Mainely again soon. There’s a few other eye-catching items on their menu I’m keen to try- the Coop burger, their “truckmade” chips (we're supposed to believe a truck is driving these down daily?), and… here's another odd one- fried cauliflower?! Hey, like I said, they nailed the sprouts. Might as well see if they can glamour up another healthy food. My doctors would be so proud of me if I told them I ate two vegetables in the same week! 

Review by sl33zy

Yo! Wanna get at your favorite Food Blog Fat Guys? Have some suggestions for tasty vegetable restaurants in your hood? Never want to hear us talk about about a healthy food ever again? Just tryna fuck?

Well, here's how you can reach us:
TWITTER
FACEBOOK
INSTAGRAM
EMAIL

Or leave us a comment below:

MORSEL & Bean in Seattle! The biscuit kings of the Pacific North West!

As I prepare to depart Seattle I decided that I needed to do a review of my absolute favorite place to eat in here. I decided that the criteria to base this on was the place that I've gone to the most and never gotten sick of it once. Well, that place is easily Morsel & Bean in Ballard. They do biscuits, you see. Before I visited them that first time, I didn't really care one way or another about biscuits. But during my daily walks I passed the place and always saw it full of people so naturally I was interested. One day I decided to stroll through the door and my life was never the same. 

Morsel makes their own biscuits, biscuit sandwiches, and excellent coffee drinks. On average they will have their classic Buttermilk, Cheddar Chive and then usually a special flavor. I'm here to tell you this, it doesn't matter what you get, every single thing they offer is fantastic.

Remember Mike? He visited me in Seattle and I brought him to Morsel!

I'm going to tell you about a few of their offerings, but let's start with my absolute favorite. The "Fast Break." Bacon, egg, cheddar, and roasted tomato jam on the biscuit of your choice. I got it on a cheddar chive in this picture here. The biscuit itself is hearty and dense, yet also fluffy and flaky at times. Generous portion of egg and bacon, and then tomato jam. But if you're looking at this one, wondering why that tomato jam looks a little weird, it's because it's not tomato jam at all. It's bacon jam. Listen, if you don't know about bacon jam, at this point, you need to go spend a few minutes on Google educating yourself. Bacon jam comes in many different styles, I honestly have never had two that were the same, but I have liked them all. That being said, Morsel makes the best bacon jam I have ever tasted, hands down. 

I can't tell you what's in it besides bacon, but i can tell you it's delicious, sweet and has a nice spicy bite to it. Not only do I get it every time I visit Morsel, but most times I even get an extra side of Bacon jam to use later in the week. So believe me, while the tomato jam is good on the Fast Break, bacon jam takes it to the next level. 

Now if you're in the biscuit game already and bacon jam alone doesn't get you where you need to be, might I suggest adding some of their maple butter to the Fast Break in addition to the bacon jam. Gives it that burst of sweet maple flavor before the burn creeps in. Seriously, this is just about one of the most delicious things you will ever eat on planet Earth. 

Not sure the usual breakfast sandwich is quite what you're looking for? Perhaps try the Cheesy Biscuit. It's an open face biscuit topped with roasted garlic butter, Beechers Cheese Curds, and roasted tomato jam. Again, this is one amazing sandwich, but folks, when you're going head to head, bacon vs tomato, bacon is going to take it ten out of ten times. This sandwich is buttery garlic goodness. The melty cheese curds are creamy and burst with flavor. Pro tip, you can add crumbled bacon to this one if you're looking to roll like the FGFB crew. If a sandwich doesn't have Bacon squared, you probably aren't doing it right. 

But listen, I know there are some weird mutant freaks out there in the world who don't like bacon. It's a big crazy world and we're all different. For those of you, if you're looking to try something different on your Cheesy Biscuit, I suggest Morsels own Apple Butter. It's a sweet and savory treat that tastes like something way to fancy for me to be eating while watching Rick and Morty in my underwear on a Saturday.

While we're talking Apple Butter, one of the dudes at Morsel also introIduced me to putting it into lemonade. When he first suggested it, I recoiled as if he had suggested pouring battery acid into it. Which, a moment later made no sense whatsoever. He assured me it was incredible so I tried it and let me tell you, it's a summer drink you never thought of, but should have. The cinnamon & sugar in the apple butter makes for a nice swirl and the apple pulp you suck up through your straw gives the lemonade a whole new life.

Looking for something a little more tart? Give their Strawberry Balsamic Jam a try. I would usually get a Fast Break and then also get another biscuit with a side of this stuff. It's incredibly flavorful, in fact, most times if I don't use it all on the biscuit, I will just eat the rest. Big chunks of strawberries too. The "fixins" also include classics like Honey Butter, Chocolate Hazelnut Butter, and Herbed Goat cheese. But if you want to know my runner up behind the bacon jam, it's something I never knew existed before I hit up Morsel. FIG HONEY. It's just honey with fig chunks in it. It has also joined the ranks of one that I get an extra side of to use later in the week. Give it a try for sure!

They whip up all manner of fancy coffee drinks, hot chocolate, and Chai Lattes. As well as cold brew coffee, juices and much more. But you know what else they have? An awesome staff. The crew in their Ballard location are always friendly and incredibly nice. Even on a Saturday morning when the line is thirty people long, out the door and down the sidewalk. As someone who came to this city not knowing anyone, I found it really refreshing how friendly they were, because it's not always that way out here! The mood in the place is always upbeat and fast paced, but they never shy away from great customer service.

If you want one last indication of how much I loved this place, I hate waiting in lines and nine times out of ten if there was a line of thirty people before me, just about anywhere, I would bail on it and leave. I've waited in the line at Morsel on a Saturday morning when I thought I was going to beat the lines and go early. Guess what? Other people were way more dedicated to that plan. But I waited. Not just once, I waited in a line like that multiple times and didn't even worry about it once. And I'd do it again. It's that damn good. 

I'm giving Morsel an A+. Before them, I never knew that biscuits could be more than those powdery fake butter tasting ones that KFC deals out. It was always fun to try their flavor of the day, but even on the days when I went late and they didn't have any of those left, I was never disappointed, because the buttermilk are that damn good. Greatest Bacon Jam on Earth, and awesome staff, this place has it all. If you live in Seattle and haven't been, make the trip. If you visit Seattle and you're snapping selfies by the Fremont Troll, take a quick detour to Morsel. If you've never thought of visiting Seattle, well...Morsel is reason alone. I think that just about gets my point across.  

For more info on Morsel & Bean, check out their website!

http://www.morselseattle.com/

Review by Rich Brunelle, who has written his last food review in Seattle for the time being. But that doesn't mean he doesn't still have a few Seattle reviews to send out when he gets back to the East Coast.

Want to get in touch with your favorite food bloggers? Let us know about a new restaurant or food challenge? Want to give us a heads up about a new flavor of Oreos? Would you like to sponsor a post? Here's how you can reach us:

EMAIL: Fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/fatguyfoodblog

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog

INSTAGRAM: @fatguyfoodblog

DADDY'S BONETOWN BURGERS FOOD TRUCK - BOSTON, MA

Who doesn’t love a good old fashioned annual craft fair? It’s one of the only chances you get in life to stock up on homemade pot holders, amateur watercolor paintings, and jewelry made of rocks wrapped in sterling silver- all at the same time! Time to clear out your bank account! Then there’s always the fun game of trying to avoid eye contact with all the handmade clothing vendors peddling what looks like stitched together scraps of discount fabric from Joanne’s. So after you’ve walked the four or five aisles of homemade soap and windchimes, you may start to wonder why you didn’t just spend your Saturday morning at home watching cartoons instead of early Christmas shopping for your weird aunt. But then you smell something delicious and suddenly going to the local craft fair was the best decision you made all week.

not exactly what i was expecting

My lack of regret came courtesy of Daddy's Bonetown Burgers food truck.There was a block of trucks lined up, so I decided to make my pick by looking at the size of the crowd out front and Bonetown won that contest by far. The line at this no-name craft fair had at least a 10 person queue but I knew it was my duty to wait. Well worth it. I mean, how could you go wrong with eating at a food truck with a sexy devil woman painted on the side? Already, I knew if it could be, they'd be the source of all my nutrition until my fiery, eternal end.

I picked what tickled my fancy, which at 11 AM was rightfully a burger with a fried egg on it. How else does one justify a burger for breakfast? Go ahead and slap a fried egg on a chocolate lava cake topped with pork rinds and onion rings and I'll scream out "COCKADOODLEDOOOOOOOOO!"

My choice was the Die Munster (sic) Die- which is a burger with a soft fried egg, sriracha pickles, muenster cheese, and bacon aioli. If you didn't just say DAYUMN out loud, you may want to reconsider your blog reading choices.

 

When I tasted it, the advertised flavors weren't totally all there- a hint of spice but mostly just pickle, and the aioli was definitely overshadowed by the egg- I wish they had added bacon to it rather than attempt to lock its flavor within the aioli (although its a clever idea for leftover bacon grease).

Was it a delicious treat worth $9? Hell yea, absolutely. By far the most delicious item I'd tasted all day. I originally thought to make this a 3 food truck review, but instead one became a mini-review and the other main course wasn't even worth it. This Bonetown offering was satisfying enough on its own. I regret not trying all of their burgers and just making that the review. Next time I'm going to chase them down the street like the ice cream truck.

 

Bonetown Burgers' Die Muenster Die: a soft, fried B+. If I could detect all the advertised flavors more consistently, it would've been at least an A. But if I can eat a burger and love it without being tempted to slather it in so much relish, mayo, mustard, and ketchup that the bun disintegrates, it signals to me the flavors are on point.

doesn't get much better than that

#blessed

Review by sl33zy
Yo! Wanna get at your favorite Food Blog Fat Guys? Want us to review your stuff? Have some ideas for reviews? Want to be the one to tell us about the newest kind of Oreo potato chip ice cream with an french fry topping?

Well, here's how you can reach us:
TWITTER
FACEBOOK
INSTAGRAM
EMAIL

Wendy's Limited Edition Bacon Mozzarella Burger!

When I learned Wendy's was offering a new burger, I thought to meself, "Finally! A blessing from the Fat Guy Food God"! Although Wendy's is my favorite fast food joint by far, I often find their menu stagnant- every now and then, there's some variant of the Baconator, a new salad, or some such unreviewable nonsense. This time around, though, it seemed legit- the limited edition Bacon Mozzarella burger. Uh, yes, please.

Yep that's definitely the outside of a Wendy's.

Wendy's has a real hard on for their applewood smoked bacon products. It seems like they try to slip it into whatever they can- even their cheese fries, which they call "Baconator fries", which are not great imo. The whole concept seems kind of silly to me, actually. "Applewood smoked bacon". Why kill a tree that produces food to burn it to season another food? And really, how efficient is this process? I'm willing to bet no person not somehow affiliated with Wendy's has ever tasted its bacon and said, "Well hot damn this bacon taste like apples!". It doesn't. It tastes like bacon. Probably any other wood would do. I think if you left the tree alive and took the apples, sliced them, and threw them in with the other wood, it'd produce a more appley flavor. But hell, Wendy's bacon tastes great anyway. I'm sure they've got their reasons.

APPLES

So the Mozzarella Burger consists of three slices of the applewood smoked bacon, a 1/4 pound hamburger patty (weaaak), mozzarella cheese, fancy leaves (known to some as "spring mix"), red onion, a parmesan and garlic cheese spread, on a garlic brioche bun. If you review that sentence, you'll find only two ingredients are mentioned twice- "cheese, garlic". So it's really more like a cheesy garlic bread burger! That sounds 100 times more appealing than a bacon mozzarella burger!! Damn, do I love me some garlic. Now that the hype level has been set to TURNT THA FUK UP BITCH, let's see how they did.

The leaves just sticking there like that is convenient for dissection pictures. BONUS POINT

First few bites. Got cheese, cheese is definitely there. There is cheese on this burger. It's a cheeseburger. And the bacon too! Woop, I love bacon, even if its nonsensically made. But... where's the garlic? I tasted the red onion, for sure, but I'm not sure if it masked the garlic taste or it wasn't there at all. Unfortunately, as I kept munching, that mouth watering taste never struck me.
So pretty much I got the burger advertised. A bacon cheeseburger, indeed, although I don't know that cheese actually tasted of mozzarella. But it was certainly cheese. And the red onion added a very necessary taste dynamic here, which kept the taste levels above plain. But for having two ingredients that were supposedly garlic infused, I didn't get my garlic fix. The spring mix was cute didn't add anything to the taste. And I felt it was missing a certain sweetness- tomato, or a modest amount of ketchup could've brought a lot of tasty flavor here.

Here's me thinking about how to grade the burger. Jk I was thinking about how I choose to spend my free time.

I'm giving this bacon mozzarella burger a B-. If somebody shoved one in front of me, I'd be grateful. But if I'm going to Wendy's to spend my hard earned dollars, I'll be getting a JBC, a Double Stacker, or if I'm feeling wily, a Baconator. But not this one again without some tweaks. I think adding another patty, some tomato, and why the hell not, some sautéed garlic would make this burger truly remarkable. As it stands now, stick with the tried and true classics. It doesn't really get much better than that anyway, does it?

Review by sl33zy

Yo! Wanna get at your favorite Food Blog Fat Guys? Want us to review your stuff? Have some ideas for reviews? Want to be the one to tell us about the newest kind of Whopper knock off? Want to send Josh pictures of your knocked off Whopper?

Well, here's how you can reach us:
EMAIL
TWITTER
FACEBOOK
INSTAGRAM

Pizza Hut BACON STUFFED CRUST PIZZA!

I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. The deep thoughts were brought on by eating Pizza Hut’s Bacon Stuffed (stuft?)Crust Pizza. Swirling around my head have been thoughts on other bacon stuffed foods. I’ve indulged in bacon-laden cinnamon rolls, bacon-gorged cheeseburgers, and bacon-infused soda. Did the addition of greasy pork morsels improve these foods, I asked myself. I then realized that there were in fact stupid questions, despite what my teachers always told me.  Swine makes everything better and you should never question that.


Pizza Hut has been a love it or hate it chain for years, but I urge you to check them out if it’s been a while. They’re no longer the oily and indigestion-causing pizza chain. That honor now goes to Domino’s. How have they improved? They’ve added a plethora of ways to customize your pie-from garlic butter or pretzel crusts to white or buffalo sauces to a few new toppings. For me, it’s all about that balsamic drizzle at the end. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out Hut’s intuitive online pizza ordering system. The future is now!

Back on track. Thank you, Pizza Hut. After several depressing months of uninspired offerings from my favorite chains, the Hut goes ahead and appeals to my most depraved instincts by impregnating their new crust with cheese and bacon. They’ve done this before, but not with Applewood Smoked Bacon; they used regular Hardwood Smoked Bacon. We can all agree that there’s a major difference in the smoking process? Ok, I couldn’t tell the difference, it tasted like bacon and that’s all that matters.

If you’re one of those obnoxious people who doesn’t eat their crust, this ain’t the pizza for you. To make room for all the fatty goodness PH had to increase the crust size. Simple physics. The good news for those loathsome crust-chuckers is that the new crust resembles buttery Bosco sticks as opposed to dried out bread heels. And you can add RANCH flavor to them. RANCH.

That’s grilled chicken and cherry peppers on my creation. The chicken tastes like actual chicken, not that rubbery crap you find occasionally. The peppers surprised me with a blast of sweet heat and added another layer to the flavor profile. To the newbies, that’s the balsamic drizzle, which adds a tangy/sweet flavor. My only qualm about this pizza is that it drooped in the middle, so a fold was in order. Not sure if they didn’t cook quite long enough or the amount of toppings made it sloppy, but this was a messy pizza.

The crust was phenomenal. Like I said before, they were like cheesy, bacon-y, ranch flavored breadsticks-and they’re attached to a pizza! I was expecting the cheese to ooze and/or stretch , but just like the disappointing Quesarito-no stretchy cheese!-the cheese was just kind of there. But it was melted nicely and added even more satisfying texture and flavor to the pizza. The bacon was in bit form, perhaps a bit chunkier, but still had a strong bacon flavor.
I was already a fan of Pizza Hut and their endless customization and drizzle options. Their decadent new crust just gave me another reason to splurge.


Slight droop and messy pizza with tons of flavor and satisfying melted cheese and bacon equals: A-

Review by Mark!

READERS! We want to hear from you! Tell us what you want us to review! Tell us about that cool new Fast Food Item we don't know about yet! We rely on you, our legions of adoring readers to point us in a direction! But also just drop us a line and say hello! Here's how you can reach us:
EMAIL
FACEBOOK
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM

Limited Edition Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts!

Sooner or later every snack company answers the call of Bacon. Consumers and foodies love it. Pop culture has embraced it. Bacon is king and we all know it. But there are times where bacon makes it into the snack world where we scratch our heads and wonder if we ever needed it. Enter...Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts...

When I first heard about these I didn't think they were real. When I saw the box I thought for sure it was a photoshop job that someone tossed up online to get people talking. But then one of my pals back in New Hampshire let me know that they were real and he had tried them. So my search began. They finally showed up out here in Seattle and I scooped up a box as quick as I could. I was excited to try them but also expecting to be disappointed. How could the bacon work? Was it going to be those gross crunchy Bacos type pieces? Or would they go with something new?

Like most Pop-tarts, these aren't the best right out of the package. Some hold up better than others. I personally love Strawberry Frosted right out of the package. Many a camping trip have found me Straight Pop-Tartin' like a boss. 48 pack slung over my shoulder, slapping packs into the palms of my buddies as they woke up in the morning and crawled from their tents. But these? These you definitely want to toast up. It helps. Because the bacon is weird. It's a strange chemical sprinkle that kind of tastes like fake bacon and smoke. It's not overpowering, but it's not really the best taste either.

Luckily the maple inside is where these really shine. It seems like a flavor they should have been making since they started. Perhaps that's because I'm from New England and nothing makes me happier than Maple flavored EVERYTHING. But once you toast these up, they aren't bad! The bacon gives off a nice, little bit of salt flavor that goes well with the icing and sweet maple innards.

In the end I'm going to give Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts a C-. The bacon is fake and weird. But the Maple is pretty tasty. Toasted, they are alright. Maybe pairing meats with sugary toaster pastries isn't the best idea. As a man who loves bacon, I wanted nothing more than to tell you all that these were awesome and that the bacon revolution continues to dominate all it comes into contact with...but I would be lying. There are some times when bacon isn't the right choice. This is one of them.

Do you agree with this review? Disagree? Hit us up and tell us! Leave a comment here or drop us a line! You can also do that if you want to just tell us how kick ass we are. Or if you have a product you would like us to review. Or if you need us to clean up your neighborhood with vigilante justice. Here's how you can reach us:
EMAIL: fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog
TWITTER: @fatguyfoodblog
INSTAGRAM: @fatguyfoodblog

Review by Rich Brunelle, who currently lives in Seattle, Washington and spends his days being a one man neighborhood watch and tracking down elusive candies.

Wendys Gouda Bacon Cheeseburger & Bacon Fondue Fries!

Well, folks, 2015 has hit the bricks and 2016 has arrived! So we're kicking off the year in style with a review that has more bacon than your average review. That's right, we're tackling two bacon behemoths today from that little ol' burger joint we all know as Wendys. Up first? The Bacon Fondue Fries! 

Over the past couple years Wendys has been trying out this thing where they usually just take a bunch of stuff they already have laying around and slap them on fries. While that usually sounds good on paper, what we're left with most times is a plastic tray filled with soggy fries that are drowning in some weird cheese sauce. I was expecting much of the same from these. But before we get started, take a look at the picture above this text...now take a look at the picture below...

The top one is what my Bacon Fondue fries looked like. The bottom one is the picture off of their website. The Wendys closest to me might be the worst Wendys of all time. They are VERY lazy about everything they do. Crumbled bacon? AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT, JUST TOSS WHOLE SLABS ON THEM FRIES! I like huge pieces of bacon as much as the next guy, but come on! In this situation the bacon is supposed to be evenly distributed so you can have some in every bite. Terrible. Why not just put a whole tomato on my burger next time instead of a tomato slice? RIDICULOUS!

Anyway, the Bacon Fondue Fries are basically Wendys fries covered in a Swiss-Gruyere fondue cheese sauce and then "crumbled" Applewood smoked bacon.  The fries were a bit soggy as expected, but the fondue sauce was actually really tasty. Very creamy and interesting and it played well with the bacon too, once I took the slices off and cut them up myself. The cheese sauce alone was enough to make these destroy the Baconator Fries we reviewed recently. I have to say, I kind of hope that this loaded fries fad goes away soon, but in the mean time, if your Wendys actually breaks up the bacon, these are pretty tasty.

Next up is the Wendys Gouda Bacon Cheeseburger! They boast that it's aged Gouda, the same Swiss-Gruyere fondue sauce and applewood smoked bacon. But also to note, it's one patty (Of course you can add more if you'd like) and what seems like an entire bushel of greens. Needless to say, mine didn't look much like their promo picture...

See what I'm saying? That promo picture makes it look like the greatest burger of all time! But you can't fault them too much for this. Fast food is never going to look as pretty as it does in their commercials and promotional pictures. We know this, it's just fun to point out sometimes.

After I got done picking half a dozen massive leaf stems out of my burger, I finally dove in. For not being too impressed with how it looked, I have to say the burger itself is damn good! You already know my positive thoughts on that fondue sauce and mixing that with a slab of aged Gouda? Genius! I think my only problem was ordering it how it was and not adding a second patty. Seeing how huge it looked in the picture, I honestly figured it had two. I figured wrong. The only real things I would change here would be way less greens and another beef slab.

But other than those two things, this burger is  force to be reckoned with. Extremely cheesy and juicy. Lots of different flavors playing off of each other too. I would have to say it's my favorite Wendys Burger since they came out with those Hot & Juicy burgers back in 2011. But this makes those look like dollar menu junk! Get to Wendys before these are gone!

In the end I give the Bacon Fondue Fries and C+, soggy fries are never great, even if the sauce that's making them soggy is. Plus? Break up that bacon!

The Gouda Bacon Cheeseburger gets a B+. I would easily give it an A rating if there were less greens and a second beef patty. Still, this is an awesome burger. Get one today! For more info on both of these and many more of their items, check out Wendys.com!

If you've got an idea for a new FGFB review, please let us know! Restaurant? Candy bar? Burger? Ice cream? you know we try them all! Also if you're a company or restaurant who wants us to review your stuff, drop us a line!

You can reach us here:
EMAIL: fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com
TWITTER: @fatguyfoodblog
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog
INSTAGRAM: @fatguyfoodblog

Qdoba Knockout Tacos! WHICH OF THE SIX WILL WIN IN THIS TACO THROWDOWN?!

 We recently got a couple of emails from readers wanting us to review the new Knockout Tacos from Qdoba. So with our endless list of high up contacts in the world of food, we managed to get directly in touch with them and asked if they might have some more information they could send along about the Knockout Tacos. A couple days later I get the best package that we've ever gotten from a company in the mail. Why? BECAUSE IT WAS FILLED WITH INSANE STUFF!

Not only did I get my very own taco stand, a Knockout Taco spinner, a hammer, and a rubber chicken, but also? TEQUILA.  Can't go wrong there. There's one other awesome item that came in this box, but I'll save it for the end of the review. Keep your eyes peeled. 

But now it's time to put on my referee shirt once again, to call the six way match between these competitors. Get ready, ladies and gents, FOR THE Qdoba KNOCKOUT TACOS Battle Royal! 

Rolled up to my local Qdoba a little bit after they opened, flashed my Fatguyfoodblog credentials so they knew I meant business, and ordered all six Knockout Tacos, a side of chips and queso and a fountain beverage so I can wash it all down. Being the referee for this intense a match up is tough work, you gotta stay hydrated...

After dunking a few chips into the cheesy goodness of the queso, it was time to spin the damn wheel! 

MAD RANCHER IT IS! 

THE MAD RANCHER!

The Mad Rancher is grilled chicken, bacon, guacamole, picante ranch, lettuce, pico de gallo, and cotija cheese.  But...as you can see, it just looks like a pile of lettuce. Automatically, no matter how good this one is, I'm taking points away. Because no taco, sandwich, burger, or even salad needs this much lettuce. It's out of control. The flavor wasn't bad, once I took an hour and a half to dig the lettuce off. The chicken had a great flavor and the picante ranch and pico together made for a nice tangy taste. I'm not sure I even tasted one piece of bacon on here so it might as well not even be listed. Not bad, but the chances of the Mad Rancher winning this bout are kinda slim...

THE TRIPLE THREAT!

Up next is the The Triple Threat! This taco has grilled steak, bacon, 3-cheese queso, fajita veggies, pico de gallo, and cotija cheese. This one was a fun medley of flavors. The steak is okay, but the main thing that pops out is the fajita veggies. This one was pretty much dominated by the flavor of the peppers and onions. I think the queso is a neat addition that leaves a nice creamy cheese aftertaste too. Triple Threat beats out the Mad Rancher with ease! One quick side note, cotija cheese? Never had it before this week. Qdoba LOVES this stuff. You can tell because it's on nearly every one of these. It's kind of an intense flavor too that when you taste it alone, you think it might be too much. But it ends up taking a back seat to the other taco flavors, luckily. Let's move on!

THE GLADIATOR!

The Gladiator! By name alone this one should be the winner. On the Gladiator you get grilled steak, bacon, pico de gallo, lettuce, Caesar dressing, cilantro and cotija cheese. The Gladiator definitely delivered in the bacon department, unlike the Mad Rancher. This one had a very unique flavor from the rest. The Caesar dressing stood out big time and took center stage. It was almost like a steak and bacon Caesar wrap. Can't go wrong with that at all. The Gladiator did a great job of entertaining my taste buds and is a definite contender to win this slobberknocker.

Next contender to step into the ring? THE DRUNKEN YARDBIRD!

The DRUNKEN YARDBIRD!

The Drunken Yardbird is tequila lime chicken, guacamole, salsa verde, cilantro, minced onion and cotija cheese. This one had a very tangy flavor throughout. I think it was a combination of the flavoring from the chicken and the salsa verde together. It was heavy on the cilantro too, but overall decent. The guac really shined through on this one too, and for guac fans, just so you know, theirs is not a chunky guac,(which I usually prefer) but it was still great. But does the Drunken Yardbird have what it takes to beat five other taco competitors? Doubtful.

THE TWO-TIMER!

Suddenly the lights go down. Heavy entrance music begins and through the curtain comes the Two-Timer! He slaps the awaiting hands of fans on the way to the ring and poses on the top of the turnbuckle. The Two Timer is pulled pork, salsa roja, shredded cheese, lettuce, and pico de gallo in a crispy taco with cotija cheese...wrapped in a flour tortilla spread with 3-cheese Queso. Let me tell you this. The Two Timer entering into this match was kind of like that time Stone Cold Steve Austin handed out stunners to an entire ring full of wrestlers at once...

BY GOD IT'S THE TWO TIMER! 

The Two-Timer does not mess around. It's clearly playing off an old Taco Bell creation but who cares because this one is made with premium ingredients and tastes incredible. The pulled pork is so tender it will bring a tear to your eye. It bursts with flavor. And then the two hit combo of the crispy and flour shells being held together with cheese queso? Forget it. Here's your true Knockout Taco right here. The Two-Timer is a clear contender and very possibly the winner...but let's not count out the final contestant here...

THE BOHEMIAN VEGGIE!

The Bohemian Veggie! This one has shredded cheese, black beans, corn salsa, guacamole, salsa verde, minced onions, cilantro and cotija cheese.  It's basically all the stuff that isn't meat from the other knockout tacos tossed into one. It tastes very fresh because of the fresh veggies and salsa, but it's also like biting into a water balloon. There's so much liquid from the veggies and all the different salsas that it tries it's best to explode all over you the second you try to eat it. Eating this was like taking a bite of a really good taco and then realizing that you didn't get any of the main part of it, so you peek back inside to see where you went wrong. Good flavor, and if you're a vegetarian and enjoy plentiful black beans, you just might like this.

COULD THIS POSSIBLY BE OUR WINNER?

HAHAHAH. You think Fatguyfoodblog is going to crown a veggie taco the winner? NOT WHILE I AM CALLING THIS MATCH! The Bohemian Veggie gets disqualified for being too damn wimpy.  There's a clear winner here and it's the Two-Timer. He single handily took out five other taco competitors with ease and pinned them all, 1-2-3.  I proudly declare the Two-Timer the winner of the Qdoba Knockout Tacos Battle Royal!

For more info on this promotion or other great food items from Qdoba, check out their website: https://www.qdoba.com/

Thanks for reading folks. If you need me, I'll be practicing my hurricanranas and moonsaults in my back yard. Hoping to debut in Chaotic Wrestling this summer.

As always, if you have something you think we should check out, drop us a line! If you just think we rock and want to tell us, we'd love to hear it! If you're a company and you'd like to send us some stuff to sample, hit us up! We can be reached in many ways. HERE THEY ARE:
EMAIL: fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com
FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog
TWITTER: @fatguyfoodblog
INSTAGRAM: @fatguyfoodblog 

Review by Rich